Saturday, April 30, 2016

Die to self

Lord,

Teach me Your ways.  I will die to self and take up my cross.  I thank You for saving me.

In Jesus' name,

Amen

Friday, April 29, 2016

Wishing to, but sometimes give up

Father,

Show me what I need to do.  Maybe I do overthink things, or at least that is my tendency to.  I realize that I don't understand why I do that, but I have an idea why.  I want to change but I don't know how. I tend to lose interest quickly and I give up.  I don't know how to change.  Everything and everyday is a struggle.  I  have the knowledge and the know how.  It is just putting it all together that is the hard part.  I am scared, Lord.  I don't know how to overcome fear and anxiety.  I just don't know what to do.  That is why I ask for Your help.

Sincerely,


Letters to God.

Thursday, April 28, 2016

Being someone saved and anew

Lord,

I thank You for saving me.  I thank You that I am a new creation is Jesus Christ.  I am sorry for all of my wrongs.  I realize that I really need to lay off of the internet for a while.  It is time for me to have a social life and for things to actually change over the years. Help me to see that there are things more important such as persecution, hunger, or every other level of evil going on in the world.  I repent of my sins.  Give me a clean and pure heart.  Help me to die to self, for I now understand what that means.  Give me the strength to endure.  I ask this in Jesus' name.  Amen

Monday, April 25, 2016

Decision to take action

Lord,

I have decided to take action, but I need to know what to do.  I ask for the guidance to further take action and the direction to go towards my goal, or rather goals.  I have many goals such as obsessive thoughts, dieting, and overall weight loss.  I am overwhelmed and have been in the past.  I need Your help.  Where I begin?  I personally would like to start life over.  I believe that being overwhelmed has to do with impatience and anxiety.  Help me to overcome these things.  I ask that You would give me the strength to do just that.  Help me to do what seems impossible, at least to me.  I have done what is hard before.  I can do it again.  Lord, help me to make even the small goals more realistic.  I need the clarity that I so ask so that I have overcome being overwhelmed easily.  That is what I wished I had said.

I pray this in the name of Jesus Christ,

I thank You.

Amen.

Thursday, April 21, 2016

Miraculous opening

Lord,

I need help.  I know that I need to change.  The truth is I need to, but do I want to?  Yes, I do now.  I have doubts about my reasoning.  I admit that I have made little to no progress.  I am here to write that I could use a miracle here.  My mind is stuck on one thing but I can't or won't budge.  I need to be taught new tricks. I need to help myself,  I realize that I am looking at what is hard and what it insurmountable.  The odds are great.  I have prayed about this often.  I am seeing other people for counsel.  Lord, I would like to go out more and I feel confused and lonely.  I don't like this feeling. I don't like the groundhog day life.  I am ready to do other things and meet new people.  No matter what my options are, I still feel weak and powerless.  Lord, where do I start?  How do I gain control finally?

In Jesus' name,


Letters to God

Wednesday, April 20, 2016

Do I really? I have doubts.

Lord,

I would like a change in my life.  I would like a change in me. As I am writing You, I have to realize that I may not be truly born again.  I have asked Jesus to come into my heart, but I am not sure even after nearly two decades, if I am a true Christian.  How can I be a witness if I am not a true Christian? Right now, what if I have doubts about being born again due a doubt about my faith about the Crucifixion and the fact that You rose Him from the Jesus?  Now, I have wondered if even though one is saved by faith.  I thank You that You overcame the flesh, the enemy, and the world.  Have I been saved by faith?  I am scared that I will be hearing that You never knew me for I am not a true believer.  I am a bit torn.  Would only the so-called religious, saved or not, have these thoughts? I recall Jesus told the disciples about the Holy Spirit.  I realize that true believers in Christ will have problems and will be persecuted.  I cannot imagine living in a nation where I have virtually no right to live in some people's eyes because of my beliefs.  I just have my doubts.  If I have doubts for whatever reason, then how come is it sometimes I don't know all that You have tried to convict me? I ask for the assurance of my salvation, if that is even biblical.  Have I been saved and truly grafted into the faith?  Only You have the answer.  I am asking for that answer.  I have been anxious for a long time now whether it is about salvation or someone or something else.  Anxiety is a serious issue that I have.  How do I become saved?  What must I do to be saved?  I thank You for Your answer.


