Sunday, August 31, 2014

Mindless eating

Dear Heavenly Father,

I have been overwhelmed by problems that are troublesome today.  I was anxious today and I turn those problems over to You.  Thank You that You will take care of the problem as well as taking care of me.  I also tend to eat mindlessly and I believe that I am in a manic state.  I feel horrible about being a glutton.  I don't think that I am an emotional eater but I do tend to overeat at times.  It seems freeing but in the end, I will end up gaining weight.  I am ashamed of putting up all of the foods that I ate.  I have to be honest no matter what.  Continue to help me and take care of me.  Thank You for doing so.

Sincerely,


Letters to God

Saturday, August 30, 2014

Prayer of thanks

Dear Heavenly Father,

I love You, and I thank You.  Thank You for Your guidance and Your wisdom.  Thank You for discernment and I thank You for answered prayer.  I praise You, Lord.  Thank You.

Sincerely,


Letters to God

Friday, August 29, 2014

Thank God for answered prayer

Dear Heavenly Father,

Thank You.  This has been a good day so far.  You have heard my prayers.  You know what is going on.  I am thankful that You know me and I know You.  I feel so much better.  I had some rough moments but I made it because of You and for that, I am thankful.

In Jesus' name,

Amen

Tuesday, August 26, 2014

Ultimate in thanks

Dear God,

Thank You for everyday I am alive.  I am totally and utterly grateful.  Thank You.

Sincerely,


Letters to God

Monday, August 25, 2014

No longer sluggish

Dear God,

Thank You for coffee.  A little bit goes a long way into beating sluggishness.  I am here but it seems like I was barely here.  I tried to fight sluggishness even during exercise early this morning.  This will be the final morning that I exercise at the hospital.  At least for the time being.  I will have to exercise at home or somewhere else from now on.  But in a way I am relieved since this morning the thought of my going out all week was something I dreaded.  I can no longer go to the gym that way because I cannot afford the ride to and from the hospital.  I just hope that I am not too out of shape to walk or too sluggish to do anything else. Exercise is not easy but it isn't drudgery either even though it felt this way this morning.  Lord, thank You for taking care of me.

Sincerely,


Letters to God

Sunday, August 24, 2014

Feeling a bit sluggish

Dear God,

Today has been meh to say the least.  It has been as slow moving as I have been.  I don't know what is going on.  I am just feeling sluggish and tired and I have no idea how to get out of the funk that I have been in most of this past weekend.  Tomorrow I will go to the gym to work out and I will go to appointments for the rest of the week.  Lord, Give me strength.

Sincerely,


Letters to God

Saturday, August 23, 2014

Dizzy and tired

Lord,

Give me the strength and energy that I need to make it through the course of a day.  I have been so tired and so dizzy lately.  I believe it is the medication.  Anyways, I feel like there is a roadblock everywhere I turn. Maybe that is no accident.  Nobody is immune.  Nobody is problem-free.  I will make it though.  Thank You for making that possible.

In Jesus' name,


Amen

Friday, August 22, 2014

Being free

Dear Heavenly Father,

Thank You for setting me free.  I am worried now that nothing seems to be going on.  I don't wish OCD on anyone.  It is hard for anyone who suffers from it.  I know that there are worse diseases out there but I don't think anyone should joke about having OCD.  Nothing about it is funny.  I ask for total and complete healing of OCD not just for myself, but also for other sufferers.  It is a serious condition that isn't life threatening but it is debilitating at its worst.  It could have been that way.  Ironically it has been a blessing in that it has drawn me closer to You.  I do wonder if it has been a part of Your plan all along.  Thanks.

Sincerely,


Letters to God

Thursday, August 21, 2014

Wednesday, August 20, 2014

Peace of mind

Dear Lord,

Thank You.  You are good and have been good to me.  I am listening to a song about getting my house in order.  I look forward to Your return.  I am just a happy, content person today and I thank You.  You have given me peace of mind.  I wasn't sure if it was too good to be true.  I need help walking in the freedom I haven't felt in so long.  I am a "perfectionist" of sorts and that was one of the underlying issues that I have to deal with.  I can't change the past and I would like to change everything else, but the problem is I don't have the power to change anyone else.  I had the whole world's burdens on my shoulders and that is one of the issues that I have had.  I ask that You would continue to lift those burdens from off of my shoulders.  Lord, give me rest.  Thank You for doing so.


