Tuesday, June 30, 2015

Feeling overwhelmed

Lord,

Jesus, this is my issue.  I listen too much to other people and now I have been sidetracked.  Now I am not sure what I need to do.  I have been overwhelmed as of late and I would like to know how to overcome being overwhelmed.  All I know is to follow a daily plan and a daily goal.  I tend to budget too much and my list has been too long.  I ask You, Lord, for wisdom in this situation.  I also ask that You would guide me so that I will have peace.  Guide me with Your Eye, for I am in need of You.  What should I do when it comes to exercise?  I want to exercise but not everyday.  It is as if my life depends on it.  Right now, I am struggling to exercise and I am in pain.  Father, I ask You for Your help, for I no longer doubt You.  I am sorry I ever did.

Thank You.  In  Jesus' name, Amen.

Sunday, June 28, 2015

Another prayer for Andy

Lord,

I am not too worried about Andy.  I have been told that either she has been the same or that she is doing better.  My hope and prayer is that she doesn't get put down.  I love Andy and I just don't like the idea of a dog being put down, especially in this case.  I also ask for a continued healing of this said dog.  She is just so cute.  It wouldn't matter if she were an ugly dog.  Her looks don't matter.  Her personality does.  I don't want to miss her.  Thank You for answering this prayer.

In Jesus' name,


Amen

Saturday, June 27, 2015

Prayer for Andy

Lord,

I pray that Andy will be healed.  I don't want Andy to leave this planet, especially right now.  Right now, she is standing up, or at least she is trying.  I have the confidence that Andy will be okay.  Because of Andy, Riley, and Charlie, I have learned to appreciate dogs more and more.  I also love my cat.  His name is Tango.  He is quite the interesting kitty.  He is the same age as Charlie.  The dogs have personalities of their own.  As I mentioned earlier, I don't want Andy to leave this planet.  Andy is definitely in need of a miracle.  I know that You are a God of miracles and I ask for a miracle for Andy.  I cannot imagine this world without her, even though she isn't my dog.  I have a hard time and I am concerned that my prayers about healing don't get answered.  Give me the wisdom that I so need so that this prayer will be answered.  Forgive me for my lack of faith.  Help me with that, Lord.  Andy is in dire need of healing.  I need a dog who follows me whenever I have food and drink in my hand.  Andy is quite the interesting dog.  I am asking for healing for her.  It isn't time for her to go.

In Jesus' name,


Amen

Wednesday, June 24, 2015

Knowing the Lord watches over me

Dear Heavenly Father,

I am supposed to be an ambassador in Jesus Christ.  I admit that I haven't always acted in that way.  I would like to be ready for Jesus' return more than anything.  Jesus I believe will come back soon.  He isn't what the world presents him as.  It is rather a local scope on who Jesus really is.  He is Lord and Savior, but He is the God of Justice.  I thank You for saving me and for drawing me closer to You.  Thank You for saving me.

In Your name,


Amen

Sunday, June 21, 2015

Thanksgiving prayer

Heavenly Father,

Thank You for listening to me.  Thank You for loving me.  Thank You for saving me.

In Jesus' name,

Amen

Saturday, June 20, 2015

Humble prayer

Lord Jesus,

Have mercy on me, a sinner.

In Your name, Amen

Friday, June 19, 2015

Challenging myself

Father God,

I ask that You would remind me to continually challenge myself..  That is my lesson for today: challenging myself.  That is my fear for today.  I need help.  I have no idea how to keep challenging myself to the point where I can overcome my fears.  I get overwhelmed.  I know that I have received support, but  I also thank You for Your answer.  I ask for guidance and the strength to overcome my fears.  I realize that I need to face them head on.

Thank You for answering this prayer.

In Jesus' name,

Amen.

Thursday, June 18, 2015

Prayer for wisdom and for the tragedy that occurred in Charleston.

Lord,

Help me to continue to be wise.  Guide me with that wisdom.  Also I ask that You would help me to learn and gain that knowledge that I so need.  That is how I feel about my health.  I have become self-conscious about my health for a while now.  I know that it is time I do something about it.  The last thing I want to do is become overwhelmed and quit.  Right now, I am overwhelmed, but I have come too far to want to quit. I quit Weight Watchers for that reason.  Maybe I did the right thing by quitting.  However, I quit too much. All I had to do was make small changes and learn from them.  It is no use to go back.  It is also no  use to cry about anything.  Just keep moving forward.  Lord, help me to move forward, and I thank You for doing so.