Sincerely,


Letters to God

Tuesday, April 19, 2016

Direction and answers needed

Father,

I am learning.  I put You and make You as my first Priority.  I confess that I do procrastinate and that is a problem.  I have these options, but I also am in need of guidance.  Should I do a follow up of the kind of help I need?  The real reasons I procrastinate are the failure aspect, and also, I feel as if I am controlled.  I feel I have to ask permission to get help.  I have waited too long to try to and get help. It is as if no matter what, I have no control over my life.  I admit that I have no made any progress.  My life has not changed.  I have changed however.  I need Your help in this matter.  Help me to make the right decisions.  Where should I do?  What should I do?  Who else should I talk to?  I really do appreciate the help and the advice I have been given.  I also have tried, or rather, have not been proactive.  I will not make any excuses.  My desire is to change my life.  Looking at my autobiographies, I want and need change.  It has been my desire.  I ask not only for guidance, but for clarity and for direction.  I ask for growth in my faith and I feel as if I have people counting on me. I don't want to feel that way.  However, I feel like I am.  I am waiting for this and that and I don't like it.  My fate seems to be in other people's hands.  That is how feel.  What do I need to do because I feel like I am being anything but free in my mindset?  In other words, I want to speak out and I want to do what is okay by me.  I just am in such need right now, but I have my doubts.  How do I overcome these doubts?  Lord, I am in need of You.  Lord, I am in need of my guidance.

Thank You, and continue to give You thanks.

In Jesus' name,


Amen

Monday, April 18, 2016

Dealing with and overcoming procrastination

Lord, I wish to pour my heart out to You.  It is about being a procrastinator.   Why am I like this?  I would like to and I need to change.  I have discussed my being fear and anxious, I guess.  It was a nice beautiful prayer in which I poured out my whole heart.  Sometimes, I believe that I will never do what I am supposed to do.  What I am supposed to do is exercise and eat healthy.  I would like to know if I can do that.  My biggest fear is to lose weight by just diet or just exercise.  I would like to do both. I seem to have no idea how, even if it is the simplest thing to do.  I wish I were to do and follow directions for diet and healthy eating.  I have taken too much of my medication, where I ended up feeling groggy.  I have been out of it since all afternoon.  I need Your guidance,  I ask for help.  I don't know what else to say or what else to do.  I have dealt with procrastination for a long time when it comes to exercise.  I am more ready to lose weight and to take care of myself now more than ever before.  I ask for clarity.  Why do I procrastinating?  I have trouble taking action, even if it is for the long haul.  What do I need to make the right decision?  Your help is needed and appreciated.  Thank You that with You, all things are possible.

In Jesus' name,


Amen

Sunday, April 17, 2016

Taking action prayer

Lord,

Thank You, for it has been a while since I talked to You about taking action.  I have wondered if I have taken any action.,  The problem is, taking an action can even be scary.  God, show me what I need to do.  I have little to no support.  I ask for an opening as far as opportunity,  Lord, I thank You for opening doors for me.  Take care, in Jesus' name, Amen.

Saturday, April 16, 2016

What would Jesus say or do about my weight and other health issues?

Lord Jesus,

Help me.  I know I need to lose weight.  I have read devotionals, lessons, and Bible verses.  I admit that I have not read Your entire Bible.  I wish I had taken the time to read and study Your Word.  Help me to deny myself and take up my cross.  I realize that You are the center of my life.  Lord, I make You the center of my life.  I have focused so much on my health that I often don't take the time to put You in it.  You are not my co-pilot, for You have died on the cross for me.  You didn't just become my Partner, You are My Lord.  You will judge all of us.  I realize that I did not put You first in all things.  I repent of all of those things.  It is wrong or unfair of me to not ask You for guidance.  I could use wisdom to perform those things that I could have done all along, which is diet and exercise.  I have made losing weight so difficult for me.  I don't know how to ask, but I need Your guidance, for You guide me with Your eye, which is what I ask for.

