Wednesday, December 31, 2014

I have just started a program but I have to deal with a lot of issues..

Heavenly Father,

Take the confusion from me. What I am trying to say is that I have been confused and out of it.  I don't know if it is all of the meal plans, rules, and regulations.  I have been trying to lose weight for years.  I would like to be able to lose weight without trouble.  That is not realistic.  Help me to deal with the issues that have caused me to give up in the first place.  I know that I love food, but I realize that food doesn't love me back.  I need, want, and desire to lose weight.

I have been self-conscious for a long time and today was the day I have decided that no more will I remain self-conscious.  I have difficulty moving when I am active because I have been limited by my weight.  Help me to keep that in mind whenever I have something to deal with.  Right now, I am dealing with mental confusion.  Maybe that has been the problem.  I have been confused and tired for so long that maybe I have became fixated about my weight.

I have really wanted to lose weight but I have been thrown off course.  I don't wish to be a beginner any longer.  I ask that You would remove the stumbling blocks that will keep me from accomplishing my goal.  I have a set goal now and I am feeling better.  I would like to lose over 80 lbs.  I see it as a daunting task, but my mindset has got to change.  Help me to relax.  It is no use spending all of this money whenever I am so stressed out about this.

In fact, help me to deal with stress.  I have allowed stress to take over my life.  I tire of it.  The thing is, though, I don't want to just tire of things.  I want to do something about it.  I want to be committed and remain committed.  The thing that scare me the most is that I am afraid that I won't be committed but remain committed.  I have no idea how to deal with plateaus, eating the right kinds of foods, and dealing with frustration.  That is why I have signed up with Weight Watchers for the third time.

Help me to lose weight.  I weigh nearly 300 pounds and I have never weighed that before a few years ago.  I don't wish to stay 300 pounds for a while and then gain even more weight to a point where I will remain at that weight for a while.  I have noticed that my weight is a series of cycles.  It is a cycle that I have a hard time getting out of, but I realize that it is not impossible.   I am asking for a change of mindset and a way to stay committed.

My life is a testimony of confusion and giving up.  My eating habits have become emotional than ever before.  My poor eating habits have to do with stress.  Help me to deal with stress.  It scares me that losing weight will be a journey that one has to stick to and commit to.  I fear that I will not be up to the challenge.  Give me the strength and guidance that I need to be and remain up to the challenge. I ask that You would show me what I need to do.

I want more than anything to do something about it.  I have allowed myself to be thrown off course so many times I have to look back at what I did right and what I have done wrong.  Help me to deal with the cares of this life and not get so caught up in the things of the world.  Help me to see myself as You see me.  I know Your Word says that I am fearfully and wonderfully made, but I admit that I have a hard time believing it.  I don't really think I am beautiful or wonderfully made.  I have dealt with guilt over gaining weight, the stress of knowing that I will fail this time, comparing myself to others, the low self-esteem, and the fact that I hate to and I am afraid to fail.  Not only do I ask to take over my affairs, but to not be and feel like I am lazy and powerless.  Help me to change my mindset so that I will remain eating and thus being healthy.

I am now under the stress that I will fail and that I will remain confused.  I tire of it, but I don't wish to remain tired.  I want to and need to do something about it.  I know and realize that my health problems are due to having diabetes and other risk factors due to my weight gain.  Help me to see what my counselor says could happen to me if I don't commit myself to losing weight and having no real set goals.  I also ask that You will help me to conquer all of my fears.  I surrender all to You and I ask You for forgiveness and lack of faith.  Give me the faith and desire to not only commit myself but to overcome and deal with whatever confusion and challenge that I know will come my way such as fear, doubt, and not dealing with the stress in my life.  Help me to not do all of the work and do things that will cause further confusion which in turn will most likely cause me to quit.  Help me to make the right decisions and to not feel bad whenever I slip up.  I need to see that things won't be perfect as I am not perfect.  Help me to see reality as it truly is and not as I want it.

I have a perfectionist problem and I would like to be realistic and honest with myself.  How do I do that when I have anxiety, mental health problems, physical health problems, an unrealistic mindset, and having difficulty with application of what I know and what I have learned.  I further ask that You would give me the tools and the guidance that I need to not only lose weight but to be healthy and to keep it off.  Help me to further set more realistic goals and to not just see the difficulty in the details but also see the big picture and to not see it as a daunting task.  I ask for Your help in this matter and I ask that You would help me to take care of myself.  Thank You for giving the opportunity to present this request to You.  I also thank You that nothing is too hard for You.  I thank You for Your forgiveness and Your salvation.  Thank You and I praise You.

In Jesus' name,


Amen

Tuesday, December 30, 2014

Salvation and also being assured of salvation

Lord Jesus,

I believe in my heart that The Father rose You from the dead and that You are the Son of God. Thank You for dying on the cross for me.  You have made the ultimate sacrifice so that I would be saved. I ask that You would save me and give me the assurance of my salvation.  I have had trouble being assured that I am saved.  I know that it sounds bad that I have been having doubts for we are saved by faith.  I realize that my faith is not very strong as it should be.  I ask that You would strengthen my faith and open my eyes that I may see that You are not only the Son of God, that You are Lord and Savior as well.  I want to be a born-again Christian.  I ask that You would fill me with the Holy Spirit.  Help me to live for You and serve You everyday of my life.  Help me to live daily as if it is my life for how I live in the temporal will determine how I will live for all eternity.  May I love You always and may You always guide me even in the midst of the darkest times.  I need, want, and desire to change, so I ask You to change me, and make me a new creation in Christ Jesus.  Forgive me for all of my sins.  I am a sinner who is in need of You, Lord, and Savior.

In Your name,


I thank You,


Amen

Monday, December 29, 2014

In need of a change

Father,

I am not a strong person.  I feel like I am so weak and powerless sometimes if not often.  I have difficulty applying even the simplest tasks sometimes.  For example, I have difficulty losing weight. Maybe I am not fully committed to losing weight.  Mentally everything seems to be okay but physically I have no real commitment though I have every reason to commit and commit totally. I am overweight, if not obese, I am diabetic, and high blood pressure and high cholesterol.  I even wheeze at times, I am growing out of clothes, and be able to do things that others take for granted.  For years I have been comparing myself to others, but I have become more self-conscious of my weight and my appearance.  I just wish that I wasn't so self-conscious.  The truth is, I have no real goals set though I have tried in the past.  Help me, Lord with this.

I haven't always been a good Christian.  I am a sinner yes, but I am not the most obedient salt and light that I could be.  I have been having doubts for years about being born again.  I still am not so sure if I am truly born again.  I have asked Jesus for salvation but it is as if I have to find the right words to say.  I realize that I am invoking something whenever I pray.  It is as if I pray words instead of in faith.  I am not so sure if I even call You Heavenly Father.  I pray to You for one thing and pray to Jesus for other things.  My faith is not as strong as it should be.  I need help, Lord.

I am also in need of not being scared of other people and what they are going to do to me.  I have been this way since my childhood.  I have been and still have been unable to stand up for myself. I can't do certain things because I have too little love and respect for myself.  I wonder if that makes me a friend of the world and one of Your enemies.  I am so caught up in the things of the world that I often fail to realize that all of this is temporary.  I wish I didn't feel this way and be this way.  That is why so many of my letters and prayers are so negative.  I would like to be positive every once in a while.  Help me, Lord, for I tire of all of the negativity in my life.  I hate that I have allowed this to happen.

I also need healing from having mental and emotional problems.  I realize that there are those who have AIDS, cancer, ebola, and other diseases that are far more deadly.  I will pray for them.  I am so saddened that diseases exist.  I wish that all of us could be healthy, including myself.  That is I believe I ask for healing.  The truth is, I cannot take it anymore.  I tire of the negative thoughts, the condemnation, the compulsions, the low self worth that goes with it.  I also tire of the obsessive thoughts and all of these issues.  I wonder too much about fictional characters and what kind of people they are.  I am afraid that those on television will be like those in my thoughts.  I have grown obsessed with television and movies.  Lord, please heal me.  I just am not strong enough to deal with it all.  This has become too much.  Help me, Lord.

Sincerely,


Letters to God

Saturday, December 27, 2014

To be strong in Christ

Lord,

Help me to be a stronger believer in Christ.  I am sorry for all of my sins.  I am in need of wisdom.  I need help.  I need help being more committed to You and to my health.  Show me what I need to do. Thank You for doing so.

Sincerely,


Letters to God

Friday, December 26, 2014

Honesty in prayer

Lord,

Help me to be more honest in my prayers.  Give me the assurance of my salvation.  May I not allow myself to be distracted in my prayers.

In Jesus' name,

Amen

Thursday, December 25, 2014

Happy Birthday, Jesus

Thank You, Jesus.  Happy Birthday.  I know that most likely You weren't born in December, but I thank You, O Lord and Savior.

Thank You, In Your name,

Amen

Wednesday, December 24, 2014

Reminder for Christmas....and now

Dear Heavenly Father,

I have realized that my time for Jesus has been severely limited today.  I apologize.  I am sorry for not communicating with You.  Remind me that even today that Jesus Christ was born whatever the day and that He has done a lot of things.  He healed, ministered, and saves.  Remind me of Jesus Christ everyday.

Thank You,


Sincerely,


Letters to God

Tuesday, December 23, 2014

Lord, I thank You

Lord,

Thank You for saving me.  Thank You for this day and everyday.

In Jesus' name,


Amen

Sunday, December 21, 2014

My Day Today

Dear Heavenly Father,

I am in such good spirits today.  I feel so much better and more relaxed than I have in a long time.  I have thought about making a pudding next.  Last night, I baked some oatmeal raisin cookies this morning.  They have turned out well.  I needed to relax today and now that is what I am doing.  I am typing so fast because I felt so lazy yesterday.  Cleaning up a room and a closet is so much work.  I am so happy just to be around to do even the most minor things.  I am lucky to be alive.  Thank You.

