Frustrated with obsessive thoughts

Dear Heavenly Father,

Everything I do is based on an obsession.  I finally told my mother about my thoughts and I feel better.  I believe that I do way too much time wasting checking and not enough praying.  I have trouble getting closer to You.  I sometimes feel alone because I don't know how to accept or agree with these thoughts.  They are bothersome and I feel like I cannot take these obsessive thoughts anymore.  I have no clue what I am doing and I need Your forgiveness, increase in faith, and wisdom. I need Your help.  How do I apply what I have learned, read, and obsessed about to my life?  It has either had an effect on my emotions since I am here to write that that was before the Abilify.  I even acted out the bothersome thought, but I wonder if it is really something I should be doing.  Even someone's comments about the book or the movie bother me.  I feel like I am losing it.  I feel lonely sometimes because I cannot relate to anyone else who have these thoughts.  Does it matter why someone cheats on their spouse?  Does it even matter why I have these thoughts?  The truth is, I will never know.

Sincerely,


Letters to God