Saturday, January 31, 2015

Yay! I"m free!

Lord Jesus,

This is the definition of freedom.  I have no cares or worries.  I can conquer whatever is ailing me.  I don't have to worry about what is ailing me, men, weight, or anything.  I feel free and liberated.  I am here to live in the real world.  I am free.

I am no longer in a cage of all things male or exaggerated thoughts.  I really have nothing to feel anxious or worried about.  It has taken me years but I can finally be wise as to how to take better care of myself.  I am so happy right now.

I thank You for forgiveness of sin.  My mind and my eyes have been opened.  I believe that You have already given me the motivation that I need to move forward.  That was all I ever wanted, to move forward.  I am so happy with all that I have, direction.  Thank You, Lord, for guiding me with Your eye.

I know that You love me.  I don't have to believe it in my head, but in my heart.  My prayers have been answered.  I am here to "say" thank You.  You love me so much and I love You too.  I really do want to live for You and serve You all the days of my life.

My mind is clear.  I can handle these thoughts.  I have no crushes or obsessions on anyone.  I am young but I am all grown up.  I guess that is what being 40 is all about.  I can embrace my age, then I can embrace anything else.  It has been hard, but embracing it all is worth it.  I am settled as I know who I am.

You have helped me, for I was in so much need of help.  I am ever thankful.

Sincerely,


Letters to God

Friday, January 30, 2015

Thursday, January 29, 2015

Today's Prayer

Heavenly Father,

Thank You for answering my prayers.  Help me to remember all of those things I have said today. I have finally found the answers that I seek.  Actually You have given me the answers that I need to have,  I am ever thankful.

Sincerely,


Letters to God

Tuesday, January 27, 2015

Years of struggling with the same issues

Dear Heavenly Father,

I would like to be able to focus on the things that I need to focus on.  I feel like sometimes there are so many things I want to do.  The truth of the matter is, I can only focus on one thing.  For years I have had this struggle.  The struggle is not just to lose weight and be healthy but also taking the time to see the world and people around me.  Losing weight has been a rather difficult battle for me.  I would like to be able to write fewer blog entries in the near future about being overweight and having low self-esteem.  That would be nice.  There were times when my heart wasn't in it.  There are other times when I am so into it that after a while I go back to gaining weight and starting all over again. I just feel like giving up.  That was how I felt this past weekend.  I was so discouraged.  My concern was that I was so rude to You.  In fact, not only was I rude I was ungrateful.  I am truly sorry, Lord.  I hate to admit that I have shown my true character or rather, my true colors.  The feeling is that not only was I rude, but I wish I were like Job.  He was faithful no matter what.  I would like to be like Job, a righteous man who, despite ll that he has been through never lost sight of who You are.  Sadly I have lost site that You are who You are.  I was discouraged and worried this past weekend.  Today, I no longer feel that way.  I am hopeful but over the years I felt as if my hopes were dashed.  I want to change that, but I cannot do it alone.  I need a sense of direction in my life.  I have lived within a cycle of doubt-low self esteem-gaining weight-losing weight-low self esteem-gaining weight and so on.  Starting today, I would like to break that cycle and not wanting to "start over".  I want to continue where I have left off.  That would be nice.  Thank You.

Sincerely,



Letters to God

Monday, January 26, 2015

God's forgiveness and provisions.

Heavenly Father,

I am sorry for being so rude to You.  I thought it was just mere frustration.  It was rude and thoughtless.  Help me to see that there really are people who are grateful even though they seem to be worse off.  I am also sorry for my lack of faith.  I wish I wasn't so frustrated and so rude about it. Thank You for opening my eyes.  I believe that with You, all things are possible.  Maybe all I can do is wait and have faith.  I wish I were more grateful but as it stands, I have not been, and I repent for my rude behavior yesterday.  I just want for things to change, but I have finally realize that my reasoning for that was not out of pure motives but out of what others think.  I still care too much what others think.  I have made poor choices and I believe those poor choices have left me to this point.  I am just tired, but should I be?  I would like to know what You have in store for my life.  I want to know so badly.  I don't feel as alone as I did 24 hours ago.  I wish that I hadn't written that letter to You.  I was so discouraged.  I hate having these thoughts but I love the high that comes with the release of anxiety, so there are parts that are not as bad.  I wish that I hadn't though.  Help me to think things through in every area of my life.  I don't know what I want to do still but at my age I have felt like life has and still is passing me by.