Sincerely,


Letters to God

Tuesday, August 19, 2014

A reminder

Dear Heavenly Father,

I ask that You would remind me of who I am in You.  I know that like all of us, I need to prioritize my life. I need You to remind me that I need to get my house in order.  In short, You are my first Priority.  I do wonder if everything else will fall in place.  There are a lot of things that I don't understand, but I do understand that You will return.  I look forward to Your return.  Forgive me of all of my sins.  I ask You for wisdom so that I may not sin.  Where do I begin to get my house in order?  What "room" is the messiest? Where do I need to start?  Cleanse me from secret faults.  There have been a lot of things that I am not sure about but I am thankful that You have all of the answers.  Set a watch over my mouth.  Lord, may I walk in the Spirit and may I be a salt and light to the world.

In Jesus' name,


Amen

Monday, August 18, 2014

Thankfulness and intercession

Father God,

In the Name of Jesus, I thank You for everything that You have done for me and my family.  I pray for protection and wisdom.  I need guidance and truth.  I thank You that You would guide me into all truth.  I pray for justice and peace in the lands.  There is so much that is going on in the world.  That is the thing with the OCD, I felt like I had the burden of the whole world on my shoulders.  I don't wish to be selfish and the OCD taught me that I could be self-centered but not so selfish that I had to worry about it.  It also taught me to be more compassionate yet somewhat judgmental at the same time, if that makes any sense.  I have learned much from the OCD.  I felt guilty at one time for having it. I believe that the worst is finally over and for that, I am thankful.  I no longer have this burden on my shoulders.  This is the first time in years that I finally felt free.  You have answered my prayers and I am grateful.  I intercede for those who are in war zones, who are oppressed, who are refugees, and those who lost their loved ones.  They are the ones who truly need You.  Be there for them and give them comfort.  Show them that You know them and love them. They may even have questions.  I ask that You would answer them, Lord.  Give them the kind of closure that they so seek and may there be justice on their behalf.   Thank You, Lord, for answering this prayer.

Amen

Saturday, August 16, 2014

Getting my mind in the game, sort of speak

Dear Lord,

Help me to lose weight and when I do, help me to realize that this is a journey.  I have to keep up with what I have learned.  Help me to not only love, but to respect myself.  I have done enough negative self-talk and it has hindered my weight loss.  I wonder if I were to learn to love myself then I could lose the weight and keep it off by living a healthy lifestyle.  I didn't fully understand the concept of a healthy lifestyle until now.  There is so much that I have to learn and that is not easy.  Help me to do the things that I believe are not easy. Thankfully with You, all things are possible and that nothing is too hard for You.  I believe that I need to learn to love and respect myself and with You even that is possible.  Help me to see myself as a beautiful person, inside and out.  After all, Your Word says that I am fearfully and wonderfully made.

Thank You, Lord

In Jesus' name,


Amen

Friday, August 15, 2014

Longing

Dear Heavenly Father,

I definitely look forward to Jesus' return.  I long for His return.  I am here to say that I thank Him for saving me and for His grace and mercy.  Both grace and mercy endure forever.  I am not sure what You have in store for me, but I know that You have plans that are greater that I cannot imagine.  I know that they are greater than I what I can dream up.  Thank You that I have a purpose for living here.  Thank You for saving me.

In Jesus' name,

Amen

Thursday, August 14, 2014

Thank You, Jesus

Dear Jesus,

Thank You for saving me.  I ask that I will be transformed due to the renewal of my mind.  What is it that I need to repent of?  Cleanse me from secret sins and secret faults.  Set a watch over my mouth and my mind. Help me to guide my heart with all diligence. I know that out of it flow the issues of life.  Help me to understand what that means.  There are a lot of things that I don't understand.  I hope to do so one day. Show me how to apply Your word to my daily life so that I may not sin.  I know that I have sin in me and that I will sin but I won't take ungodly advantage of Your grace.  However, I feel like I have done so, and for that, I am sorry and I ask for Your forgiveness.  Thank You for all that You have done for me.  Thank You for guiding me with Your Eye.  I praise You, Lord.  Thank You, Jesus.

In Your name,

Amen

Wednesday, August 13, 2014

Getting caught up in the Lord

Dear Heavenly Father,

Help me to live a life that is pleasing to You.  I feel like I haven't lived up to my potential.  Actually I haven't lived up to Your potential.  I feel like I have failed not only myself, but You.  I have no idea how to live for You in these days.  If You were to come back, and I was raptured up to Heaven, I wouldn't know what to say.  I will be judged of course but I have my doubts of receiving a reward.  What kind of reward would I receive?  I guess because I have been caught up in the things of the world and have been obsessed with what to watch on television.  Help me to overcome this obsession for it is bothersome.  I feel like at times that I am fighting a losing battle.  Anxiety due of obsessive thoughts are not a good feeling to have.  I ask that in those times that You would give me peace of mind.  I certainly need it in those days.  I long for Your return and I still do.  Give me the patience to wait.  Thank You, Lord, for Your answers.