Sincerely,

Letters to God

Friday, December 19, 2014

Praising God

Hallelujah!  Praise the Lord!  Bless You, oh Lord.  Hallelujah!

Thursday, December 18, 2014

A change in me

Dear Heavenly Father,

I believe that the best prayers are the most honest.  I feel like You care about me and that You love me.  Thank You for caring about me. I was feeling down today and now I realize that there are things that I need to do and that is changing myself.  I realize that that is the answer to my prayers, but I have no idea how to go about doing that.  I need wisdom and guidance in this manner.  I thank You that I can rely on You as You are the only One I can turn to for this.  I know that I need help.  I also ask for counsel.  I do have a counselor and she is very helpful.  However, I am also in need of spiritual counseling.  I thank You for answering prayers and I look forward to Your advice and Your help.


Sincerely,


Letters to God

Monday, December 15, 2014

A thank you letter to Jesus

Lord Jesus,

Thank You for giving me every opportunity to be honest with You.  I believe that You save and that You answer prayer.  I am thankful for Your remembrance and Your forgiveness.  I thank You for Your healing.

Sincerely,


Letters to God

Sunday, December 14, 2014

Christmas Confusion

Father,

How do I become honest if I am unable to stop the confusion? The truth is, I am confused about how to celebrate Christmas.  I believe that You have given me the answer.  Yet it seems as if You haven't because I am more obsessed about making a budget than ever.  I am also more confused as to how to put Jesus into my plans.  Maybe there lies the problem.  If Jesus is the Reason for the season, then why am I so confused?  Help me with this confusion.  Lord, I need help and the money to buy all of those gifts soon and I also need to be reminded of Who and what are important.  How do I balance it all out?  I thank You that in Your word that You shall supply all of my needs according to Your riches and glory.  I strongly believe this and I will wait for You.  I promise that I will not limit You. I have no right to do since I am a flawed human and You are God.  I also believe that You know what I am going to say before I was thinking of saying it.  Christmas is my favorite holiday and I do admit that I do get caught up in the pomp and circumstance.  However, I am of the feeling that the more presents, the better the Christmas.  Open my eyes that I may see another point of view.  There is nothing where Christmas is mentioned,  There is also nothing that does says that outside the commercialism, it is sinful and idolatrous, but that is my two cents. How should I celebrate Christmas and I have wondered how You really feel about Christmas?  What does the Bible say about the money that I absolutely need to bake cakes, casseroles, and to buy presents?  I guess there is nothing wrong with giving and receiving gifts, but teach me what or Who is most important.  Thank You for answering my prayer.  I am waiting and anticipating Your answers.

In Jesus' name,

Amen

Saturday, December 13, 2014

I am grateful.

Dear Heavenly Father,

I believe that the best prayer is to tell You the truth.  You are not a God who cannot lie.  After all, we as believers are to worship in Spirit and in truth.  You, the Holy Spirit of God, have convicted me for all of my sins.  Lord, You have given me wisdom and clarity, and I am ever grateful that my prayer has already been answered.  I feel so much more at peace since I have prayed to You.  I know that nothing is too hard for You.  I do wonder however, how my prayer will be answered.  However, because nothing is too hard I have no real place where I can go for an answer.  As a matter of fact, I have no right to limit You and how You will answer this prayer.  I am ever thankful that You have answered my prayer.  I strongly believe not only is an answer is on its way, but that I have nothing to be concerned about.  I believe that You have already answered my prayer.  I have faith that You already know what I am going to say before I ask.  I thank You that You have blessed me with so much and that my prayer has been answered.  I also ask that You will further take care of me. Reassure me that I have absolutely nothing to be worried, anxious, or concerned.  Thank You for taking care of me.  Thank You for answering this prayer.

Sincerely,


Letters to God

Friday, December 12, 2014

Seeing things from a balanced, fair perspective

Dear Lord,

Help me to see things as You see them.  I pray for wisdom and clarity in all things.  I am still wondering how my prayers are going to get answered.  I just wish that I could be happier and more grateful than I am.  I wish I could see the good in the world and in myself.  I have difficulty seeing things from a fair perspective.  I think that I do.  However, my admissions tend to be negative.  There has got to be a positive to balance things out.  I have all of these needs and I tend to be overwhelmed. I have no idea how to deal with that.  What do I need to do?  What do I need to say?  Help me.

Thank you,

In Jesus' name,

Amen

Thursday, December 11, 2014

Jesus is the Reason

Dear Jesus,

You are the Reason for the Season.  Thank You for dying on the cross for me.  Thank You that the Father rose You from the dead.  Thank You for saving me.  I had to see what this particular holiday was all about.  I thank You for all that You have done for me and for others.  Help me to see on Christmas day who You are.  It isn't, nor should it ever be, about presents and cakes.  There are times when I fail to see that because the commercialism is so prevalent here.  Forgive me, Jesus, for not only my sins, but for my failed insight into Christmas.  I love to give to others.  I thank You for a giving heart.  I love receiving too don't get my wrong.  I also love to see the joy in the faces of others. I also enjoy seeing reading the others from messages from You.  I ask that it woe not be too late, my messages and my tracts for You.  Help me to serve You not only on Christmas, but every day of the year.  Thank You.

In Your name,

Amen

Wednesday, December 10, 2014

My Christmas Prayer

Lord,

I know that I haven't written much to You recently.  I have been distracted yet grateful.  Help me to be mindful of what is really going on in the world.  Right now, I am thinking of Christmas and how I am going to come up with the money that I need for the celebration.  I am in need of enough money to celebrate Christmas.  I realize that I am not going to have enough.  There are things that I have yet to spend.  I am glad that You have already answered my prayers.  I am sorry for my sins.  I am sorry that I cannot think of You other than Christmas.  I look forward to the Christmas season.  In fact, it has become hard for me to wait. However, that is what I have been doing for the past few years now. However, if the wait is over, then I realize that the next day symbolizes the end of Christmas. December 26 is one of my least favorite days of the year for that very reason.  I am in need because well, I have no money.  You are the only one I can turn to and I know that with You, nothing is hard, not at all.  I have little idea which day exactly I am going to spend all of this, but I have even less of an idea what I will spend this money on.  I have written and compiled list after list and I don't have enough money to cover the expenses.  I ask You for financial help.  I have at least kept my promise to pay for the bill me later account, which is good.  However, I wish to make a promise to myself and to You that I will be wise with the money that I have received.  I am praying this out of faith and commitment.  Thank You, Lord, for answering my prayer.


In Jesus' name,

Amen

Tuesday, December 9, 2014

Answered prayer

Father,

I thank You that You answer prayer.  You have given me wisdom, guidance, and a sense of direction. Lord, I thank You.

Sincerely,


Letters to God

Monday, December 8, 2014

My needs have already been met.

Father,

You know what I am in need of before I even ask for it.  I also thank You that You are an all-time God.  Thank You.

In Jesus' name,

Amen

Sunday, December 7, 2014

The situation I am in

Dear Heavenly Father,

Help me.  Help me to get out of situation I am in.  I have grown too complacent.  I am a bored person who admittedly needs to get out more.  I need guidance from You.  I have no idea what to do.  I ask that You would give me spiritual rest and a sense of direction in my life.  There are barriers that hold me back, or at least seem to.  I also ask that You would remove those barriers.  Bless me with the wisdom that I so need in this situation.  I thank You that You give wisdom liberally.  I need to hear Your voice.  I will wait for You.  

In Jesus' name,


Amen

Saturday, December 6, 2014

Unhealthy situation

Dear Heavenly Father,

I am feeling better but I am in an emotionally and mentally unhealthy situation.  I wish that my brother and his wife would move out of the house.  The tension is subtle but it is still here.  I am not at peace.  I have grown tired of walking on eggshells and I am not always happy here.  I don't know what to do or what to say.  All I know is that things need to change, but it isn't just me.  It is all of us, but how do I go about changing?  I need help.  I need You, Lord.  Help me.

Sincerely,


Letters to God

Friday, December 5, 2014

Patience, and waiting

Lord,

Thank You for the patience You have given me.  I will wait on You.  Thank You for the desires of my heart that You have given me.  Thank You for all, including the forgiveness of my sins.

In Jesus' name,


Amen

Thursday, December 4, 2014

A Good Day

Dear Heavenly Father,

Thank You for a good day.  You have ordered my steps.  My mind is clear and has been for maybe the first time in a long time.  I am thankful for the many blessings that I have.  You are the One and Only.  Thank You.

In Jesus' name,


Amen

Wednesday, December 3, 2014

Monday, December 1, 2014

Forging ahead spiritually...Merry Christmas

Dear Heavenly Father,

Forgive me for not writing to You for the past few days.  I look forward to Christmas, but maybe I should slow down first.  Just like the rest of the year, it is a one time event where time goes by fast. I do wonder how You feel about us humans celebrate Christmas.  Right now I am in a period where I wish that some things would just go away.  Christmas is that time.  I feel like I have no cares in the world this season.  That has been the case every holiday season. I guess because I get distracted.  I still get interested or rather caught up in what really ails me.  I would like to mentally tell the difference between what is real and what is not.  I have gotten so caught up in the world that I feel so far from You at times.  Help me to think on what is real and forever.  This is temporary and will go away.  Heaven and Hell are realities.  That is what I need focusing on.  I ask for a closer walk with You.  I thank You that my prayer has been answered.

Sincerely,


In Jesus' name,


Amen

Thursday, November 27, 2014

Thank You, Lord

Father,

Today was a day of Thanksgiving.  I realize that I have much to be thankful for.  Thank You for just being You.