Help me look at life and see things for what they really are.  I haven't done that yet and that is why I ask You for a sense of direction.  I have also been called names because of my weight.  I will be seen by some in one way.  I wish that I had not seen myself in that way.  Thank You for convicting me of my sins and I ask that You would cleanse me from my faults, for I realize that I have quite a few of them.  I am sorry but I lack in faith and I still have doubts.  I wish I did not for I would like to have my prayers answered.  I should not expect anything from You so I ask for Your forgiveness for having doubts that You would answer my prayers.  I need immediate assistance as now having been given a clean slate, I am in need of wisdom.  I ask You for wisdom in that I realize that I have to start over.  That is how I feel.  I realize that I need to do things and think things differently.  For example, my mind says one thing but what I write doesn't register.  I am concerned about this.  For another example, I do care what others think, too much.  Because of this I feel like I have to please them and to be considerate of others.  I don't think people see me in a positive light and I want that to change.  I want to change because I need to, not because of what others think.  I am scared of others doing terrible things to me as it has been done in the past.  I cannot move past it nor can I see the present with a clear lens.

Now having said that, I have no idea what to do and where to go.  I do believe that if had to not do things to be like the world, to spend this, to spend that, and to please others, then I know I wouldn't have been so frustrated as I was 24 hours ago. Having said those things, I have come to realize that I have a relationship with You and You alone.  I cannot live my life for others and the rest of the world.  I have to live a holy life and so far, I am not doing a good job of living a holy life being set apart from the world while being set apart for You.  I have often used being holy as an excuse to not focus on things that have importance on my life.  However all things are big to You, but they have no business being such a focus. For example, I like to watch television, but I find myself getting all caught up with fictional characters. Setting myself apart isn't about holiness in that aspect.  It is about avoidance, which is a symptom of the OCD that I do not like.

I am so honest with You right now that I praise You.  Thank You.  I love You, Lord, and I want to live and breathe holiness, not holier than thou and having such an attitude.  I am sorry for my attitude and placing too much importance on scary obsessive thoughts about movies, music, and tv shows.  I wish that You would guide me into not watching television or listen to bothersome music at all and that I would I have a pure heart and a pure mind with pure motives.  I ask that You would purify my heart, mind, and motives.  I know that there is a difference between holiness and also avoidance because of anxiety.  Your word says be anxious for nothing but the problem is, I get too anxious and too fearful and I need Your help in overcoming those things.  I need guidance so that I will not entertain and read a book because of avoidance verses holiness.  What should I do about avoidance; how should I deal with avoidance?

I have been given much advice, but it has been hard to register.  I am not dumb, but sometimes I feel this way because while the answers are simple, it is hard for me to follow.  Why can I not learn to eat fruits and vegetables even when I formulate a meal plan?  I meant o exercise today but I didn't.  I wish I could just do the things that I plan.  It would go a long way into losing weight.  Over the years I have become too complacent with the way things are.  I realize that there is more for me and I admit that I wish I knew what it was.  I guess it is all about walking that narrow road with faith and endurance.

What has happened to me, I ask?  I have felt guilty about my weight gain over the years.  However, could I weigh the way I did when I was in high school.  I don't think that I have aged well.  I don't think that I am as attractive to the opposite sex as I should be.  I just have these passing thoughts about myself.  I tire of the rude comments to my face and behind my back.  They are mean and hurtful.  I want to be heard.  Father, I ask that You would hear me.  I now have no idea why I want to lose weight now.  I don't even know what my goals are or how much I want to weigh.  All I know that I will be okay if I were to lose the weight that I have gained before having PCOS, which is 60 pounds.  I will be fine with that, but I don't wish to be complacent at that weight.  That is an issue that I struggle with, being too complacent.  I wish I had a magic formula so that I won't stay complacent and so I can make the first move.  All I know is that I won't stay complacent the way that I am and then all of a sudden gain more weight and lose a piece of myself.  I don't desire to weigh more than I do now.  I am not thrilled to be at the weight I am now.  I just want to be happy, healthy, and whole.  Please help me to overcome all of those things and give me the guidance I need.  Help me to see things as not only they are, but what it could be.  I am in need of Your guidance in all manner and every detail of my life.

Thank You,


In Jesus' name,


Amen

Sunday, January 25, 2015

How I really feel

Heavenly Father,

I have been feeling discouragement.  I feel like throwing in the towel.  I just cannot take these thoughts and all the avoidance that comes with it.  Nowadays I wonder if holy living is just another term for avoidance.  I know for a fact that avoidance is not healthy.  In fact, it has made my world smaller.  It has in fact made things worse.  The issues that flow out of my fictional world and my real world are that encouraging.  I don't know the difference between living in a world where I should avoid things because they are wrong verses holy living and shutting myself off from it.  I am scared that I will never overcome these thoughts.  I just don't want them.  I don't need them in my life. Whoever decided that I have these thoughts is being rather cruel.  I ask for healing and to be given a chance to change myself and to live life. I cannot live life as it is.