In Jesus' name,

Amen

Tuesday, August 12, 2014

Feeding an obsession

Dear Heavenly Father,

Help me.  Help me to not feed my obsessive thoughts.  I realize that I have to learn to accept my thoughts as just that: thoughts.  It took me long enough.  I have done the inevitable: I decided that these thoughts are just thoughts and that they don't control me.  I won't let them control me.  I have spent too much time on things that are irrelevant.  Give me rest and peace of mind, Lord, that I may resist the temptation to allow those thoughts to overpower me.  Give me wisdom that I may know how to handle the fear that I have now.  It is about a fictional character who I believe may be more adulterous that I thought but I haven't watched the show.  I have an obsession with TV and adultery.  Your Word says that I will set no wicked thing before my eyes and that may qualify as setting no wicked thing before my eyes.  Help me to guard my heart with all diligence and my eyes as well.  Give me the strength to overcome this so that I won't feed the obsession.

Thankfully,


Letters to God

Sunday, August 10, 2014

Stories to relate to

Dear Heavenly Father,

I can relate to the stories of the people of the show "My 600-lb. Life".  Granted, I don't weigh over 500 pounds, but I do have struggles with my weight.  One of the things that scare me is that I will never get healthy.  I don't want to take my health for granted.  I feel horrible for those who are in need.  They are "trapped" in their own bodies and that is so sad.  I am not trapped nor do I feel trapped but sometimes it is as if my body is failing.  I know some of it is aging but some of it is other things.  It is stressing me out.  Help me to deal with the stress that comes with having a multitude of conditions not to mention worry and anxiety. What does Your Word say about the situation I am in?  I ask for wisdom, guidance, and healing.  I thank You for healing me and giving me guidance and wisdom.


Sincerely,


Letters to God

Saturday, August 9, 2014

Being realistic

Lord,

I just read through a blog entry about women being comfortable in their own skin.  The truth is, I do want to lose weight.  But I don't know what You think about it.  I cannot do this on my own.  I need someone to hold me accountable but I wonder if they were to have the same goal in mind as I do.  Where would I go to find a person?

I am motivated but I am overwhelmed at the same time.  Losing weight I have discovered is not a puzzle.  It isn't about trying to fit pieces together.  It is about something else.  It is about wanting to be whole, whatever that means.  I am not content right now.  I am not happy or healthy.  I don't like the way I look.  I feel guilty about gaining all more than 100 pounds over the years.

But I also wonder why?  Why do I feel guilty?  Life was never problem-free for me.  I was either bullied, teased, gossiped about, disliked, or feeling down regardless of my size.  I would however, like to feel better about myself.  What scares me most is the world around me.  Would they see me any differently than they do now?  How would they see me?  How will I be?  If I were to weigh what I did 20-25 years ago, would I still be happy?

Am I happier now?  I can truly relate to this blog.  I do want to lose weight but I want to do this for me.  I have an appointment this week and I am concerned that I won't have anything to show for it, which I don't.  The truth of the matter is, I have not produced any results that I am proud of.  My diet isn't healthy and I don't exercise enough, apparently.  I have gotten lazier and more clueless over the years.  That may not be the case, but that is how I am feeling at the moment.

I don't know what I am doing.  I am asking for guidance.  I am too stressed out about my health and that is making my health worse I think.  Things are not improving because I am not improving.  I am just not trying.  My thinking is all wrong and it is time that I open my eyes, which is what I ask for You to do.  Lord, open my eyes that I will able to see for I lack wisdom and I am blind.

Help me to set a realistic goal for myself and I trust You.  I leave everything in Your hand.

In Jesus' name,


Amen

Friday, August 8, 2014

Thursday, August 7, 2014

Heartfelt prayer

Dear Heavenly Father,

I need help.  Help me to see all sin, mine and others, not as just wrong but detestable in Your sight.  I want to change because that is my desire.  I need help shielding my eyes and guarding my heart with all diligence. I know that from it flows the issues of life.  I am not so sure what that means but I have an idea.  I have ideas and theories but I don't know if they are truths.  That is my issue.