In the name of Jesus,

Amen

Wednesday, November 26, 2014

Give me You

Lord Jesus,

Thank You for producing a change in me.  My eyes have been opened. Give me the wisdom, and guidance that I am so in need of.  I have lost the desire to lose weight.  Show me what I need to know.  Help me to see that all of my actions have consequences, both good and bad.  I have been truly honest for a long time now now but what I needed was a change not only in my habits but in my mindset.  I know what to do and how to do it, but because I fail to do so, I have lost that desire.  I realize that a change or changes is/are in order.  I believe and feel like I am lazy, weak person.  I am here to write to You how I feel.  I have been overwhelmed and I don't know how to overcome being overwhelmed. There is something that I have to deal with.  I need to relax.  I feel like I need to start all over again instead of just starting from point A to point B.  It has done me no good to just start over and then do the same thing.  Lord, help me with my weaknesses.  Thank You for answering this prayers.

In Your name,

Amen

Tuesday, November 25, 2014

In Jesus' name

Lord,

I have lost my desire to do anything about everything.  Maybe I am just depressed.  I would like to change, but I don't know how.  I am overwhelmed and now I could use all of the support I can get.  I need financial, psychological, and emotional help.  I ask You for wisdom and clarity.  I just need You.

In Jesus' name,

Amen

Monday, November 24, 2014

Where is my desire?

Lord,

Give me the desire to be healthy and lose weight.  I am very heavy set.  In fact, I am considered obese.  I am obese.  I have difficulty doing things others take for granted.  Lord, I want to lose weight because I need to.  However, I have no desire to do so.  I need help.  One bite is a step closer to being unhealthy.  I am down and I am depressed.  Maybe that is what is wrong with me.  Help me.  I cast this care over to You.  Thank You that You have already answered my prayer.


Sincerely,  In Jesus' Name,


Amen

Friday, November 21, 2014

The issues of weight and health

Lord Jesus,

Thank You for Your healing touch.  I feel as if despite what my doctor says, my diabetes problem has gotten worse.  I know it is up to me to take charge, but how do I begin?  Where do I begin?  There are times when I have no desire to lose weight, but now I do.  I have lost my way and now I don't understand or realize how serious this really is.  I am in need of wisdom and guidance.  I am not losing wealth because I need to put on a wedding dress, I am not losing those last 5 or 10 pounds, nor am I doing this to find a man or a job.  I am doing this for my health and I have grown tired of the hurt feet, bad back, and the self-consciousness.  I compare myself to others and I am not happy with my appearance.  I have gotten used to being overweight.  I am now realize that I am in denial.  I am growing tired of the "status quo" so to speak.

There are times when I am inspired to lose weight only to feel helpless.  Another reason why I wish to lose weight is that I have also grown tired of feeling like I have had made little to no progress, which is true.  What happened at the diabetes center was a wake up call.  I have been going in circles only to give up.  It is a cycle that I wish to break.  I cannot afford to stay in that cycle until something worse happens.  I am not sure what to ask You.  All I want is for the desire to lose weight.

Give me the strength and motivation to lose weight.  What is a healthy lifestyle?  What does that really mean?  It is a great alternative from dieting because I have gone on diet after diet.  I wonder now if weight loss surgery is a great idea since I am going to a seminar this upcoming month.  Losing weight and trying to lose weight is hard work and I wish that I can make it easier, but I am not sure that is even possible.  All I want is to lose weight and keep it off, whether it is by eating well and exercising, or surgery.

Show me which route I need to take for I am taking it seriously.  Give me not only the motivation and strength, but the skills I need to lose weight. Should I have the lapband surgery and go through everything that goes with the lapband surgery such as the diet and seminars and the consultation before the surgery.?  Should I continue to go at it alone?Should I save money to buy food that is packaged? Where should the support come from as I need all of the support that I can get?  I am fat and it is not the worst thing in the world.  I am also frustrated at 40.  While I have embraced my age, I am still frustrated because of my failures.  Help me, Lord and give me wisdom.  Thank You for Your answer or answers.  What should I do?

In Jesus' name,


Amen

Wednesday, November 19, 2014

Letting go

Heavenly Father,

I am the only one who seems to feel this pain.  I realize that this morning that I have been unforgiving, angry, and resentful.  I often wish that I wasn't so stuck.  I feel like life has passed me by.  I wonder if because of my age, is it too late.  I had so many plans that did not come to fruition.  I wanted to go to graduate school, but that never materialized.  I wish I could remember I wanted to do. But the real reason I feel the way I do is because I have yet to truly forgive myself.  I have to let go of the anger, bitterness, and resentment that I feel right now.  I was and still am a truly unhappy person. Father, forgive me.  I have decided to let go of the anger, resentment,and bitterness that I have had for years. I ask for your forgiveness and I would like to be a happier, more well adjusted person.  I feel like that from this day forward, a fresh start is possible.  That is also what I want and need.  Thank You for helping me to understand what I truly need and for convicting me of my sins.


In Jesus' name,

Amen

Monday, November 17, 2014

Thank You so much for loving me



Thank You for knowing all about me.  Thank You for all that You have done for me.  I thank You very much.  I believe that is exactly what You would say to all of us.  I thank You that I am not immune.  I thank You for being Savior and Lord.  I thank You for answered prayers.  I give thanks to You and You alone.

Sunday, November 16, 2014

Being thankful to Jesus

Dear Jesus,

Thank You for saving me.  I have seen that there is a lot that I need to repent of.  I know that as long as I have an imperfect body, that I will never be perfect.  I have, like everybody else, have sinned. But I will not lie and say that I have no sin in me, for I will have to deal with much temptation in this world.  I am not sure when You will return, but I hope to continually be watchful and count myself worthy of Your return.  I want to be ready.  I want to be strong and be holy.  I want to be born-again. I want to be convicted.  Most of all, I want to be like You, which are strong and holy.  Convict me of all of my sins.  Search my heart.  What are the sins that I have not repented of?  Change me mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.  I believe that while I believe I am a different person than I was a while ago, I am still a sinner who has a long way to go.  I will not sin and continue to sin for that is not the Christian thing to do.  I have struggled with sin and I am thankful that with You, all is possible since I no longer have that desire to commit that sin.  Thank You, for all of Your love, guidance, grace, mercy, and support.  Most of all, I thank You that You are the Example that I wish to follow.

In Your Name,


Amen

Saturday, November 15, 2014

My positive post

Dear Heavenly Father,

Thank You for the day I had today.  I wasn't sure at the time what I was going to say but no matter what the issues were, my eyes were opened.  This may be the most positive entry for a while.  Thank You for all that You have done for me.  I believe and know that You have an answer anyways.  I am sorry for putting limits on You in terms of how You will answer my prayers  Thank You no matter what.  I have counted it all joy and now I am beginning to understand what it means.  I give You thanks and I give You praise.

In Jesus' Name,


Amen

Wednesday, November 12, 2014

Holiness

Dear Heavenly Father,

Help me to not just be healthy spiritually, but also also spiritually.  My desire is to be holy.  I realize the Christian life is not the easiest life.  It is worth it.  Help me to be patient and long suffering.  Help me to follow the example of Jesus Christ.  Thank You for answering my prayer.

In Your name,

Amen

Monday, November 10, 2014

Telling God how I really feel in terms of my weight.

Dear Heavenly Father,

Help me.  I need help and You are the only One I can turn to.I need help.  I consume a poor diet and I don't know how to eat healthy or eat in moderation.  I want to lose weight but sadly I no set goals in mind.  I have an idea but I am not sure if I could set my mind to it.  That is the problem; I need help in setting my mind to it.  As You know, I procrastinate and I believe that that is why.  I am not sure if I can do this all by myself.  I am not doing as well as I would like to have done.  I need help with a lot of things as I am stressed out.  I am not making much progress yet I am happy with even one pound of weight loss.

I take advantage of my weight loss and eat poorly. That is what I have done for the past few days.  I would like to change but I don't know.  I would like to be able to lose weight and I have become more stressed out.  There are things that are hard for me to do.  There are clothes that I would like to wear, and my health needs to improve.  I know I need to lose weight.  What is so sad is that I had no desire but now I do.  I need Your wisdom and guidance.  I have prayed over the years to lose weight but I only made some progress only to have my weight go up and down.

 I am not sure if I sabotage myself, but I have given up on losing weight.  I am living my fears and I wish sometimes that I was smaller now.  I keep saying it is a lesson, but it doesn't help me.  I wish I weighed much less than I am now and I feel guilty for gaining so much weight over the years.  I really have no clue. I really, really need Your help.  I am also self-conscious about my body and I have difficulty seeing myself as You see me.  I don't wish and don't hide.  I want to be healthy and just get out there but I know I am holding myself back and I take full responsibility of my actions, or lack thereof.  I have grown tired of talking about my weight in my counseling session and I wish I could talk about something else.

I know I need to take better care of myself but to be honest, I don't know how or where to begin.  I thank You that I am finally, finally unashamed to write or "tell" You how I feel.  I want and desire to make progress.  But am I doing this because of someone else or am I doing this for myself?  I was told that I have not made the progress that I should have made over the years.  It is true that I don't wish to be seen as non-compliant, so I called today to ask for help.  I really need help and I really need counsel when it comes to diet and exercise.  When it comes to these things, I have not taken care of myself I admit and I feel I am proving this someone right.  I need to do this for me and me alone, not anyone else.  I really need immediate assistance and immediate help in this manner.  Help me, Lord.  Help me.