What does Your Word say about my weight issues and how I feel about myself?  I surrender my fears and doubts over to You.  Teach me Your ways in all matters, including the issues of health and weight loss.  I want to stay healthy, something I haven't been in years.  I have felt bad about myself because of my physical appearance and my health issues. I have a mindset that does not reflect godliness.  I admit that I think that I am unattractive and lazy. I want to be perfect or perfectionist.  My weight has been an issue for a long time because of how I feel about myself and how others see me.  I want and need to lose weight.  I also want to obey and serve You.  Forgive me for all of my sins.  Forgive me for not always allowing You to guide me and to put You first in my life.  You are my first Priority because I have to answer about how I have lived my life in every area.  Cleanse me of all of my sins and my unrighteousness.  Help me deny myself and to put You first.

I am afraid that I will fail and that I will falter.  I am still afraid that I will never lose weight and be healthy.  I have the skills and I finally know how to use them.  This is true, plus I want to feel the way You feel about me.  That is why I ask for Your help.  I don't really want to spend my days struggling without You in my life.  I have been miserable for most of my life.  I have my views on losing weight, but I wished I have taken the time to use that knowledge on myself.  I need to actually care.  The reasons why I have engaged in heavy eaten is not about sabotaging but about not caring.  I have taken my health for granted as I have taken life for granted.  Help me to change my mindset so that I can renew my mind.  I am afraid that I will fail and I need help in overcoming that. I am not confident because of my perfectionist mindset.  Help me to overcome fear and doubt.  I look at myself in the mirror and my own pictures and shadows.  The truth is, I don't like what I see.  I want to change, but for me and You.  I have been even more self-conscious over the years.

I know that poor eating habits play a role, but I don't wish to have my condition be used as an excuse. I have no idea how to change.  Your word has given me encouragement for Your word, and those verses speak of holiness.  I would like to know what are Your thoughts about me taking care of myself.  I have grown tired of doing and being and acting the same.  I have been unhappy with not only my health and my appearance, but also how I live out my days.  I want to do more than just focus so much on my physical appearance and poor eating habits.  I want to focus and live for You as a Christian.  I also ask for the Holy Spirit for conviction and for guidance.  I am in need of that.  This has been the deepest conversation that I have had about this issue.  Jesus, help me to be made perfected in love.  While I would like to eat healthy and exercise everyday, it is hard to do.  Losing weight has been hard for me for the long haul.  I want to finally learn from my mistakes and not get caught up in the attitudes of the world.  The truth is, I have no idea what I am doing.  I am scared.  Help me overcome this fear and even this anxiety.  I don't want to falter or make a mistake.  It seems to me that I become more than inspired by others, but it seems much easier for them to lose weight and be healthy.  I would like to know how to make small changes.  I would like to know what I am actually doing without the fear and anxiety taking over.

Lord, I know I need to lose weight, but as it seems, I have allowed this issue to become obsessive at times.  I just cannot take it anymore.  I have heard the phrase and song, "Jesus, Take the Wheel.".  I know what it means, but is it totally biblical?  Whatever the scripture says, I ask for the wisdom to know what Your Word says is true and what is non-biblical and false.  It is so frustrating to know that there were things that came upon me at one time, including a nearly 60 pound weight gain.  If only I were thinner than I am now, what will happen.  Would it change my mindset?  Will I become a much better, and happier, person?  I would like to live my life not caring what others think  I ask that You would help me live and breathe holiness, despite everything.  Help me to not feel bad because of fearing disappointment, or because I am procrastinating because I fear failure.  How do I overcome this?  I no longer want to have the mindset that I have.  That is why I ask for the things that I ask You.  I ask that  You would become the Lord of every area of my life.  Forgive me for all of my sins, including my fears for allowing them to take over.  Your word says to be anxious for nothing.  The problem is, I have a hard time dealing with anxiety.  Most of all I need You.