There is so much lying and confusion in the world.  Help me to better discern truth from lies.  I want to "stay the course" but I have so much trouble seeing things as You would have me to see them.  I am bound by the truth but I live in a world full of lies.  I am just writing what is in my mind and in my heart.

I am no angel and I am certainly not the Christ who died for the world's sins.  I am just me, a sinner who needed a Savior.  I still need the Savior.  I feel like I am in an uphill battle not just for my soul, but for my mind.  It has been hard and rocky.  Everything seems so hard not because I make it hard but because I lack wisdom.

I have these issues that overwhelm me and I feel so lonely.  For instance, I am a glutton.  I have an overeating problem that stems from way back.  I would like to change and repent from that, but I don't know how.  I am not trying to cover up abuse or feel bad about myself.  I don't think I eat out of emotion or boredom, but I am not so sure why I eat so much.  Eating healthy is a lifelong struggle.  I don't want to diet but the healthy lifestyle thing isn't working.  All I know is that I want to truly lose weight with a lofty goal in mind and keep it off.  Show me where I need to begin.  Help me be wise as I ask You for wisdom.

Help me and guide me.  I am a sinner still but saved by grace.  Thank You for saving me.  I admit that I sound like a broken record.  That is an issue that I face daily.  There are times when I can make a different set of choices and make a different set of mistakes.  I need guidance and a sense of direction in my life.  I am bored of what I consider the daily grind.  What makes it all so confusing is the pleasure that I get from this yet I hate it at the same time.  It is a vicious cycle that I would like to get out of.  Vicious cycles are things that I seem to specialize in.

Please, Jesus, I need healing not only from sickness but from sinful thoughts and sinful thinking.  May I leave the past behind and may I look to the future whatever future that may be.  What is my future?  As of now, is it a bright one?  I hope so.  I feel like a hamster spinning in its wheel.  It is a cycle I cannot get out of.  One wonders how the hamster is feeling running in that wheel.  He or she has got to be bored.  That is how I feel.  I need and want and desire to change and make a change, but I don't know how.  Lord, give me focus and show me where I need to begin.

I realize that change begins with me but I know also that I cannot make it without You.  I need You to take care of me.

Sincerely,


Letters to God

Wednesday, August 6, 2014

OCD

Dear Heavenly Father,

Thank You .  You have answered my prayers.  Thank You.  You have saved me.  Thank You, Lord, for Your mercy endures forever.

It took me a while to understand and discover this.  I realize that it has been a while since I have read Your word.  It is making me anxious and I know why.  The woman in this case is rather promiscuous and promiscuous women make me nervous.  How should I see a promiscuous woman, especially if she is married?  How should I see a promiscuous man, especially if he is married?

What is wrong with me?  How can I see the eternal when the temporary is so strong?  Why do I have obsessive compulsive disorder period?  I admit that spiritually it is a blessing but other than that, it has been anything but a blessing.  I wish all of this insight could help me sometimes.  I guess all I can do is remember that these thoughts are about over-concerning myself with the worst case scenario.

What is the worst case scenario?  The worst thing I can think of is that a promiscuous wife who is uncaring, unfeeling, and just a bad all-around person.  She may have married for love or may not have but I realize that women in my worst case scenario are in the minority.  What is wrong with me, Lord?  Why me, Lord?  I am not in a relationship.  I have never been in a relationship so I never cheated.  I am not even worried about someone cheating on me.  So why do I have these particular thoughts?  I guess it is part of the disorder where there is uncertainty.  I have been trying to figure that out quite a bit for the last seven years and the truth is, I will never know the exact answer.

How do I truly approach these obsessive thoughts?  How do I apply Your word to these obsessive thoughts?  Do I stand in agreement with the OCD Persona?  Is the persona a principality or a figment of my imagination?  Where do I begin from here?  How do I become healed of having OCD?  How do I keep from ruminating and asking questions?  How do I focus on what is real and true and pure in the midst of obsessive thoughts while living in a sinful world?

Sincerely,


Letters to God

Tuesday, August 5, 2014

Life everlasting

Dear Heavenly Father,

Show me the way.  I have made some mistakes in my life that I have felt guilty about.  I have done wrong in my life.  I confess that I am a sinner and I ask for forgiveness of all of my sins.  I also ask that You would cleanse me of my guilt and my unrighteousness.

I want and need to be obedient to You.  You have asked or mentioned that why do some call Him Lord and do not obey Him.  That is a good question.  I have not always obeyed Him and His teachings and for that, I am sorry.  A person who is guilty of breaking one law is guilty of breaking all of our laws.  I wonder if that is what You meant.