In Jesus' name,


Amen

Saturday, November 8, 2014

Faith and Escape

Dear Lord,

I am so sorry for lacking in faith sometimes.  Life's problems can get in the way sometimes.  I admit that I can get buried in them, meaning I am overwhelmed.  I thank You that Your word says that You provide a way of escape when we are tempted.  That should have told me something right there.  I believe it means that no matter how difficult life is or can be, You are there, just like in Footprints. Thank You.

Sincerely,


Letters to God

Friday, November 7, 2014

Answered prayers

Dear Heavenly Father,

You have answered my prayers.  You are most definitely an all-time God.  Yes You are, to quote Dottie Peoples.  I was concerned about an important matter and nothing is too hard for You, and for that, I am grateful.  Thank You for caring about my cares and concerns.  I believe with all of my heart that with You, all is possible.  You are the One who has counseled and taken care of me all along. Thank You.

Sincerely,


Letters to God

Tuesday, November 4, 2014

OCD about television

Dear Jesus,

Thank You for giving me the opportunity to present my requests to You.  I feel better but I realize that I make the little things in life too important.  I also realize that it is because of the OCD.  I am obsessed with what I watch and what I avoid on television.  It sounds silly but that is what is going on.  I wish that I didn't have OCD, but it is not as manageable as I thought it would be.  I am worried about this one.  What is wholesome and what is not wholesome?  I want to make a decision because it is the Christian decision or the right thing to do?  I don't want to make a decision based on what the OCD says because it is safe.  That is what I have been doing.  I wonder if the little things in life are big to You.

In Your name,

Amen

Monday, November 3, 2014

Writing to God how i feel

Dear Heavenly Father,

I am guilt-ridden and anxious.  That is the source of my prayers.  I love You no doubt but I am always saying negative things about myself and I am so guilty of so much.  I am here to write how I feel.  I don't think that I have grown spiritually, mentally, physically, or emotional.  I believe that for the past few years, my growth has been stunted.  I brought it on myself.  I have no idea what plans You have for me.  I only am here when I need You and while I do need You still, I realize that my relationship with You hasn't been strong.

I feel as if I am lying to myself and to You.  I would like to thank You for all You have done for me.  I am not sure who I am in any way, shape, or form.  I am not always sure how my prayers have been answered until the prayer has been answered.  I realize that there are no coincidences or accidents with You.  I believe little miracles happen everyday. Music plays in my mind or in my ears especially when I wake up in the morning or at least just before.  I wonder sometimes if it is You or if it is just me.  I want to show You how much I truly love You, but I know and realize that some of my actions say other things.

I don't trust myself or my motives or my words.  I can only imagine how You are feeling.  I feel like sometimes I take advantage of You and Your forgiveness.  I don't understand what repentance is all about, especially with certain sins.  I am in need of help and guidance.  It sounds as if I am so far away from You yet at the same time You are so close to me and to me it makes sense.  I have no clue about having a real relationship with You as it seems.  It is my fault.  I don't always pray or read Your word.  I have grown spiritually and physically and emotionally lazy.  I have gained weight which have caused me health problems that I never had before.  I have become more self-conscious now than I ever had before in my life.  I am not happy with my appearance and I wish I were.  I feel like my stomach has "ruined" my body.  I have difficulty doing what I think is hard.

I believe and I thank You that I believe that nothing is hard with You.  I wish sometimes that I have no anxiety or obsessive thoughts.  I wish I were better with money.  I wish that I were healthier.  I wish quite a few things.  I believe in what the Bible says but sometimes I have difficulty in applying Your word at least to my situation.  I don't even know who the true and who the false prophets are.  I am not a good at discerning truth from falsehood.  I look forward to Your return but I think that I have not done a good job getting ready for Jesus' return.

I become scared and nervous about almost everything, especially spiritual matters.  I am clueless about spiritual matters.  I have so much to write about it seems, but I am just writing about how I am feeling.  I am not living the way You would like for me, a person who looks forward to Your return to live.  I want to change because that is my need and desire.  I do want to live in the New Jerusalem and be a part of Your Bride no doubt but in my current state, I am not ready.  I don't think I am a wise virgin.  I care much about an answered prayer but I have doubts about my motives.  I feel alone yet I just don't trust myself.  I need help.  I need guidance.  I need wisdom.  I want to and live a wholesome life, but because of You, not because of me.  I don't trust me and sometimes I don't like me, but I like You.  In fact, I love and honor You.  Thank You for giving me the opportunity to write this letter about how I really feel.  I want and need Your help.  I want to be real with real motives with a real relationship with a real mindset.  All I ask are wisdom, guidance, and a sense of direction.

In Jesus' name,


Amen

Sunday, November 2, 2014

Thank You, Lord

Dear Heavenly Father,

Thank You so very much for what You have done for me.  You have taken away my fears and my anxieties.  I ask for the courage to confront whatever needs confronting.  Thank You for strengthening my faith and giving me the courage to stand on my own two feet.  I am so glad to have told You how I felt.  Thank You for answering my prayers.

In Jesus' name,


Amen

Friday, October 31, 2014

Reality sometimes s*(k

Dear God,

I would like to be more independent.  I tire of being discouraged.  Sometimes reality is great.  On the other hand, I wish I could escape reality and the reasons for the circumstances.  I know that there are others who are suffering from worse circumstances.  I am thinking a hungry child who is crying.  I pray for children and adults who are starving.  Lord, feed them not just with food, but with Your Word.  May I not forget those who are greater in need than I.  I often do forget that others are in need. They have no Jesus, no love, no family, no homes, or incomes.  Help me to see that while it is nice to have created a fantasy world, it doesn't change reality.  I just wish it did.  I could use a miracle right about now.


Sincerely,


Letters to God

Thursday, October 30, 2014

Change me

Dear Jesus,

Forgive me.  Convict me of all of my sins.  I am sorry for what I have done wrong.  I am in need of You right now.  I feel like being real is not good.  I am down.  I have grown tired of walking on eggshells.  I tire of being stepped over and made to look bad afterwards.  I want to get over things, but I cannot.  I am a sensitive person, maybe too sensitive.  I am tired, Lord.  I know that there is more to life as it is.  Show me that there is.

In Your name, Jesus

Amen

Wednesday, October 29, 2014

Progress

Dear God,

Help me to realize that there is progress that there is progress I got to make myself.  I also realize that being considered less than compliant is not encouraging.  Last weekend was a wake-up call.  I feel that my diabetes symptoms have worsened.  This has worried me a bit.  I don't want the diabetes symptoms to worsen.  I want to get better but I realize there is some work that I have to do myself. I ask You for guidance so that I can apply what I have learned to my daily life.  Life is just too short to be sick or to worry.  Thank You for answering my prayer.

Sincerely,


Letters to God

Monday, October 27, 2014

Progress not made

Dear Jesus,

Help me.  Most of my other blogs are really about complaints about things that I need, want, and desire to change.  This is true for this blog as well.  I ask You for guidance and a sense of direction. I know that I have to have a good mindset and all but I don't know what I am doing.  The advice is simple, but I have some things that are holding me back.  I am in need of help.  What is really holding me back?  I would like to break the weight loss cycle.  Over the past two months, little has changed. I am proving others right, but not that I can't do it, but I am frustrating them.  There is no pleasure in this because I have no set goals to eat healthy, nor do I have set goals to lose the weight.  I need help. God, help me.

In Your name, Jesus,

Amen

Sunday, October 26, 2014

Something is wrong with me

Dear Heavenly Father,

I feel so alone and unworthy.  What is so wrong with me?  I am just tired of the daily "grind".  I hate my life.  Sometimes, I wonder if it is my fault if I am discouraged.  The truth is, that is what I am.  I need help.  I don't know what else to do or even to say.  I am sorry, Lord.  I feel like I made no progress in life.  I have gone in circles.  That is something that I would like to get out of.  Help me to think on those things that are eternal.  All I do is think on the temporal because I live in a fantasy world and I cannot get out of it.  I realize how crazy it is and how crazy I think I am.  I sometimes have difficulty distinguishing the fake and fantasy from the real world.  I need You.  I am in want of Your love.

I realize that nothing is too hard for You, but it seems too hard for me.  Help me to make life more manageable.  However, that is too limiting and too small.  Help me to do something that is hard and that is to be healed, forgiven, think on the eternal, and  make progress in every area of my life.  I am just cautious of making a mistake and I would like to change that.  I don't know what more needs to change.  The truth is, I don't know how to change and that is what I need to work on.  I am discouraged; I need encouragement and an increase in my faith.

I know something is wrong with me.  Lord, my point is that I could use a miracle.  I need a miracle.  I feel like I am lazy and lack wisdom.  That is something that I am being kind about.  I do have low self-esteem and I am self-conscious and I feel I cannot change those things.  However, I want to know that anything is possible.  It is about change.  I just don't know what to do anymore.

Sincerely,


Letters to God


Friday, October 24, 2014

To You, O God

God,

I cannot take it anymore.  Help me.

Sincerely,


Letters to God

Thursday, October 23, 2014

My health journey

Lord,

Give me the strength and motivation to lose weight.  I have every reason to want to lose weight.  I am just concerned that I don't have the heart to lose weight.  I also want to lose weight with the right motives.  I am not happy with myself and I don't wish to gain any weight either.  I know of the pitfalls of gaining weight.  I also know the pitfalls of losing weight.  I thank You in advance for answering this prayer and for guiding me in my life's journey and for showing me what I need to do.

In Jesus' name,

Amen

Wednesday, October 22, 2014

I need help

Heavenly Father,

I have no motivation or desire to lose weight.  I feel like something is wrong with me.  I have been overwhelmed with this, that, and other.  Maybe that is the problem.  Take my burdens, Lord.  I ask that You would lighten my load for I am heavy laden.  I also ask that You would give me rest.  I feel like that I have made little to no progress period, not just my health.  My life is full of frustration. Am I what, or rather who, is holding me back?  I cannot pinpoint what is going on with me. I feel like I am missing the mark.  I at times feel alone and am in need of a support system.