 I cannot live as things are right now.  Something is wrong with me.  I have no life outside of the confines of this house.  To be honest, I have nothing to be grateful for.  I am not a happy person who has done everything I know to do to get out of or change my situation and I am stuck.  I hate this and I don't like me.  I have low self-esteem and I hate that I have low self-esteem.  The whole world knows that there is something wrong with me.  In life, I have nothing to show for it.  My life is filled with resentment and unhappiness.  I am not happy with the way things are.  Why is this happening to me?  What is going on?  I hate myself most of all.  I have to be honest with You.  I am angry with You for not always being there for me.

I have nothing to be grateful about.  I try to be grateful about.  I have nothing.  I have nothing to show for it.  I am nothing in this world.  I have no sense of direction and I need guidance.  I ask that You would show me what I need to do and You have never answered that.  That is why I doubt You.  I am angry and hurt that You would leave me like this.  The world has passed me by and for years I wasn't sure why.  I don't hate You, but I doubt You.  I have had my doubts for years.  All I have ever wanted is for You to answer my prayers.  Every time I am thankful I feel like I am lying.  I am not a nice person.  However, for the first time in a long time, I can finally be honest.  I have no purpose and whenever I have asked You never answer.

I am alone and now I am upset with You.  Why do You do this to me?  What have I done to deserve this?  I know why I feel so alone.  It is because of You.  I ask for a lot but I end up with nothing.  I seem to be ungrateful and that is because I am.  Why do I feel this anger towards You?  Because I cannot take life as it is.  I have grown complacent with the way things are and that is what is wrong with me.  I have plans of my own and I wish that You could give me a purpose.  I have asked for a purpose but it seems that I have not.  The truth is, I am angry, miserable, resentful, lonely, and sad that I am all alone.  You are God and You answer prayer, but why has that not been the case for me?  Why do I feel that You leave me behind?  That is how I feel right now and probably have been feeling for years.  Help me to understand why You allow me to live like this.  I have nothing to show for it.  Why don't You help me?  I have done nothing wrong, absolutely nothing.  It is not fair.

Sincerely,


Letters to God

Friday, January 23, 2015

Simple prayer

Lord,

Guide me into all truth.  Teach me Your ways.  Help me to live holy so that I can in turn be holy. Help me to be set apart from the world.  Give me strength and courage in these days and times.

In Jesus' name,

Amen

Wednesday, January 21, 2015

Thank the Lord for conviction

Hello,

Thank You, Father, for Your conviction.  Right now, I feel really guilty about something I have said. Please forgive me.  That is all I can ask.  I am sorry for my attitude.  I want to be holy, think holy, and act holy.  Holiness I know is required of believers and I admit that I have not always been faithful to You.  I am very sorry.  Many of my thoughts and motives have been and are not pure.  I cannot say or believe that I am saved and keep on doing the same wrong things over and over without consequence.  I need not only Your help and forgiveness but also strength.  Give me the strength to overcome those sins so that I will live in true freedom and overcome those sins.  I make a promise to You that I will be a Christian who will live in the spirit and to die in the spirit.  I guess what I am trying to say is that I would like to live for You and serve You all the days of my life and take up my cross.  The Christian walk has not always been easy.  I have not been grateful for what I have and I feel so bad about not being grateful and seeing what I really see.  I have so much yet grateful for so little.  I would like to not only be grateful, but also gracious and kind.

I am a person who wants to increase the number of redeeming qualities that I have and the strength, holiness, and resolve to deal with the things of this world no matter how evil.  Show me and give me strength to overcome sins and to remind me of those who are less grateful and more in need.  I have said and done things that I am and feel guilty for.  I wish that I could change all of those things, but I cannot go back.  All I know to do is to move forward and live for the present and realize that everything I do now will have an effect on the future.  I believe that that is a message that You have Christians believe.  All that we do now has an effect on what will happen in the future.  There are only one of two places all of us will end up.  I would like to walk that narrow road that sadly only a few people will find. My desire is to walk that narrow road and to live as if I am walking the narrow road.

