Wednesday, December 31, 2014

I have just started a program but I have to deal with a lot of issues..

Heavenly Father,

Take the confusion from me. What I am trying to say is that I have been confused and out of it.  I don't know if it is all of the meal plans, rules, and regulations.  I have been trying to lose weight for years.  I would like to be able to lose weight without trouble.  That is not realistic.  Help me to deal with the issues that have caused me to give up in the first place.  I know that I love food, but I realize that food doesn't love me back.  I need, want, and desire to lose weight.

I have been self-conscious for a long time and today was the day I have decided that no more will I remain self-conscious.  I have difficulty moving when I am active because I have been limited by my weight.  Help me to keep that in mind whenever I have something to deal with.  Right now, I am dealing with mental confusion.  Maybe that has been the problem.  I have been confused and tired for so long that maybe I have became fixated about my weight.

I have really wanted to lose weight but I have been thrown off course.  I don't wish to be a beginner any longer.  I ask that You would remove the stumbling blocks that will keep me from accomplishing my goal.  I have a set goal now and I am feeling better.  I would like to lose over 80 lbs.  I see it as a daunting task, but my mindset has got to change.  Help me to relax.  It is no use spending all of this money whenever I am so stressed out about this.

In fact, help me to deal with stress.  I have allowed stress to take over my life.  I tire of it.  The thing is, though, I don't want to just tire of things.  I want to do something about it.  I want to be committed and remain committed.  The thing that scare me the most is that I am afraid that I won't be committed but remain committed.  I have no idea how to deal with plateaus, eating the right kinds of foods, and dealing with frustration.  That is why I have signed up with Weight Watchers for the third time.

Help me to lose weight.  I weigh nearly 300 pounds and I have never weighed that before a few years ago.  I don't wish to stay 300 pounds for a while and then gain even more weight to a point where I will remain at that weight for a while.  I have noticed that my weight is a series of cycles.  It is a cycle that I have a hard time getting out of, but I realize that it is not impossible.   I am asking for a change of mindset and a way to stay committed.

My life is a testimony of confusion and giving up.  My eating habits have become emotional than ever before.  My poor eating habits have to do with stress.  Help me to deal with stress.  It scares me that losing weight will be a journey that one has to stick to and commit to.  I fear that I will not be up to the challenge.  Give me the strength and guidance that I need to be and remain up to the challenge. I ask that You would show me what I need to do.

I want more than anything to do something about it.  I have allowed myself to be thrown off course so many times I have to look back at what I did right and what I have done wrong.  Help me to deal with the cares of this life and not get so caught up in the things of the world.  Help me to see myself as You see me.  I know Your Word says that I am fearfully and wonderfully made, but I admit that I have a hard time believing it.  I don't really think I am beautiful or wonderfully made.  I have dealt with guilt over gaining weight, the stress of knowing that I will fail this time, comparing myself to others, the low self-esteem, and the fact that I hate to and I am afraid to fail.  Not only do I ask to take over my affairs, but to not be and feel like I am lazy and powerless.  Help me to change my mindset so that I will remain eating and thus being healthy.

I am now under the stress that I will fail and that I will remain confused.  I tire of it, but I don't wish to remain tired.  I want to and need to do something about it.  I know and realize that my health problems are due to having diabetes and other risk factors due to my weight gain.  Help me to see what my counselor says could happen to me if I don't commit myself to losing weight and having no real set goals.  I also ask that You will help me to conquer all of my fears.  I surrender all to You and I ask You for forgiveness and lack of faith.  Give me the faith and desire to not only commit myself but to overcome and deal with whatever confusion and challenge that I know will come my way such as fear, doubt, and not dealing with the stress in my life.  Help me to not do all of the work and do things that will cause further confusion which in turn will most likely cause me to quit.  Help me to make the right decisions and to not feel bad whenever I slip up.  I need to see that things won't be perfect as I am not perfect.  Help me to see reality as it truly is and not as I want it.

I have a perfectionist problem and I would like to be realistic and honest with myself.  How do I do that when I have anxiety, mental health problems, physical health problems, an unrealistic mindset, and having difficulty with application of what I know and what I have learned.  I further ask that You would give me the tools and the guidance that I need to not only lose weight but to be healthy and to keep it off.  Help me to further set more realistic goals and to not just see the difficulty in the details but also see the big picture and to not see it as a daunting task.  I ask for Your help in this matter and I ask that You would help me to take care of myself.  Thank You for giving the opportunity to present this request to You.  I also thank You that nothing is too hard for You.  I thank You for Your forgiveness and Your salvation.  Thank You and I praise You.

In Jesus' name,


Amen