 I am just overwhelmed, period.  I have anxiety and , weight and health issues, psychological and emotional issues, self-esteem issues, and I am self-conscious about my appearance.  I know that there are many others around the world who are more isolated than I am.  They are sick, dying, have no one to love them, have nothing to call their own, have no real direction in life, and other social ills.

They have bigger crosses to bear.  I feel so guilty and self-centered because I don't always think about those who have those crosses to bear.  The reason is I am so caught up and isolated and I would like some help too.  Not only do I ask for lightening of burdens and rest for our souls, but also wisdom and strength. Forgive us of our sins, Father.

I too am in need of You for I am weary and tire of the things of the world.  I would like to be motivated to lose weight, healed of my illnesses, and overcome my fears and anxieties.  Those are the things that I need and I ask that would provide those needs and also help me see things from Your perspective.  I am grateful for what I have.  Sometimes I don't always see things that way.  I would like Your forgiveness, cleansing, and answers.  I need help, too.  I am asking that You, Heavenly Father would help me as well.

In Jesus' name,


Thank You,

Amen

Tuesday, October 21, 2014

I would like to make progress

Lord,

I would like to make progress but I don't know how.  I am going at it alone and I have little support. However, the few support that I have reminds me in one way in another that I am either progressing little or not at all.  I am overwhelmed and tired of the same thing over and over.  I have a perfectionist complex where if I can't do it right then I give up easily.  Deep down, I may actually a self-saboteur with low self esteem.  I know that for sure that I am conscious of my appearance.  My health is a main concern of mine and I ask for clarity.  Give me clarity and peace of mind.  I so need them both. I have been overwhelmed.  I have many issues that I have to overcome.  Because of my age, I am concerned that my metabolism may slow down.  I am not sure if that is the case, but I care what others think to the point where I have so little knowledge of myself.  I felt like giving up and I believe that it is due to the low self esteem.  I just sometimes believe that I could do it because it is so hard.

Everything I see is so negative.  One minute I think it is easy then the next minute I feel unproductive.  I have little to no faith in myself.  I have faith, however, in You.  I need wisdom and guidance.  Help me to be more productive.  Show me how to apply what I have learned to my own situation.  I don't like the idea of being told the same thing over and over again, anywhere I go.  I love food, but that isn't the problem.  My issues are psychological and emotional.  I didn't realize that they would be emotional, but they are.  I do have psychological and emotional issues and I have not done as good a job of taking better care of my health as I should.  I don't know what to do.  I am frustrated. That is why I turn to You.  Help me get better.  Help me to progress.  Help me to make a mistake for I am human.  I don't like the idea of making a mistake or failure, but all of  us do.  None of us are immune.  I would like to have a fresh perspective on my health issues and how I live my life in general.  Lord, I need Your help.

Sincerely,


Letters to God

Sunday, October 19, 2014

Encouragement

Lord Jesus,

Thank You for giving me love, grace, and mercy.  I was discouraged today.  I am still having those issues, but they have since lessened.  For the past few days, I have been anxious and living in a fantasy world.  Open my eyes so that I may see why or what the roots of my problems are.  I have an idea, but what are they and when did they start?  I had difficulty planning and make plans.  I also had difficulty following those plans.  That is also a reason for discouragement.  What are the roots of my discouragement and my social problems?  Those are the things that concern me.  Thank You for answering my prayers.

In Your name,

Amen

Saturday, October 18, 2014

Pouring my heart out to the Lord

Dear Heavenly Father,

I pour my heart out to You.  I am not afraid of other people per se, but I am afraid of what they may do to me.  I am not sure if it is the anxiety or if it is the low self-esteem.  However, it could be both.  I am not a strong, happy, wise person and I ask You for wisdom.  I feel like a failure at life without a sense of direction.  No matter how happy or joyful I try to be, it is overridden by the anxiety and fear.

I have cared so much what others think and have been so anxious when it comes to the real world. That is why I am in a fantasy world.  Am I really as shy as I think?  I even had obsessive thoughts about being bulled and not being strong enough to stand up for myself.  They are no longer bothersome or exist, but at the same time, I do have passing thoughts.  I live in a fantasy world for that reason.  Today I know of the pitfalls of living in a fantasy world.

The fantasy world has become a solace for the real world.  I was hoping that I would grow out of it.  I was hoping that I would learn to embrace life and reality in general like I have embraced my age. Maybe I am focusing on my age a bit too much.  I guess it is more of an issue than I would like for it to be.  My guess is also that I have a load of issues that I have failed to address.

What are the real root causes of my issues?  Why am I so fearful and so anxious?  Why do I need to live in a fantasy world at 40 years old?  The truth is, I would grow out of things like I did out of wrestling for the most part.  Sure I watch it every now and then and even contribute to wrestling threads on Facebook.  But I have grown out of watching it.  I would love nothing more than to grow out of my fantasy world and into reality.  That would be very nice.  But most of all, I would like to grown out of being fearful and anxious.  That would be even nicer.

Sincerely,


Letters to God

Friday, October 17, 2014

Changing myself and my life

Dear Heavenly Father,

It is time for me to think about my eternal destination.  I am not sure where I stand.  My identity is unsure.  In other words, I don't know who I am in Jesus Christ.  I don't feel good about being stuck in my fantasy world.  That world shields me from whatever problems are in the real world.  It helps me to cope with anxiety.  I realize that deep down that others, including myself, may think that I am crazy.  I am a shy person in reality, so it is hard for me to express myself.  I am also bored.  That is why I would like to do more for myself.  As You can see, I am not sure about a lot of things.

I am also worried that maybe just maybe that I have nothing to show for it in reality.  Nothing has changed.  I don't know how to change.  I need Your help.  I would like to do more for myself and not fall asleep all day.  That is for animals, sick people, and older people.  I write this at the risk of being rude.  I am too young to not accomplish things and not have a social life.  I am too old to stay stuck in a daily rut.  I have gotten too used to this life. I have taken life for granted.  I need help.

I am at the computer writing this because sitting at the computer and listening to music provides solace for me.  I have proven others right.  I am lazy, without direction, and proper understanding of the world around me.  I don't go to school.  I don't work anywhere.  I have looked for jobs in the past.  My skills are lacking because it has been over a decade since I have done something.  I am not a happy person.  I am worried about myself and my soul.  What should I do now and where will I be headed if You were to come back today?  Right now, I have no idea.  I need guidance, but I feel like I am invisible and that You won't answer.  Will an answer be on its way?  I prayed about this and I feel like I will end up the way I am.  I will always be stuck.  I hate my life.  I just don't my life.  That is why I have a fantasy world and I am happy to live in it.  I don't wish to feel this way.

I am self-centered and isolated.  I just don't like some people, including myself.  I would like a true friend.  I would like a job.  I would like and wish a lot of things.  That doesn't mean that those things will come true.  I have prayed the same prayers over and over again.  I would like to change my situation, but I wouldn't know where to begin.  The problem is low self-esteem and no transportation. I don't know how to drive.  Because of this, I feel like I am far behind.  I have gotten complacent in being isolated and living in a fantasy world.

I hate my existence.  What is it like to like oneself?  I don't always feel that way.  What is it like to drive a car?  What is it like to go to church or somewhere else and get to meet people?  I sometimes feel that no one cares about me or my opinions.  I don't feel like a smart person because I have proven not to be a strong person.  I am not a strong person.  I am unhappy.  I have issues with being happy.  I am lonely.  I need You, Lord.  I have always wanted an answer.  I want You to hear me.  I understand that You have plans for me that are without limit and greater than what I wish.  I wish that You would guide me and make me wise.  Lord, I want to live in an existence where I can handle reality.  I can handle reality and not be anxious.  I have gotten used to this existence like it is right now.  That is nice.  That is all I would want.  Money would be nice for finances have been an issue.  I would like to just have the strength to move forward.  I would like to exercise effectively, eat a proper diet, have strength of mindset and character.  I would also like to have a life.

I am tired of the thoughts about how I am lazy.  I hate being fixated on being fat.  I would like to be praiseworthy and more thankful.  I seems like that this is too much to ask, but I keep hearing and reading that there is nothing that is too hard for You.  How is this possible?  I wish it were possible for me.  If I could make a change, I could change my world and change my self existence. That would be my dreamed for existence.  I would be a happier person.

Sincerely,


Letters to God

Thursday, October 16, 2014

Reality v Fantasy

Dear Heavenly Father,

Help me get back to reality.  I am not sure, but does a fantasy world part of the obsessive compulsive disorder.  I admit that I do get pleasure from living in a fantasy world where there are fewer anxieties. It is rather strange what my fantasy is and who it is about.  The person is sadly in the great beyond and hopefully in Heaven.  I will never get to know him or to meet him, which is sad.  Seeing his grave is quite sobering to say the least.  He died young and he seemed to have so much to offer.  The fantasies give me comfort from the modern world.  I wish I could live in reality, but reality was hard. Freedom was even harder.  I wish that I was free from the anxiety that comes with the OCD and from the fantasy world.  However, the fantasy shields me from all of the pain of the anxiety.  It tends to answer the questions that I have about life and people in general.  To my great shame, I have done nothing to follow You and for that, I am sorry.  I wish I could take those last two days back.  Being free left me anxious and unable to cope.  I wish I were able to cope, but I didn't have enough strength to do so.  I felt quite weak and still do.  How do I walk in the freedom that I once had?  How do I do that?  How do I overcome the OCD, anxiety, and the fantasy world that doesn't exist in the real world?  I need Your help and Your repentance and also Your guidance.

