Monday, November 10, 2014

Telling God how I really feel in terms of my weight.

Dear Heavenly Father,

Help me.  I need help and You are the only One I can turn to.I need help.  I consume a poor diet and I don't know how to eat healthy or eat in moderation.  I want to lose weight but sadly I no set goals in mind.  I have an idea but I am not sure if I could set my mind to it.  That is the problem; I need help in setting my mind to it.  As You know, I procrastinate and I believe that that is why.  I am not sure if I can do this all by myself.  I am not doing as well as I would like to have done.  I need help with a lot of things as I am stressed out.  I am not making much progress yet I am happy with even one pound of weight loss.

I take advantage of my weight loss and eat poorly. That is what I have done for the past few days.  I would like to change but I don't know.  I would like to be able to lose weight and I have become more stressed out.  There are things that are hard for me to do.  There are clothes that I would like to wear, and my health needs to improve.  I know I need to lose weight.  What is so sad is that I had no desire but now I do.  I need Your wisdom and guidance.  I have prayed over the years to lose weight but I only made some progress only to have my weight go up and down.

 I am not sure if I sabotage myself, but I have given up on losing weight.  I am living my fears and I wish sometimes that I was smaller now.  I keep saying it is a lesson, but it doesn't help me.  I wish I weighed much less than I am now and I feel guilty for gaining so much weight over the years.  I really have no clue. I really, really need Your help.  I am also self-conscious about my body and I have difficulty seeing myself as You see me.  I don't wish and don't hide.  I want to be healthy and just get out there but I know I am holding myself back and I take full responsibility of my actions, or lack thereof.  I have grown tired of talking about my weight in my counseling session and I wish I could talk about something else.

I know I need to take better care of myself but to be honest, I don't know how or where to begin.  I thank You that I am finally, finally unashamed to write or "tell" You how I feel.  I want and desire to make progress.  But am I doing this because of someone else or am I doing this for myself?  I was told that I have not made the progress that I should have made over the years.  It is true that I don't wish to be seen as non-compliant, so I called today to ask for help.  I really need help and I really need counsel when it comes to diet and exercise.  When it comes to these things, I have not taken care of myself I admit and I feel I am proving this someone right.  I need to do this for me and me alone, not anyone else.  I really need immediate assistance and immediate help in this manner.  Help me, Lord.  Help me.

In Jesus' name,