 I realize and I have been convicted of the fact that I have not lived and behaved like someone who has walked a narrow road. I want to walk with You and that I want to change and surrender all.  Help me to understand also my walk with You and what salvation really means.  I would like to be more honest with You.  I am truly sorry that I haven't always been.  I was afraid and in a way, I do have fears.  Help me to overcome my fears.  As someone who does love You, I still have problems that I fear will never be solved.  I have heard that every problem has a solution, but does it really?  I feel like giving up sometimes.  I have been overwhelmed over the years.  Things have changed, but I wonder if I have.  Sometimes I feel like a coward.  I would like to be a person who has a positive outlook on things.  I don't know how and I would like to affirm myself.  I want to know and take in the fact that I am loved by You.

I have been told many not so nice things over the years and those hurt for example.  I felt guilty about gaining weight and allowing it to happen.  I have a condition that no one else seems to believe that I have because of poor eating habits.  My self esteem is still low and I care what others think, way too much.  It is as others in this world control me.  Because of that, I wonder if I have spent my life living for the world and thus be an enemy of the world.  My hair was very dry and I have wondered what people were to have thought about my hair.  I saw myself in the mirror and I don't like what I see.  I need help in changing that.  I have thoughts that just won't go away.  I have so many plans and so much advice it is no wonder that I am overwhelmed.  I wish that despite being overwhelmed, I was more grateful of the good things that I have.  It is a sad thing, but I need help in all of these areas.  I overeat because of this.  I would like to change my diet because of my health.  There is so much for me to be overwhelmed by that I forgot to take the time to be thankful, and for that, I am sorry.  I truly humble myself and apologize.  I surrender all of this over to You because You would know what to do. Thank You for all that You have done and will do for the rest of my days.  I thank You for giving this opportunity to present my prayer over to You.  I give You praise for blessing me and I give You for answered prayer.  Thank You.

In Jesus' name,


Amen

Tuesday, January 20, 2015

A short prayer on conviction

Dear Jesus,

Thank You for convicting me of all of my sins.

In Your name,

Amen

Monday, January 19, 2015

Holiness

Dear God,

Teach me Your ways.  Help me to be holy.  Help me, O Lord, help me.

Sincerely,


Letters to God

Sunday, January 18, 2015

Depressing scary day

Lord,

Help me.  I have these days where I simply don't know how to handle those thoughts that I have. Today was one of those days.  I ask for healing and guidance.  I know that I need to take action but I have no idea where to begin.  Show me where I need to start.  I am not sure if I am going to make it. I have been afraid for nothing.  I had a fear and though that one went away, other fears will always remain it seems.  Those are the fears that keep recurring.  I have no confidence that they will go away no matter how hard I try.  Help me.  Show me what I need to do.  Help me, for  I am and will continue to be grateful.

Sincerely,


Letters to God

Friday, January 16, 2015

Prayer and motivation

Lord,

I wish to be more honest in my praying.  I am sorry for all that I have done wrong and those things that I felt I have given up.  I am beginning a new chapter.  I am embracing my age while not embracing my physical beans.  That should have told me something right then and there.  However, I am now doing something about it and that makes feel good.  I have felt so much accomplished much in a few days and that is quite a motivation and that is what encourages me to go further.

In Jesus' name,


Amen

Wednesday, January 14, 2015

Prayer of thanks and gratefulness

Dear Heavenly Father,

What a difference a day or two makes!  I am so happy right now.  No matter what is going on right now, I will count it all joy.  I am sorry for the sins I have committed, however.  Help me to overcome those sins and show me what is a productive alternative to committing those sins.  Lord, You have given me the strength to do well in life, including letting a bothersome thought pass.  I have also been reminded that anything can be conquered, but with only You.  There is nothing else but You.  I am very joyful today and I am not anxious right now.  It feels great to be delivered not only from sin, which I am thankful, but I am thankful that I can finally overcome those stumbling blocks in my life. I can pull down strongholds.  I can tell You everything.  Most of all, I can thank You and praise that with You all is possible.  I would have never gotten to this point without You.  I praise You that because of You, I have become a more honest person.  I am forgiven and have learned how to forgive.  I have let go of the past and look forward to a bright future.  My negative thoughts are so far passing away.  Help me to take every negative and vain thought to Your obedience.  I thank You for the peace of mind that I have.  I feel amazing right now.  Thank You, for I am grateful.