Sincerely,


Letters to God

Sunday, October 12, 2014

I am so sorry

Lord,

I am so sorry.  You have cleared up my mind.  I more than anything want to be a committed as well as a converted Christian.  May I not forget to ask You the questions that I need to ask.  I feel like I have fallen back.  It is quite easy for that to happen.  Help me and give me strength to stand in the midst of trials and tribulations.  Give me understanding on what it means to count it all joy during the times.  I have slipped up a lot and I have made poor choices, but I would like to say that I am sorry for those choices I have made.  I ask for Your forgiveness of all of my sins.  Cleanse me from not my sins but also my secret faults.  Your word said to go and sin no more.  May I produce good fruit and may I sin no more.  I do desire holiness and righteousness.  Help me and guide me so that I will live and breathe in holiness and righteousness.  In fact, I realize that though You forgive, You are also long suffering. Remind me further to keep that in mind.  I know and realize that works justify my faith and that one Day You will judge us all, including myself.  Further remind me of this for I want nothing than to look forward to Your return and endure to the end.  Whatever I did or did not fail to do, I did those things not for myself but also for You.  Thank You for giving me the opportunity to present my request but for loving me and believing in me.  Thank You for saving me.


In Jesus' name,


Amen

Saturday, October 11, 2014

Help me with the avoidance part of the OCD

Dear Heavenly Father,

I need help.  I need help with avoidance.  It has been hard to overcome avoidance, but not everything else.  I am working hard to overcoming my obsessive thoughts, images, and compulsions.  I ask that the images go away as well as the compulsions and obsessive thoughts.  Give me the strength and courage to overcome anxiety and all that goes along with having obsessive compulsive disorder.  I just wish I could break the cycle alone but I know I cannot.  I need help period.  I turn things over to You and I thank You for all that You are doing and have done to me.

In Jesus' name,


Amen

Friday, October 10, 2014

Today's lesson

Dear Heavenly Father,

Today so far was a good day.  I realize that there is a lot that I had to learn about my health and about myself.  I believe that everyday is a miracle.  I guess the saying goes, I do learn something new everyday.  I have to learn to love, honor, cherish, and respect myself.  That is really what self-esteem mean.  It means to have respect for myself and to take care of myself.  I don't always think of myself as beautiful despite what Your word says.  I realize that with age comes wisdom and that little miracles do indeed happen everyday.  That is a lot to take in, but the truth is, the truth has always been something that I take in, whether or not it is painful.  Thank You that that is the lesson I have learned today.  I ask that You would remind me continually of those learned lessons.

Sincerely,


Letters to God

Thursday, October 9, 2014

I trust You

Dear Heavenly Father,

My counselor is a Godsend.  She was and still is, right.  Today I have been eating what is available or in sight.  I ate an abundance of unhealthy fare and I have failed in consuming foods that are good for me.  You have been good to me and You answer prayer.  All I had to do was to trust You and I did. Thank You.  I trust that You will help me to apply those truths that I already know to me.  No one else can do it for me.  I have no excuses.  I have health issues and I don't always think of those health issues.  Remind me, O Lord, of those health issues daily.  Continue to strengthen my faith and give me wisdom, that I will change my mind and my heart towards You for trust and that I will receive and follow the guidance I so need to get healthy. I admit that I have no real goals in mind except to consume no more than approximately 1800 calories per day.  I have tried to be exact or rather rigid, but I don't wish to be rigid or perfectionist.  Change me and my way of thinking.  Guide me into all truth and allow those truths that I know to sink in.  I thank You in advance for answering this prayer.

In Jesus' name,


Amen

Wednesday, October 8, 2014

Being glad and grateful

Heavenly Father,

Thank You for giving me the peace of mind that I so needed.  I thank You that nothing is hard with You.  Help me to do what is hard and for that, I am thankful.  It is always good to have a heart of gladness and gratefulness.  I realize that today.  Help me to see that gladness and gratefulness matter.
Thank You,

Sincerely,


Letters to God

Tuesday, October 7, 2014

I want to move on from the obsessions and compulsions

Dear God,

I have grown tired.  I realize that I have to do what is hard which is confront my fears and be anxious. I know it contradicts not being anxious for nothing but strangely enough I feel better.  I realize that I am apprehensive about new thoughts coming along.  I am scared.  Help me face that fear as well. With Your help, I know now that I will be okay.  Checking and asking for reassurance has been, and still is, a waste of time and energy.  I am not sure if my dreams help or harm, especially based on fictional stories but I guess making up my own stories have been somewhat helpful.  I don't wish to have these thoughts and be tempted by them.  However, I realize that temptation is a part of the Christian life.  Give me the strength that I so need to overcome temptation.

Help me to use common sense to overcome the temptation that I will go through to perform the compulsions and checking based on what I read.  For instance, if a woman does cheat, common sense would tell me that she did wrong because infidelity is a cowardly, selfish act.  They don't deserve abuse, or death for their deeds.  Yet the truth is, I will never know why people cheat and I have grown tired of the compulsions and the obsessive thoughts.  I would like to get better and overcome these thoughts.  I need the wisdom, strength, and guidance to do those things and I ask for a generous amount of all things.  Sometimes it involves waking up, dreams, and being anxious and uncertain.  I also have to deal with uncertainty. For instance, I will never know why I have these thoughts.  Maybe it is for the best.  I guess it doesn't matter that I will never know.  Lord, I ask You for Your wisdom in my life.  I leave everything in Your hands, and I thank You that You are greater than my obsessive thoughts and compulsions.

Sincerely,


Letters to God


Sunday, October 5, 2014

Change me

 Dear Jesus,

Thank You for changing me.  You have made me a creation in Christ.  I really appreciate it.

In Your name, Jesus

Amen

Saturday, October 4, 2014

Thank You for everything

Dear Lord,

Thank You for the miracles in my life.  Thank You that I am no longer off course.  Life has become bearable once again.  I cast all of my cares and anxieties to You.  I thank You that You care for and love me.  I needed You and You were there.  Thank You for giving me peace of mind because You know of my anxiety.  I couldn't bear it any longer.  Having obsessive thoughts and checking and compulsions have not been easy.  Thank You for setting me free from that.  I realize that fiction is not real, but You are.  Thank You for answering my prayers.

In Jesus' name,

Amen

Thursday, October 2, 2014

Thrown off course

Dear God,

Help me not to eat unhealthy and not in moderation,.  My diet has gotten poor again and I have been thrown off course due to the fact that I have been manic and also down about the obsessive compulsive disorder.  I know I still look forward to Your return but I feel a disconnect from You.  It has been tough these past few weeks.  My faith has not been strong.  However, I would like a closer walk with You.  Give me the wisdom to know the difference between having little faith and having no faith.  Give me a sense of identity since there have been times where I don't know who I am.  Help me, Lord.  Help me to draw closer to You.


Sincerely,


Letters to God

Wednesday, October 1, 2014

Energized yet still in wonderment

Dear Heavenly Father,

Thank You.  I am feeling so much better and more energized.  Turning 40 has done me a world of good.  I am just wondering if I should just agree with the thoughts and let it go.  Is that how I embrace those thoughts?  Show me how to apply what I have learned, read, and struggled through to my daily life, whether it is my weight or my thoughts.  I need Your wisdom and guidance on how to do things that will be and are, of beneficial to me.  I pray this in Jesus' name.

Amen

Tuesday, September 30, 2014

Frustrated with obsessive thoughts

Dear Heavenly Father,

Everything I do is based on an obsession.  I finally told my mother about my thoughts and I feel better.  I believe that I do way too much time wasting checking and not enough praying.  I have trouble getting closer to You.  I sometimes feel alone because I don't know how to accept or agree with these thoughts.  They are bothersome and I feel like I cannot take these obsessive thoughts anymore.  I have no clue what I am doing and I need Your forgiveness, increase in faith, and wisdom. I need Your help.  How do I apply what I have learned, read, and obsessed about to my life?  It has either had an effect on my emotions since I am here to write that that was before the Abilify.  I even acted out the bothersome thought, but I wonder if it is really something I should be doing.  Even someone's comments about the book or the movie bother me.  I feel like I am losing it.  I feel lonely sometimes because I cannot relate to anyone else who have these thoughts.  Does it matter why someone cheats on their spouse?  Does it even matter why I have these thoughts?  The truth is, I will never know.

Sincerely,


Letters to God

Monday, September 29, 2014

Psalm 149

Praise  ye the Lord. Sing unto the Lord a new song, and his praise in the congregation of saints. 2 Let Israel rejoice in him that made him: let the children of Zion be joyful in their King. 3 Let them praise his name in the dance: let them sing praises unto him with the timbrel and harp. 4 For the Lord taketh pleasure in his people: he will beautify the meek with salvation. 5 Let the saints be joyful in glory: let them sing aloud upon their beds.

6 Let the high praises of God be in their mouth, and a twoedged sword in their hand; 7 To execute vengeance upon the heathen, and punishments upon the people; 8 To bind their kings with chains, and their nobles with fetters of iron; 9 To execute upon them the judgment written: this honour have all his saints. Praise ye the Lord.

Saturday, September 27, 2014

My cares

Jesus,

You are Lord.  I am scared.  I am anxious.  I am worried.  I don't know how to confront my fears. How do I turn the cares of this life over to You?  I feel like I have had the cares of this life on my mind and on my shoulders.  It is strange because I don't know what to do.  I wonder if I relax my mind now, will the thoughts still come back.  Help me to see that I can and will be okay.  I ask for healing and I ask for Your forgiveness.  I feel like my anxiety is inescapable and that is a fear that I have.  I am worried that I will have to deal with a new thought over another fictional character.  I am alone in all of this.  Help me.  I just don't know what to do.

