Tuesday, October 7, 2014

I want to move on from the obsessions and compulsions

Dear God,

I have grown tired.  I realize that I have to do what is hard which is confront my fears and be anxious. I know it contradicts not being anxious for nothing but strangely enough I feel better.  I realize that I am apprehensive about new thoughts coming along.  I am scared.  Help me face that fear as well. With Your help, I know now that I will be okay.  Checking and asking for reassurance has been, and still is, a waste of time and energy.  I am not sure if my dreams help or harm, especially based on fictional stories but I guess making up my own stories have been somewhat helpful.  I don't wish to have these thoughts and be tempted by them.  However, I realize that temptation is a part of the Christian life.  Give me the strength that I so need to overcome temptation.

Help me to use common sense to overcome the temptation that I will go through to perform the compulsions and checking based on what I read.  For instance, if a woman does cheat, common sense would tell me that she did wrong because infidelity is a cowardly, selfish act.  They don't deserve abuse, or death for their deeds.  Yet the truth is, I will never know why people cheat and I have grown tired of the compulsions and the obsessive thoughts.  I would like to get better and overcome these thoughts.  I need the wisdom, strength, and guidance to do those things and I ask for a generous amount of all things.  Sometimes it involves waking up, dreams, and being anxious and uncertain.  I also have to deal with uncertainty. For instance, I will never know why I have these thoughts.  Maybe it is for the best.  I guess it doesn't matter that I will never know.  Lord, I ask You for Your wisdom in my life.  I leave everything in Your hands, and I thank You that You are greater than my obsessive thoughts and compulsions.


Letters to God