Sincerely,


Letters to God

Tuesday, January 13, 2015

A positive and real message

Heavenly Father,

Help me to see that I am one of Your children.  Nothing is happening to me today.  I realize that this is a walk, and not a one-time thing.  Help me to serve You and love myself as I love You.  Give me the peace of mind and know that You are the One in control if me and in control of my life.  Help me to crucify myself with the Lord.  I have been overwhelmed lately and that has been rough for me.  I do wonder if the devil is trying to overwhelm me into thinking that I cannot and will not be able to accomplish what I set out to do.  Maybe that is the problem.  Nothing has gone against me.  No one is making fun of me.  No one is lying to me.  Living in the past produces no benefits or glory.  Help me to realize that I am living in a flawed, imperfect world where all of this will no exists.  I recognize that I have not always been positive or even realistic but my eyes were not opened.  I have seen that You love me and have a plan for me, though I have no understanding what is really going on.  I cannot help others and praying for their salvation if I were resentful, bitter and mad at myself, unforgiving, fearful, anxious, and so negative.  Forgive me, Father, for all of my sins, including the ones listed above.  I have also been doubtful towards You and I believe that it had something to do with how I feel about myself.  I have been learning a lot.  Thank You.

In Jesus' name,


Amen

Monday, January 12, 2015

Forgiveness and without doubt

Heavenly Father,

Forgive me for being unforgiving and resentful.  Jesus Christ saved and forgiven me.  I extend that love and forgiveness to others.  It would be hypocritical to not forgive.  It is something that could be tearing me apart, but I have to forgive.  Show me how to be more forgiving.  Convict me of this and all of other sins.  The roots of my unforgiveness has largely been myself.  I don't like and respect myself.  Because of this I have become fearful that others would harm me.  I have a hard time believing in the compliments that others gave me.  I don't usually believe that someone can see anything good in me, especially about my appearance.  I have been overwhelmed with being unforgiving, resentful, and self-conscious.  I felt trapped and alone.  I felt stepped on and walked over.  Other people have controlled me and I was losing the power I could have had.  I don't want to live this way for the rest of my life.  I wanted to be seen one way and that is what happened.  There was one incident in particular that triggered it.  I was a third grader; I was told that I was mean.  That is where I began to lose my self.  I still have troubles such as caring what others think.  I

 have given all of my power and all of my self to others.  I wonder if that is why believe I have no real identity. I wonder if I have any purpose.  I have worn my emotions and heart on my sleeve yet ironically I have kept things in.  I have often wondered things about me such as if I will truly change because the world says so.  I would like to know if there was a way I could overcome that.  I ask for anything that would involve a change in my life and in my personality meaning my concept of who and what I am.  I need Your council.  I sometimes isolate myself because I live in a fantasy world where I am stronger and wiser.  No one thinks I am ugly or stupid.  I have been called everything but a child of God.  I felt like and wonder if I have proven others right.  What is so sad and what is so ironic is that those same people probably don't care about me, as if I was a simpleton.  I was never the most popular kid in school nor was seemed to not have been well-liked in college.  I was often laughed at and unable to fit in.

How do I begin to change that?  Where do I begin?  Maybe it isn't really about me, but about You.  I was told by a student that I needed to change.  I felt I was never taken seriously.  I never gotten over the past and it has made me sad, alone, and unforgiving of myself and sometimes of others.  I am only filled with wonderment because I no clue about myself.  I find myself about to look back and believe that if only my life was different, how would things have turned out.  I have issues with myself and it took me until my 30s and 40s to see the picture clearly.  Show me what I need to begin. I have no clue what I am supposed to do.  Even the simplest of advice overwhelms me.  I have gotten stressed out and that worries me.  I have been stressful most of my life and I would like a change in my situation but I cannot do this all alone.  I need You.  I ask for Your forgiveness and Your cleansing and to envelop me with Your grace.  Teach me about grace and mercy.  You have extended it both to me.  Now if only I can extend it to myself and others.

I praise and give thanks to You for taking the time to not only read this but to answer my prayer.  I cannot take a joke.  I have become a stick in the mud.  Have people of the world ever respected or loved much less like me?  Am I a friend of the world or an enemy of God?  I have been convicted of this and I wonder if that is the case.  My desire is to be Your friend and to be an enemy of the world. Lord, help me to look forward and live in the past.  Physically I live in the present, but my mind and my heart are stuck in the past.  Sometimes I am lonely and feel lonely.  I need Your help.  I present myself and my request to You.

Give me the peace of mind that I so need.  Help me to not be anxious and not to worry.  Give me the love, power, and the sound mind that I so need.  My desire, Lord, is to be thankful, grateful, wise, and move forward.  Give me that direction that I am in need of.  I have asked for a sense of direction, but because I am stuck, I became doubtful.  I ask not only for an increase in faith, but also for forgiveness for being doubtful.  I pray all of this in the most sincerest of faith.  In the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit.