In Your name,

Amen

Friday, September 26, 2014

Obsessive thoughts over fictional characters

Dear Heavenly Father,

I am happy for everything You have done for me.  I know that it sounds so cliche but right now I am concerned for my mental and emotional health.  I am afraid that I will never overcome obsessive thoughts and images about this movie and the fictional characters in it.  I am worried because the characters and the people are fictional.  Since when has OCD ever been logical?  I am so concerned that I will never "get out of it" so to speak.  Could it be demonic as my mother said?  If so, how do I overcome the enemy's influence or annoyance for a lack of better terms over my mind?  I realize that the enemy can have an influence on one's thinking and even one's health.  Look at Job.  He lost everything, but then regained twice as much as what he had because of his faithfulness.  Maybe I should be more faithful.  I need Your strength at this time.

Sincerely,


Letters to God

Thursday, September 25, 2014

Sins that seem hard to forgive

Dear Heavenly Father,

Do I have a right to call You that after what I have done in the past couple of days?  I wish I had a good excuse, but I don't.  I have no excuse.  I can't blame it on the mania or on the obsessive thoughts.  I am in a vulnerable position right now, however.

I am wondering if I will have an obsessive thought about what I was looking at for the past couple of days.  I am scared that no matter if I am preparing myself to be ready I sabotage myself by going back to an old routine that includes things that are unhealthy.

I worry about that.  All I can say is that I am sorry for what I have done.  I have become distracted in the things of no real importance or substance.  I don't wish to give up at all as I am hopeful that this will soon shall pass.

Help me to trust You again as my faith is very, very small.  I am filled with anxiety and doubt.  I cannot even leave a fictional character alone.  The sad truth is that anything can trigger a thought, even though the thought in itself is useless.  I realize that I am scared and doubtful but I need help. Sure I am taking medication and going to a counselor, but I am still lonely and have few people to talk to.

I forgot to ask about group therapy.  I recall that I need people who can relate to me, but who can relate to an obsessive compulsive disorder sufferer whose obsession makes no sense.  I have crushes on married people, old people, and dead people.  What does all of this reveal about me?  I need a life of my own.  If I were to be healed tomorrow, then what?  What will I obsess about?  Who will I have a crush on?  How am I going to go about living my days?

Everything seems to bother me, especially right now.  I hate having these feelings.  I am lonely and worst of all alone.  Why do I have these specific thoughts since Obsessive Compulsive Disorder is so specific?  What does it have to be fictional characters?  Why can't it be about something else?  How about someone else?

I have come to realize that I need an increase in my faith.  I need help in getting rid of my doubt and I ask You for forgiveness.  All I can say is that I am sorry for what I have done, but I realize that everything seems like a compulsion and that my promises and prayers seem hollow.  Help.

Wednesday, September 24, 2014

Giving up?

Dear Heavenly Father,

I feel like quitting.  I am so sorry for my sins.  I really don't know what is wrong with me.  Hopefully it is not an example of the beginning of a midlife crisis.  I realize that time is short and I need to check myself and get ready, but I don't always think about that.  It is so silly that I don't.  I don't think that I am ready for Your return, Jesus.  I don't think that I have prepared myself because of my recent actions.  It is degrading to women especially.  I don't understand how a woman or a man can allow themselves to be demeaned like that.  On the other hand, why do I wish to degrade myself watching that?  I need Your wisdom.  I need time and a paying of attention to You.  Forgive me for what I have done and for what I have failed to do.  Right now, I am dealing with obsessive thoughts and the fear of what if I get healed only to wonder if I will stay healed.  I want to be healed but I have my doubts and my concerns such as I mention earlier.  What is really going on with me?  These past few days have been adventurous to say the least.  I realize that who I need is You.  Help me to get through this. I don't want to live like this forever.

In Jesus' name,


Amen

Tuesday, September 23, 2014

Thank You but I do wonder

Dear Heavenly Father,

All I have to say is Thank You.  I thank You that I have been feeling better.  I will never understand why I have the thoughts I have.  I also wonder if it should matter.  I confessed my ills today.  I feel so much better.  I am in a manic state.  You have answered my prayers and I thank You.  However, I have wondered what it will be like if I didn't have this disorder.  How will I cope?  I want to be healed of this disorder yet I wonder what will change.  I wonder quite a bit.  I am scared right now and I wish I was not.  I am feeling better but I have questions still.  When if I will never be free or what will happen once I am free?  I need help, Lord.  Help me to accept the things I cannot change and the wisdom to know the difference.

Thank You.

Sincerely,


Letters to God

Sunday, September 21, 2014

I feel like losing it at the moment

Dear Heavenly Father,

I admit that to You that I hate OCD today.  I feel like I am doing better but I feel like I am going to lose it.  I am now doing better but it has been hard.  Thank You for making it easier.  Last night You have done so much for me.  I have to see what is important in life and what is not important in life.  I was miserable today and I don't wish for anything or anyone make me miserable.  I want to be honest with You, myself, and with others.  I have been anxiety-ridden for years now and I cannot take it anymore.  I just need help.  I hate that I am this way.  I wish things were different.  I need Your help.

 I need more than just calming down, I need spiritual, physical, and emotional help.  I am just a wreck at times and life has been rough this past weekend.  I hate it and I wish I never had it.  Maybe the pleasure I derive from "research" is really a manic compulsion used to relieve my pain and my obsessions.  I just cannot take it anymore.  Lord, I need You right now for I am afraid.  Take this fear and this pain away from me.  I ask that You don't allow anything bad to happen to me and that I would stay strong.  Thank You for answering my prayers.

In Jesus' name,


Amen

Saturday, September 20, 2014

Honesty about the thoughts

Dear Lord,

Right now I feel like I am losing it.  All I could think about is a woman's infidelity or a movie containing infidelity.  I would like to say that I cannot take it anymore, but I can't.  I sadly do get pleasure out of this.  I don't want to, but it is true.  I wish I did not.  It is a waste of time and energy having obsessive compulsive disorder.  I know I sound like I am losing it, but maybe I am in a manic state of mind.  My compulsion has become like a drug to me and I am addicted.  This is not a good feeling to have.  I know I don't want to get out of this cycle, but I need to.  I love being honest with You and with myself.  It all seems crazy, but there are moments when I know I want to get better and there are moments when I don't.  It doesn't make any sense to me, but since did Obsessive Compulsive Disorder have anything to do with logic?  I wish I could learn to truly accept the disorder and enjoy the ride.  I have no idea how to confront my fears and not avoid anything no matter how much I don't want to.  Help me to reconcile how I am feeling right now with what I need to do.  I feel great yet I know that this will come crashing down.  That is what I guess I should fear most.  Help e to reconcile that before things get worse.

In Jesus' name,


Amen

Friday, September 19, 2014

Thank you for the burden

Dear Heavenly Father,

I thank You for releasing the burden that was on my mind and on my heart.  A heavy burden was in my heart and now I am still in fear.  I would like to be healed just like the lady with the issue of blood.  If only I can touch the hem of Jesus' garment, I shall be made whole.  It has been quite a ride to have obsessive compulsive disorder and being afraid of how to entertain myself and other things. It is like I have an obsession with red balls and I have become afraid of them for fear that I will be dealing with a trigger.  I don't have enough strength to overcome my fears because I don't know how to overcome my fears.  What is wrong with me?  I wish the minor things didn't matter but I admit they do.  I wish I know why I have the specified thoughts I have but I have my theories and they are only that, theories.  I believe that I live in a sheltered world and I believe that people should forgive and reconcile.  I hate it when that doesn't happen and that is why I have issues with infidelity and the thoughts that I have.  Seeing a woman  getting caught in bed is bothersome because I believe women should not cheat. and I don't like that.  I don't get as bothered with men because I have the belief that men cheat on women and it is more acceptable for a man to do so.  It makes no sense at all but when has OCD ever been logical.  OCD has been a sore spot for years.  Sometimes I feel like I have made no real progress at all.  God, take away the thoughts and the anxiety and the fears.  Help me, Lord. Take away all of the burdens.

In Jesus' name,

Amen

Thursday, September 18, 2014

Being honest about having obsessive compulsive disorder

Dear Heavenly Father,

I spent a good while in denial.  I had to realize that this morning.  I really am not doing as well as I thought.  I spent time doing "research" hoping to find the answers that I so seek.  It took me today to realize that it has not been easy.  I admit that my Christian beliefs had little or nothing to do with why I am not supposed to avoid things.  I was supposed to set no evil thing before my eyes, but does that mean television or movies?  How do I really confront my fears?  Lord, help me to truly abstain from all appearance of evil as Your word really says.  I am sorry that I have been in denial and that I have not been perfected in love.  I am really scared that I will never get the help that I need.  That is why I turn to You.  I know that I haven't brought it on myself but I feel like I have the world on my mind and on my shoulders.  I have a view of the world that often contradicts with what the real world is all about and that is the root of my issues.  The real world is often a cruel place and I have been sheltered most of my life.  In fact, I have had obsessive compulsive disorder most of my life.  I wish sometimes I didn't have this because it is time-consuming.  It is often too much to bear.  I ask You for wisdom, guidance, and peace of mind.  I am not better except for the fact that the truth is finally revealed.  I am no longer afraid of being honest.  I have not always been honest with You or other people.  It is about time I do that but the problem is, I care too much what others in the world think.  I am scared of their reaction.  I know that in hindsight they would be unable to help me.  I know that they love me but I feel that they will make a bigger deal than it already is.  This is the first time in a long time that I can finally be myself.  I would like to say that I am getting better but I know that it is not always the truth.  Help me to take care of myself.  Thank You in advance for answering my prayers and thank You for giving me piece of mind.