Help me to be thankful, thoughtful, and not get caught up in the things of this world, which is what has been a part of my life.  It right now, seems like this prayer is based on an obsession, which is worrying me.  Jesus, it seems as if my life is just one obsession or another.  I surrender every detail of my life over to You.  Help me to overcome these obsessions and this anxiety by giving me piece of mind.  Thank You for allowing me to present my request and my hope is that You have not only lent Your Ear, that You would convict me and guide me every step of the way.  I tire of living the same day over and over again.  I want to start anew.  Thank You for Your love, and for Your forgiveness.  I pray this in Your name, Amen.

Friday, April 15, 2016

Expanding my social network

Father,

Forgive me for all of my sins.  There have been times when I feel frustrated and alone.  Sometimes I even wonder why my prayers don't get answered.  I wonder, too, if it is my fault.  I just don't know or understand why they aren't answered.  I guess You want me to dig deeper.  Digging deeper in oneself is not easy and it hasn't always been for me.  I don't always know what to do or even how to ask.  I have so many needs and requests to present to You.  I sometimes wonder why if I am saying or doing all of the right things.  I just wish I knew.  Lord, sometimes, I believe that Your ways and thoughts and higher than mine.  I ask for clarity.  I need direction in my life.  You have convicted me to do something.  Take some action.  Do something for myself.  The problem is, I just don't know where to begin.  I ask You for guidance as well.  Lord, what do I need to do?  I have learned to be envious and lonely at not being able to relate to other people.  Looking back at my life, I realize that all I needed was someone I can get close to.  Now, I find myself feeling like the world has passed me by.  I have not grown with the rest of the world.  I have grown complacent.  I needed to realize that the friend or friends have to be true.  I have felt so guilty about not always being able and social towards others. I have social skills though these days, they seem to be lacking.  It is as if I have not grown.  I have nowhere to go or no one else to turn to, but I do have options now.  My question is, should I take those opportunities that have been given to me?  I have prayed about those opportunities, but how will I get there.  How will get anywhere?  I sometimes have resigned myself to where I am and what I am doing.  I need some change in my life.  How do I overcome the mindset that I do have about my social life?  I know that I need to change me.  I also know that I have no idea how to change.  I would like to write to You about other things, and not just my weight or OCD.  I would like to have someone who is a person of integrity to talk to.  I would love to chat about pertinent things.  I would like to date and have a family.  I would like to be independent and stand on my own two feet.  I thank You for giving me the opportunity to express this request in writing.  Thank You.

In Jesus' name,


Amen

Tuesday, April 12, 2016

Being convicted

Lord,

Thank You for convicting me.  I need help.  I have spent years satisfying the flesh and I don't know how to overcome it.  I know that I need to lose weight and keep it off.  The problem is, I have no idea how to take the action You need me to take.  I am concerned because I don't know where to begin and also because I procrastinate too much.  I have no idea how to overcome my fears.  Well, I give You my all, including my fears.  I casts all of those cares over to You.  I repent of all of my sins.  I have tried on my own to overcome whatever issues I need to overcome.  I don't wish to make a vow or wish to make a promise because I fail to keep them and follow them.  I know it is because of fear. How do I be made in perfect love since I have fears.  I don't know how to overcome them, but You can.  I surrender this issue over to You.  I thank You that You love me and that You care for me.  I believe that there are no accidents with You.  I have been online all day, so I know that I need to lay off the internet.  My heart was not in it anymore.  I didn't know what to do.  I ask You that You would show me what I need to do and where I begin.  Give me the wisdom and guidance to live for You and serve You.  How do I stop procrastinating and just starting to move forward?  Over the years I have liked my life as it is, but I realize now that I got too comfortable.  Teach me Your ways, O Lord. Give me the clarity that I so need continually as You have before.  You have convicted me before.  I am asking for continued clarity and I also ask for You direction in my life.  I would like to thank You for answering my prayer.

In Jesus' name,


Amen

Monday, April 11, 2016

Not to ask amiss

Lord,

I am not sure where I am really going in this world.  I no longer feel like the world has passed me by. I give You all credit and all praise for doing such for me.  I have to see that there are things that I need to and supposed to do.  The problem is, I don't know what to do and where to go.  I have received so much help that I feel bad about not knowing what help I am supposed to take.  None of it has sunk in except for the fact that I have made little progress, especially when it comes to losing weight.  I now feel like maybe unleashing would be a good thing.  Teach me how to pray without asking amiss.  I had trouble with finding the right words to say.  Maybe I should not focus on the words, but to focus on You.  I ask for forgiveness of my sins and I thank You in advance for answering this and all other prayers.