In Jesus' name,


Amen

Sunday, January 11, 2015

Unforgiveness and wonderment

Dear Heavenly Father,

I wonder if unforgiveness and fear are what causing these issues.  I am not sure and I am not sure to pray for dealing with unforgiveness, fear, and anxiety.  I have been having all of these issues for so long that I wonder if unforgiveness is the root cause of all of my issues.  Should I also get advice from a counselor as I have been isolated, resentful, and filled with guilt, condemnation, and self -consciousness?  I wonder if this too is a form of idolatry?  I have isolated myself to the point where I have been unable to apply what I have learned to any area of my life and also I am so isolated that I have had crushes and obsessions on other people, living or dead.  I sometimes think that I am not only lazy, but bitter, resentful, and just plain crazy.  Could even that stems from unforgiveness?  It is a sin that has been hard to deal with but so has life.  I need help.

In Jesus' name,

Amen

Saturday, January 10, 2015

How I really feel about myself

Dear Heavenly Father in name of Jesus Christ,

I have had difficulty communicating with other people. I wish that I were more honest in that area. I finally revealed that to God. I have low self-esteem and self-conscious of my weight. I know that I have to make small changes and be consistent with those small changes. I know that I need support and I wonder if getting support online would be just as good as going to the meetings? I have joined Weight Watchers recently and I realize now that a lack of communication is a problem. I have been bullied, gossiped about, talked down to, talked about, and rejection for years and I have no idea how to let the past go and forgive myself. I have forgiven others but I have not forgiven myself for allowing these things to happen.

I care so much what others think and I believe that it is quite a hurdle in losing weight. I have been insulted about my weight and it seems as if my feelings don't count. I know that I need to lose weight and I wish I didn't have to be reminded of that daily. I look in the mirror and I didn't like what I saw. I see nothing but physical limitations. I have PCOS and that makes it worse. I don't like having this problem, plus I am diabetic with high blood pressure, and high cholesterol.

How do I press forward in my weight loss journey by looking at things that are more positive, such as speaking better of myself for example? How do become less self-conscious? How can I be consistent in my weight loss journey? How do I forgive myself and communicate better with others? How do I no longer care what others think? How do I no longer see myself as an overweight, lazy person who have a series of bad thoughts because of my weight? What is your advice on what I need to do? I have been seeing a counselor and take my medication for years; should I change counselors and get a therapist instead?

Thank You for answering this prayer.

Amen

Friday, January 9, 2015

Jesus, I have issues to deal with

Lord Jesus Christ,

I thank You for saving me and giving me the assurance of my salvation.  I thank You for redeeming me.

I ask You for a few things, however.  I realized that losing weight is hard.  I am not doing well.  I am many points over the limit.  I am now worried about the weight gain that I may have to deal with.  I am disappointed and now I am also frustrated.  I don't want to quit.  I want to press toward the mark, whatever that may be.

I now wonder if I am losing weight for the right reasons.  I should lose weight because I have no business taking my health for granted.  I am not sure if that is the reason why I want to lose weight. I ask You for wisdom, guidance, and a sense of direction.  Guide me into all things.  I have a confession to make.  Everytime I ask You for wisdom, guidance, and a sense of wisdom, it is I am stuck.  I am having doubts about those things and I realize that that is a problem.  Forgive me for having those doubts.

I can ask for certain things and not for others.  I have doubts sometimes and at other times I don't know what to say.  I am not as strong as I would like or should like.  I know it is a spiritual issue. I also believe that my weight loss journey is also a spiritual issue.  I have been frustrated lately.  Give me the strength to overcome these issues that I have.

I have tried to plan things in advanced only to mess up.  I don't know how to change those issues. I don't know to apply things to me and my situation.  The situation is to lose weight through diet and exercise.  I have given up in the past and I have decided to do something about it, but what?  Where do I begin?  What do I need to do?

I don't wish to grow tired.  But the truth is I have.  How do I change this mindset?  I am not sure if what I am doing is the right thing for me.  I have all of the desire in the world to lose weight but I am worried that I won't do it.  I am self-conscious about my appearance and a change in my life would do the trick.

I can't even do the things or say things that I wish to do because of being made of and because of anxious thoughts that I have.  This has added to having low self-esteem.  I have no idea how to communicate with others.  Meetings and a support system would be hard for me no matter how beneficial they are to me.  I am in need of counsel and a support system but it requires transportation and learning how to communicate with others.  Where do I begin?  I have been told that other church members would be a good start, but would it be a good start for me?