In Jesus' name,


Amen

Tuesday, September 16, 2014

I need You, Lord-Private letter

Dear Heavenly Father,

I feel like I need to be motivated to lose weight.  I need to be proud of myself and see the positives.  I have no set goals in mind.  It is as if I have no real realistic goals.  I have a comfortable goal but right now, I feel like even that one is unrealistic.  I need help.  As a matter of fact, I need help with quite a few things.  For the past couple of weeks, I feel like I have been thrown off course.

I also feel like I have a lot of catching up to do.  I have been in a manic state much less dealing with other issues such as having obsessive thoughts.

I wish I could embrace having these thoughts, but I don't know how.  I wish I can just embrace the fact that it no longer matters.  I cannot fight this on my own.  It takes a lot of hard work and I am still clueless as to what to do.  It is about infidelity committed by wives and not husbands.  I will never know why I have these thoughts but I have to realize that it no longer matters.  I also have to realize that acceptance and confronting my fears is the key to beating this and I don't know how to do either.  It has been hard and it is illogical.  I cannot put logic into this at all and to reason it out has been of no help.  Calming myself down helps temporary but what is bothersome is the fact that the thoughts keep coming back.

I have this persona that You know of that I don't like.  How do I deal with her.  It is not a nice persona.  It is often judgmental yet causes me to be anxiety-ridden.  Having obsessive thoughts about infidelity is not fun, not at all.  I guess I will have to accept that I will never know and that I have this persona.  Like I said, how do accept or embrace having these obsessive thoughts?  How do I confront my fears?  I ask You for wisdom on this.

I know that much of this letter is about having obsessive thoughts, but my health has become of great concern.  I have a hard time reconciling between diet and exercise and my own issues.  My knees seem to give way and I have back issues and my skin is funny feeling.  Give me the motivation and understanding that I need to lose weight.  Give me wisdom, that I may focus on what I need to focus on.  I have great difficulty trying to apply what I have at my disposal to my situation.  Help me, Lord.

I also have issues that I have brought on myself.  They are a financial nature and I brought it on myself.  I borrowed money and I have a debt to pay.  To You, and to many, they are small, but for me they are quite large.  I need money and I believe that because of my past manic state, I have made some poor choices that have come back to me and I am afraid to tell my family about it,  I have no idea what to do.  Help me, Lord.  I am afraid that I don't have the money and I am afraid that my family will find out.  I want to be fully honest with them, but I have no idea how.  What will they think?  How upset will they be?  I did wrong, and I am sorry.  I repent of my sins and I ask of Your forgiveness.  I am in need of Your help and I need immediate assistance.

Sincerely,


Letters to God

Sunday, September 14, 2014

Help me, Father

Dear Heavenly Father,

Do I have the right to call You that?  I am scared about not being able to stop my sin.  It is as if I am weak.  You forbid this sin and you forbid my doing so.  I need help in overcoming this sin.  May I not fall into temptation.  I am ashamed of what I have done.  Help me, Lord.  It seems as if no matter of words or prayers will help me.  I need Your help, Father.  What do You want for me to do?  Please, I am asking for Your help.  Thank You for doing so.


In Jesus' name,


Amen

Friday, September 12, 2014

Patience and Forgiveness

Dear God,

Thank You for giving me the patience that I so need.  Forgive me for all of my sins.  Thank You for Your forgiveness.

In Jesus' name,

Amen

Thursday, September 11, 2014

Intercession for September 11th Prayer

Lord Jesus,

Thank You for loving me enough to take away my anxiety and for providing for me.  I call on Your name because I am in need.  However, my needs are nothing like what is going on in the world. Today is the 13th anniversary of September 11th, when horrible things have happened.  Over 3,000 people have died.  May You bless them all.  May You answer the questions they have.  May there be further justice for those who lost their lives and may we not forget what happened on that day here and in other parts of the world.  I myself am worried that there will be another terrorist attack that will occur soon.  I will pray that it will be prevented.  Give the President wisdom, that he may or rather, will guide this nation.  Help us all, Lord.

Sincerely,


Letters to God

Wednesday, September 10, 2014

Burden because I want to overcome

Dear Father,

I am okay.  I believe that little miracles happen everyday.  Help me to respect myself.  I am worried and scared that I will never change.  Help me to overcome all of my sins.  I repent of them.  I am sorry.  I need Your help.  I feel spiritually weak and I don't know more of what to do.  Forgive me.  I am burden with this and I brought it on myself.  Help me, Dear Father.

Sincerely,


Letters to God

Tuesday, September 9, 2014

Burden

Dear Father,

I am burdened with quite a few things.  I feel like I am carrying the burden of the whole world on my shoulders and my mind.  I am doing better as little miracles happen everyday.  I do need miracles however as I could use one by now.  I am not fully well so I ask for Your healing.  My faith I pray make me whole.  I ask that You would lift this burden off of me and I pray for peace of mind.  I ask for these things in Jesus' name,

Amen

Monday, September 8, 2014

I am burdened and blue

Dear Heavenly Father,

I am feeling blue and that is because of what is going on here.  I wonder how much is my fault.  All I could think about what they think and that I have no control over what is going on here.  It is as if someone else has taken over the rings.  I just don't understand where to begin or what to say but it is as if I cannot do anything or be myself.  There are times when I want to do something or say something but I feel like that they won't listen.  I feel sad because I feel powerless to do anything much less change anything.  I feel like many people seem to like me nor respect me and I just wish I could move out, but I have no large income, no job, and my income is not good.  I don't wish to leave without solving any internal issues.  I need help with those internal problems as well as the problems that are causing me a lot of stress.  I am burdened and I don't know how to escape or get out of those problems.  I believe that even in the midst of burdens You know what to do.  I have my reasons for being alone and reasons to not being alone.  Why, God, why?  I need help.  Help me to wait on You. Yesterday was a wake up call.  I feel like I am being used and taken advantage of.  I hate it.  There is too much pressure built up on me and I am down because of it.  I have written letters but I feel like they will never receive them.  I pray for wisdom and guidance in this case.  I need help.

Sincerely,


Letters to God

Sunday, September 7, 2014

I am in desperate need because of my lack

Dear Jesus,

Give me the faith that I so desperately need.  In this life, all of us will have to give account in the next world.  Your word says that not everyone who says "Lord, Lord" shall enter the Kingdom of God.  I don't want one of these people and that scares me.  I wonder if that is why prayers don't get answered, that because I have doubts about being truly saved.  Am I truly saved or am I lost?  Is it the obsessive compulsive disorder?  The obsessive thoughts about being saved does add up when I do wrong or when I read something that I have no business reading.  I realize that that every thing that what I watch on television is about being obsessed.  If it doesn't bother me, then I will watch.  I avoid things not because I love and honor You.  I avoid and ask for Your salvation because I am scared of another trigger.  I ask that You will purify my motives and purify my heart.  My desire is to be holy and live a righteous life.  That is my desire.  I don't trust myself.  I wish to put my trust  in You and die to myself daily.  Most of all, I want to be saved because of my love for You and for my faith.  There are times when my faith is not strong and I doubt Your answer to my prayers and this is one of those times.  I pray out of fear of going to Hell not because the Holy Spirit has convicted me of my sins.  I am a sinner and I pray for Your mercy.  I am in need of guidance but I don't trust myself to be saved and born again.  I don't like myself for that.  I ask for pure motives and to love You with a pure heart but even that is out of fear.  I just don't trust myself when it comes to anything.  I need help to learn about repentance because I don't believe I have truly repented.  I know that we all including myself are in need of You.  Help me, dear Lord.

In Jesus' name,


Amen

Saturday, September 6, 2014

Am I saved or lost?

Lord Jesus,

I need faith.  Help me with my lack of faith.  I believe that You died on the cross for me and that the Father rose from the dead.  I am scared that I won't be ready for Your return and that I have no business longing for said return if I am not sure if I am not saved.  Help me to live and walk in faith. I don't know how to fight the obsessive thoughts that I have.  Give me wisdom, Lord.  May I be a wise believer in Christ.  I need help.  I need the Holy Spirit's leading and guidance in my life.  I want to be a new creation in Christ and for the old things to pass away.  Does being saved entail saying a prayer? What does it mean to call on Your name and to be saved by faith?  I am not sure if I have truly called on You?  How can I be a witness if I don't know I am saved myself?  I feel like such a hypocrite.  I wish I knew more about what is going on with me.  I am scared that Satan will win and that I will suffer in the Lake of Fire because of my lack of faith which is what I need to be saved.  If I lack faith, then I am not saved.  I just think that I am.  I cannot even discern between what is good and what is evil.  Who are the true prophets and who are the false prophets?  I wish to not follow the false prophets for that is about my eternal destiny.  I know prayer does not save but I often pray to be saved and born again.  Jesus, I need You.  Help me.  Thank You for answering this prayer and for Your wisdom and guidance.

In Your name,


Amen

Friday, September 5, 2014

Jesus, I need You.

Dear Jesus,

I am here to write that I have obsessive compulsive disorder.  I need Your help.  I am not sure if  I am saved or lost.  Maybe the devil is convincing me that I am saved and that I am not a real believer.  I have a problem and I need help.  I want to know if I am saved or if I am lost.  Help me to apply Your Word to my life.  I want to know if also I need to be water baptized again.  I have done things that I am not proud of and sometimes it has been a struggle.  I need You right now, for I am struggling.  I don't know if I am saved or lost.  I feel ashamed that I am lost.  I really want to be a daughter of the Father.  Do I have the right to be the daughter of God?  Am I a joint-heir with You?  Have I truly changed or surrendered fully to You?  Jesus, I ask for wisdom in this manner.  I have little idea.  Is it the obsessive compulsive disorder that is causing me to doubt, the enemy, or is it me?  I want to make sure if I am saved or lost.  Help me.


In Your name,


Amen