I do know is that obedience is better than sacrifice according to the Old Testament.  Your word stresses obedience.  When all of this over and when the eternal reality "sets in" I would like to know if my name is found in the Lamb's Book of Life.  I look forward to Your return.  I long for Your return but my heart is troubled however.

There seems to be unfinished business that I need to take care of here.  There are struggles that I seem to lose in.  With You all things are possible.  I need Your wisdom and strength in these days, for I do look forward to Your return.  Show me where to begin starting today in this life so that for certain, I would not be troubled in this life.  Give me the wisdom to begin to understand what my standing with You is, for I have had doubts for many years.

I think the OCD is what brought me closer to You and that is a blessing in disguise.  Give me a renewed mind and faith and may it be provided for me daily.  Help me to understand the things that seem impossible here but not in the eternal.  Draw me closer to You, Lord, for I look forward to Your return.  I thank You for saving me.

In Jesus' name,

Amen

Monday, August 4, 2014

Issues of being fat and also of harming others

Dear Heavenly Father,

Thank You.  I sometimes wonder why I have these obsessive thoughts.  Today however, I wonder if this cycle will ever end.  I brought this on myself because I didn't shield my eyes from what I was watching online.  It is said that curiosity killed the cat.  I am alive but my curiosity got the best of me.  I was watching disturbing footage of women being tortured and gang raped.  I pray for rape victims in that they would not be alone and that they would be overcome with love and support.  I don't wish to imagine being a rape victim.  I am not sure I can bear it.  I also pray for those rapists in that they would be forgiven by Jesus Christ and that they shall receive them.  May the Holy Spirit convict them of their sins and may those who are rape victims get their justice and also closure.  Rape is a abominable crime and no man, woman, or child deserves to be raped.

I also have reservations about my diet as it is poor.  I guess I focus too much on it but I hope to lose weight and keep it off.  However, my poor eating habits are hindering me from reaching my goals.  I also at times overeat and eat mindlessly.  I cannot just eat anything I want without consequences.  I am a diabetic with PCOS who is approaching 40 and I am having health problems.  Sure I feel like I brought my health on myself yet it could also be a genetic or hormonal thing as well.  I don't like it when a fat person has to explain why they gain weight.  A person gains weight for a number of reasons.  It is not the healthiest thing to be, but it is not the worst thing to be.  Character and spirituality are what counts, not how much one weighs.  I live in a society in which people do discriminate, stereotype, mock, and judge fat people.  What is wrong with the word fat?

The truth is, some people are fat.  A fat person is not full figured, they are fat.  Fat should not be an insult.  It should  be a descriptor and only a small part of who a person is.  This isn't about politics.  This is about a person being healthy.  A person who is too fat or too skinny is at greater risk for health problems.  This is true.  It is up to the person who is too fat or too skinny to lose or gain weight, not other people, including the government.  It isn't or should not be an issue of character or religious belief.  A person who is skinny or "average" sized can be "unattractive", lack moral character, or be a glutton.  It is one thing for a person to lose weight for their overall fitness and health.  It is another thing to judge someone because of their weight and make assumptions.  Why does fat shaming be considered okay in some circles including among Christians?  Why is it anyone else's business why one is fat?

I am full-figured, or skinny, curvy, or plus-sized.  I am fat, but that is only a part of who I am.  I like to exercise, write, use the computer, pray, and listen to music.  I need to lose weight because I am too fat. I am short and I am considered medically obese, so obesity is unhealthy.  I have extra weight, but that doesn't make me less of a believer, less loving, less spiritual, or having low self-esteem.  Should a fat person accept his or herself regardless of size?  It is okay but I focus on health.  I just think there is just too much fat shaming instead of focusing on health, fitness, and overall well-being.  It isn't about special treatment.  It is about being respectful of other people's right fat, curvy, obese, skinny, etc.

Lord, I wish that our world wouldn't be so cruel.  I get my feelings hurt because of my weight.  I feel like I am ostracized sometimes because I am fat.  People can be cruel and judgmental.  I live in such a society. I pray that our society would not treat a fat person as expecting special treatment but as a fellow human being with feelings, rights, and a human being who is intelligent, wise, and have moral character.  Can a fat person be healthy and respect themselves as they are?  In this society, many people would say no, but I guess it depends on the person, who is the one who makes the ultimate decision to lose weight.  Obesity is a major health issue I agree.