I am not happy with myself and life hasn't been kind to me.  I have dealt with anxiety, scary thoughts, mood swings, and other health issues to deal with.  I realize that being non-compliant would not take me anywhere.  Also, it was a wake up call, being a non-compliant person.  I have been that way because I have procrastinating for a long time.  How do I change from someone who may been considered non-compliant to someone who is actually compliant?  My weight has gone up and down. I have had the same issues that I have dealt with for years and starting over or rather breaking a habit has been hard for me.  It doesn't help that I am not sure what I need to do and that I see myself as a lazy person who needs guidance.  I just need help.  I need Your help.  I ask further that You would strengthen my faith.  Help me, Jesus.  I ask that You would make me whole and wise.  I am filled with knowledge, but how do I apply that knowledge?  Where do I go from here?

In Jesus' name,


Amen

Thursday, January 8, 2015

Prayer of the assurance of salvation

Lord Jesus Christ,

You are the Son of God.  I believe with all of my heart that that Father rose You from the dead.  I call on Your name and I ask You to save me.  I repent of my sins, all of my sins.  I confess that I am a sinner in need of You.  Forgive me of all of my confessed sins.  I ask that You would change me and make me a new creation in You.  I ask that You would give me the assurance of my salvation.  I have not been assured that I have been of my sins and of my salvation.  I have done things that I am ashamed of.  I am struggling with sins in my life and I wish to overcome those sins.  I haven't always lived in a way that is pleasing You.  As I have mentioned earlier, I apologize for those and all of my sins.  I want to live a live a life that is pleasing to You.  I ask that You would not blot my name out of the Lamb's Book of Life.  

I ask that You would give me the wisdom that I need to live for You all of my days.  I also ask for a sense of direction in my life.  I also ask for guidance that I may and that I will be an over comer.  I have been anxious and disobedient for a long time.  I ask for peace of mind and know how to overcome and deal with anxiety as You show me how.  I have been disobedient and I repent of my disobedience toward You .  I feel guilt for all that I have done wrong.  I also ask that You would give me a great dependence on You; help me that I would praise You and that You would give me a pure heart, mind, and motives.  I know that I need, want, and desire to change.  I would like to walk the narrow road to eternal life.  I believe that time is short and that I would like to serve You not just before time is short but also because of my love for You.  Help me to abstain even from the appearance.of evil.  Help me to make godly plans and to not forget who I am and where I came from.  I know that I am not a perfect person; help me to be perfected.  I love You and I receive You as Lord and Savior.  I thank You and I praise You that You are Lord and that my soul has been saved.

In Jesus' name, 

Amen

Wednesday, January 7, 2015

Assessing my life: Yes or No

Lord,

I have engaged in mindless eating for many years, including today.  Help me to take an assessment of my health and my life overall.  I don't know why I engage in such mindless eating.  Sure the food is good, but like I have said, the food doesn't love me back.  As a result, my stomach hurts.  I am not feeling that well.  First I had a hurt back from all of the exercise.  Now I have a stomach ache from probably all of the food that I have consumed.  I ask that You would give me guidance today so that I will spiritually press toward the goal that You have set out for me that I may act, think, feel, and do what a Christian is supposed to be like.  Give me not only the wisdom, but the opportunity to be the believer that You called me to be.  There are times when I don't know who I am.  Fill me with Your Holy Spirit.  Show me who I am and what His plan for me is.

I also tend to procrastinate.  I realize that that it probably stems from having self esteem issues.  I thought going at it alone would help me because I tend to do things in secret.  On the other hand, I ask You for Your wise counsel.  I need a support system to help me deal with the issues that are at hand.  I wish I knew what I could do.  Help me to do what my mind thinks is hard.  I don't follow all of my plans nor do I take the time to make an assessment of things.  Do You believe that taking a long hard look at myself and making assessments would be productive?  If not, then show me what to do, for I am clueless.

I need You.  I ask that You would help me overcome mindless eating.  Help me to overcome being overwhelmed.  Help me to do things one at a time.  I will bless You at all times.  I praise You, Lord. I also thank You for answering this prayer.