I realize that I am putting too much pressure on myself.  I am listening to a song about stress and wanting to live for You.  Living like and being a believer hasn't always been easy however.  It is worth it.  I wouldn't have it any other way.  I thank You for saving me and for convicting me daily. I am not perfected but I thank You for peace of mind.  Forgive me for all of my sins including the sin of gluttony.  I really can't explain in detail why I engage in such mindless eating.  I ask that You would help me with my weight, which I am concerned about.  I am worried that I will never lose the weight nor keep it off.  I am over 300 pounds and have health problems.  I have been told that I need to take my health more seriously and they are right.  I need to be held accountable for how I take care of myself.  Help me to see myself for who I really am and what I need to do.

What seems small or big to me is even larger to You.  It took me a while to actually allow that to sink in.  I need some change period, including when it comes to my spiritual, mental, emotional, and physical health. I get out of control and I don't know how to stop.  Lord, give me wisdom and control of my habits.  Give me and guide my understanding of what is most important in life.  I realize that I may be asking amiss and I am truly sorry.  I realize also that my prayers can be selfish.  Without asking amiss, I ask for forgiveness of sins, peace of mind, wisdom, and accountability.  I live in a world that is larger than myself and I ask that You would help me to see that my view of myself, You, and the world could be what is holding me back.  Life is about more than food and drink.  Forgive me, Father, for I have been living as if I had little faith especially in You.  I ask for conviction from the Holy Spirit, for I thank You, Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, for giving me peace of mind and again, for forgiveness.

I have grown tired of the same thing over and over again.  I would like to be able and strong enough to make different, and better choices as You show me how.  I ask that You would show me how. I realize that I am not of this world despite my living in it.  Help me to die to self daily, for I realize that I have not done so.  I also ask for wise counsel from You and for those who have wisdom.  Bless those who give counsel without providing ungodly counsel and an ungodly attitude in mind.  I have lived according to the flesh and I ask for forgiveness.  I repent of my sins.  I also ask that You would teach me that there are things that are more important to You than a change in my physical self, but also a change in my emotions, health, understanding, and spiritual matters.  Help me to see this world, and I give You thanks for thus far answering my prayers.  I give You praise for giving me clarity on things that are most important to me.

Sunday, April 10, 2016

Today, I have been feeling frustrated because I had no idea what to say to God.

Lord,

I am not sure where I am really going in this world.  I no longer feel like the world has passed me by. I give You all credit and all praise for doing such for me.  I have to see that there are things that I need to and supposed to do.  The problem is, I don't know what to do and where to go.  I have received so much help that I feel bad about not knowing what help I am supposed to take.  None of it has sunk in except for the fact that I have made little progress, especially when it comes to losing weight.  I now feel like maybe unleashing would be a good thing.  Teach me how to pray without asking amiss.  I had trouble with finding the right words to say.  Maybe I should not focus on the words, but to focus on You.  I ask for forgiveness of my sins and I thank You in advance for answering this and all other prayers.

In Jesus' name,


Amen

Saturday, April 9, 2016

Taking action

Lord,

Show me how to step out of comfort zone.  I want to make progress.  I don't want to wait until it is too late to do anything about it.  Forgive me of all of my sins; cleanse me from my unrighteousness. Give me not just the will but the strength and motivation to do so.  Father, help me.  I thank You in advance for answering my prayer.

In Jesus' name,


Amen

Thursday, April 7, 2016

Wednesday, April 6, 2016

God's Grandeur by Gerard Manley Hopkins

God's Grandeur
by Gerard Manley Hopkins

The world is charged with the grandeur of God.
It will flame out, like shining from shook foil;
It gathers to a greatness, like the ooze of oil
Crushed. Why do men then now not reck his rod?
Generations have trod, have trod, have trod;
And all is seared with trade; bleared, smeared with toil;
And wears man's smudge shares man's smell: the soil
Is bare now, nor can foot feel, being shod.