I just don't like all of the fat shaming and judging.  Having said all of that, I would like to lose weight and be healthy.  That doesn't mean that I should be valued any less because I am fat.  Fat should not be a curse word in our society.  I don't want, need, or expect special treatment.  No one should be mocked or be considered less than because of their size.  I would like for that to happen to our society.  This is supposed to be a society with many professing Christians, but what happened?  I pray for our nation and our society in general that we in the Church would treat one another with decency and respect.  Help us who are fat to lose weight but for ourselves and our own health.  May we pray for one another brother or sister in Christ who is fat and wishes to lose weight.  We have to make our own choices and we all have to remember that we will stand in front of You one day, fat or thin, and give an account of how we treat others, fat or thin.  One doesn't to Hell because they are judgmental.  They will end up taking their part in the Lake of Fire in the future because they are saved and have walked the narrow road or forever lost because they walked the broad road.  That is all I have to say.  Thank You for giving me the opportunity to express myself.

In Jesus' name,

Amen

Sunday, August 3, 2014

Adultery prayer

Dear Heavenly Father,

The same grace You extended to the adulterous woman in John 8 is the grace You extended to me.  Thank You for saving me and for Your mercy as well.  Today I realized that I am not totally well and that is a sad thing.  Maybe I thought I was okay but I am not.  I overate, and I did things I knew were wrong and for that, I am sorry.  I am guilty and I don't feel good about what I did.  Forgive me of those sins.  Now I understand what Jesus meant when He said to go and sin no more.  He extended love, grace, and respect to a woman who was humiliated and degraded because of how she was treated by the Pharisees.  I have wondered about this woman.  Was she a married woman?  Did she sleep with married men?  Was she a prostitute? Was she promiscuous?  I have realized something about myself and that is not something I am proud of.  I want to change because I know I need to change.  I have allowed the "Persona" to take over at times.  I am just as judgmental as she is of women who cheat, but not of men who do the same thing.  Despite my views, I know that they were wrong.  Both sexes who cheat are wrong, but I realize in my mind and in my heart that no matter who they sleep with, how many they sleep with, and why, You forgive those who have repented and judge those who don't.  I know that Jesus will one day judge us all and I need to realize those things.

Life is too short for me to concentrate on something that I actually have never experienced.  Help me to count it all joy during times like these.  How do I count it all joy?  I have obsessive thoughts still but I have to see that a promiscuous person is not deserving of salvation, but neither am I.  No one deserving of salvation, but Jesus died on the cross for us all, whether it is someone like me or a promiscuous married woman.  I will never know and that is what is bothering me.  I tend to make a big deal over whether or not a woman who is married is promiscuous or will get caught in the very act.  But You died for promiscuous spouses just like You died for me.  Help me to keep that in mind.  Also, help me keep in mind that who I am obsessing with may be rare and I tend to think about the worse case scenario.

What scares me is that the wife would be an uncaring, unloving, narcissistic, or shallow spouse who has at least one or many affairs.  I excuse spouses who cheat for some reason.  No man or woman should cheat regardless of the reason.  I am wrong for that as well.  I need to count it all joy.  I ask that You would remind me that You will arrive for Your church and that You would judge all of us soon or at least quickly.  I fear promiscuity in wives and that is none of my business what others do.  I feel like a nosy neighbor who wants to know everything about everybody and the truth is, I will never know and that is bothersome to me.  I want to know all of the details.  Lord, remind me that the truth is, it is okay that I will never know.  Doing "research" is a total waste of time.  I want to get better.. Lord, heal me.  I thank You for Your healing touch.

In Jesus' name,

Amen

Friday, August 1, 2014

I need to stop this cycle

Dear Heavenly Father,

How do I let the thoughts pass?  I am confused.  How do I not allow myself to be anxious yet I am also allow myself to feel the anxiety?  I need Your help and Your wisdom that I may know what I am doing on this planet.  I need Your guidance that I may follow what You have me to do.  I don't want to feel this way at all.  I don't want to make a big deal out of trivial matters but that is what I do every single time.  Help me to see the eternal significance of all of my decisions.  All I ask is that I need to know that I can overcome this. Why, Lord, why?  I want to obey You.  Now I am afraid that my sleep will be disrupted because of this. Take this fear away from me.  Take away these obsessions and compulsions.  I no longer "need" them anymore.  I am tired of them. I want to be free of them.  I pray for those who I obsess about.  I need You at the moment.  I need immediate assistance.  Thank You that You are greater than all of my help.

In Jesus' name,


Amen