In Jesus' name,


Amen

Tuesday, January 6, 2015

I need God's help to be like the tortoise, not the hare

Father,

Help me.  Guide me as I pray.  I would like to change things in my life.  My heart is not pure and my mind is not clean.  I am asking for Your forgiveness.  I know that I tend to have a perfectionist mindset.  I have no idea how to change things.  I don't just "want to start over".  My goal is to move forward especially in my weight loss and spiritual journeys.  I pray for wisdom in that I would use my education and thus knowledge to apply myself as You show me how.  That has been the problem for many, many years.  I don't wish to stop saying stuff and move on, since it has not been so easy.  I would like to assess things and see that I do have a better handle on things that I realize.  I would like to see that for myself.  I ask that You would open my eyes that I may see what is ahead of me so that I can make decisions toward the right direction.  In other words, help me to see things that are ahead of me.  Help me to spiritually set the mark into a higher calling.  Help me to be like the tortoise, where he was slow but won the race.  He seemed to be a lot more humble than the rabbit who was faster but the turtle took his time (though he is a turtle after all).  Show me how to apply those lessons to my daily life.  I thank You for answering this prayer and I believe and praise You for being the Lord.;


In Jesus' name,


Amen

Monday, January 5, 2015

Closer Walk

God,

Forgive me of all of my sins.  Help me and teach me about repentance.  I have difficulty understanding the true meaning of repentance as it is written in Your word.  I ask for a closer walk with You.

In Jesus' name,


Amen

Friday, January 2, 2015

A more positive, realistic outlook

Dear Heavenly Father,

Help me to overcome being impatient.  Help me to live and live a healthy lifestyle.  Help me to live that lifestyle one moment at a time.  I tend to see the bigger picture instead of what is ahead of me. That is one of many issues that I am writing about.  My lack of patience is an issue that I need help in.  I would like to be a more patient and wise person.  I realize and have faith that patience is a virtue.  It will be an even bigger virtue.  A lack of patience and foresight is an issue of why I gain weight back.  Show me what I need to do.  I am overwhelmed with seeing things as I want them instead of what is real.  Show me to be a positive yet realistic person who doesn't see anything but flaws.  I don't want to be impatient and admit to things that are negative for the sake of trying to be positive.  I thought that admitting to things could cause me to become more positive because I am telling the truth.  The irony is, admitting to things are a sign of being even more negative.  So I don't wish to admit anything.  I want to be honest and tell You how I feel without always be so negative and without always be down on myself.  Help me, Lord, to overcome those things that need to be overcome.  I thank You and I praise You for answering this prayer,

In Jesus' name,


Amen

Thursday, January 1, 2015

Being an over comer against being overwhelmed

Dear Heavenly Father,

I admit that there are some things that I need to change.  I am sometimes afraid of change.  I have a difficult time because I am not a patient person and I have been overwhelmed.  It is as if I have to do things instead of wanting to do things or taking action.  I am being honest here because the best prayers are the most honest ones.  I am here to write how I really feel.  I got this from a song I have heard: to tell You how I really feel.  I am concerned that I will never ever get over this frustration and ironically that is making me overwhelmed.  It is like a cycle of being frustrated, being sick and tired, and being overwhelmed.  For a while I was self-conscious about my weight and my appearance. That is how I felt today.  My stomach was huge.  In fact, my stomach was hanging down.  I never had that issue until a few years ago.  I feel guilty about gaining so much weight over the years.  I try but I don't feel like I am a beautiful person, physically or otherwise.  Whenever others tell me I'm pretty or when someone gives me a compliment, at times I find it hard to believe or even to trust.  I believe that it is my fault for allowing things to happen that overwhelm me.

 Lord, I ask for peace of mind and for patient.  Help me to just relax and take things slow.  I am not so sure how to do that but at times I feel like I am powerless to do anything.  I want to be more positive but I have been so overwhelmed over the past few years.  I would like to change now more than ever.  I ask for total healing of my body and mind.  I also ask that You would take away my anxiety and remove all of my fears and doubts.  I have been filled with fear for a long time and I would like to overcome that.  I ask that You would take this away from me so that I could just relax.  I have a hard time relaxing and I don't really know why, but I would like to overcome stress more than anything.  I also ask that You would help me to be more positive and to see things in a more positive instead of negative light, no matter how my admittance of things are that actually reinforce the negativity in my life and in my thoughts.  Help me, Lord, to change that.  Forgive me for all of my sins.  I also ask that You would take all of this frustration and being overwhelmed.  Change me.  I surrender my cares and concerns over to You.  Thank You for answering my prayers.  I praise You for the peace of mind that You have given me.  Thank You for allowing me to present my requests to You.  Thank You for giving me the peace of mind that I so desperately need.

In Jesus' name,


Amen