And for all this, nature is never spent;
There lives the dearest freshness deep down things;
And though the last lights off the black West went
Oh, morning, at the brown brink eastward, springs --
Because the Holy Ghost over the bent
World broods with warm breast with ah! bright wings.

Tuesday, April 5, 2016

Lent His ear

Lord,

Thank You.  All I ask is that You lend Your ear to me.  Thank you, for you have answered.

In Jesus name,


Amen

Monday, April 4, 2016

I know about the need at least.

Jesus,

I have gone and done too much.  Help me to draw on my experiences so that I could write to You. You know of my life and You know that I want to change, but I am overwhelmed and give up too easily.  I just don't know how to go about it other than to forget the advice I have been given.  I need Your help, Lord.  I ask You for assistance in this manner and I thank You in advance for You have lent an ear to my represent.

Sincerely,


Letters to God

Sunday, April 3, 2016

Psalm 25

  To you, O Lord, I lift up my soul.
2 O my God, in you I  ptrust;
qlet me not be put to shame;
rlet not my enemies exult over me.
3 Indeed, snone who wait for you shall be put to shame;
they shall be ashamed who are twantonly utreacherous.
4 vMake me to know your ways, O Lord;
teach me your paths.
5 Lead me in your wtruth and teach me,
for you are the God of my salvation;
for you I wait all the day long.
6 Remember your xmercy, O Lord, and your steadfast love,
yfor they have been from of old.
7 Remember not zthe sins of my youth or my transgressions;
according to your asteadfast love remember me,
for the sake of your goodness, O Lord!
8 bGood and upright is the Lord;
therefore he cinstructs sinners in the way.
9 He leads the humble in what is right,
and teaches the humble his way.
10 All the paths of the Lord are dsteadfast love and faithfulness,
for those who keep his covenant and his testimonies.
11 For your ename's sake, O Lord,
pardon my guilt, for it is fgreat.
12 Who is the man who fears the Lord?
Him cwill he instruct in the way that he should choose.
13 His soul shall gabide in well-being,
and his hoffspring ishall inherit the land.
14 jThe friendship2 of the Lord is for those who fear him,
and he makes known to them his covenant.
15 My keyes are ever toward the Lord,
for he will lpluck my feet out of the net.
16 mTurn to me and be gracious to me,
for I am lonely and afflicted.
17 The troubles of my heart are enlarged;
bring me out of my distresses.
18 nConsider my affliction and my trouble,
and forgive all my sins.
19 Consider how many are my foes,
and with what violent hatred they hate me.
20 Oh, guard my soul, and deliver me!
oLet me not be put to shame, for I take refuge in you.
21 May integrity and uprightness preserve me,
for I wait for you.
22 pRedeem Israel, O God,
out of all his troubles.

Father, I thank You for this prayer.  Not only does it inspire great comfort, it is a prayer for the heartfelt.  I thank You again.

Amen

Saturday, April 2, 2016

Questions about a change for a change

Dear Heavenly Father,

How do I overcome guilt from the past and my obsessive thoughts?  I guess this is an obsessive thought.  I realize that my obsessive thoughts won't go away overnight.  Sometimes, I get tired and I hate OCD.  Meanwhile there are times when OCD has drawn me closer to You.  Help me.  I ask that You would give me the wisdom to overcome not just the OCD, but change my mindset and obsessive ways of thinking.  There are times when I am not sure if I obsess about weight or because of certain factors, my weight is obviously an issue.  It is one of a few issues that I can present to You.  I also ask that You would give me guidance and direction when it comes to my health and my overall way of living.  Thank You for answering my prayers.

In Jesus' name,


Amen

Friday, April 1, 2016

Walking on eggshells

Lord,

Help me to see that only I am in need of change.  Whatever the reason for what I do, or not do, I realize that I need to change. I have grown to live on eggshells and I find it annoying.  I do wonder if speaking up for myself would work.  Lord, show me what I need to do to live with someone who I can be myself or make even the slightest mistake on.  I just want to be free to be myself.  Lord, help me.  I thank You for Your answer, and forgiveness.

Sincerely,


Letters to God