I also pray for the 9 people who were killed early this morning in Charleston.  Whatever the reason, hate or not, they were innocent.  They did not deserve to die.  I pray for a fair and speedy trial. I also pray for the killer to realize the errors of his way.  He was an obviously unsaved person who had the gall to commit a heinous crime in a church of all places.  Why?  Why a house of Yours?  I pray for the families of those who lost their lives and I pray that all of us would come together in the midst of this tragedy.  Give us all the wisdom to go only by the facts and not on emotion.  I am concerned that something bad would happen like the guy getting away with murder or having a light sentence.  As unChristian as this may sounds, my prayer to You is that it does not happen.  In this sense, I ask that You would calm my fears as my cast my cares unto You.  It was a horrible crime that I believe could have been prevented.

Lord, help us all.  I know that even that sentence has become too cliched.  However, I don't use this as a cliche.  It is a truth that I ask that You would answer.  It is a tragedy that I wish did not occur.  Now wishing is all I could do outside of prayer.  All I know is that the Devil is busy.  This is a sad state of affairs in my humble opinion, whether or not it is personal or elsewhere.  I pray that we all be as prayerful in this tragic time and in all tragic times.  Teach us to love, honor, and respect, our fellow man and woman.

Thank You for answering this prayer, in Your name, Jesus.  Amen.

Tuesday, June 16, 2015

Not in a fog

Lord,

I thank You, for my mind is no longer in a fog.  I have been depressed for a while and today You have revealed what I did not care to admit.  There are people who I simply don't like.  I love them, but I don't like them.  I don't harbor any hatred, mind You.  I wonder if it is okay to not like a person, period.  I usually don't feel this way about someone, but I have to be honest.  You brought out the honesty in me.  I am just so tired of living the same days over and over and over again.  It is as if I bring nothing else to the table.  I have tried, but I don't know what else to do.  I need to change my situation.  I guess it continues to begin with me. I have a hard time living one day at a time, so I need Your help.  I also have fears that I have to face plus I have those same fears to be overcome.  I do have a capacity to overcome things, but I need Your help. Lord, I cannot make it on my own.  I need Your help.  I have gone the wrong route or two and it has made it worse instead of better and instead of opening my eyes, it also made me desperate and deceived.  I ask You for a miracle.  I have no idea how to turn things around.  I feel so powerless and I also feel that I also prove things right.  I don't want that for my life anymore.  I have to do things that are uncomfortable I know this, but I realize that it is the world that we live in.  Give me strength and wisdom in these times.  I rely on You each and every day. I have allowed myself to be allowed to let depression and lies to enter my mind. Forgive me, Father, for my sins.  I am really, sincerely, sorry.  I realize that I do have sin in me, but I don't want to continually sin, which I have done.  My desire is not only change my situation, but to change myself and how I see other people and the world.  I do need Your help so I am asking for a miracle in these times. I am asking for a miracle because of what has been going wrong in my life. I would like to be healthier, and become wiser, stable, and more godly.  I ask for these things in Your name, Jesus.  Amen.

Saturday, June 13, 2015

Dealing with fear

Lord,

Help me to face my fears.  I know very well, fear has torment.  I have been tormented most of my life.  I don't think that I am a strong enough person to face and overcome my fears.  That is why I need You. I want to draw closer to You.  Right now, my mind is in a fog.  I have been depressed and down in the dumps lately.  I got my feelings hurt.  I realize that putting my foot down may not be the answer.  I have yet to tell my mother why I feel that way.  My brother has changed and my sister in law is running the show. I really don't think that she likes me.  I am scared of what will happen if I speak up or mess up.  I hate this and I cannot take this anymore.  I need to get out.  I need help in facing my fears.  Help me, Lord.

In Jesus' name,


Amen

Friday, June 12, 2015

Love and thanks to God

Dear Heavenly Father,

I love You.  I thank You for all that You have done for me.  I am sorry that I don't always take the time, if any, to be thankful.  I have much to be thankful for.  Again.  I thank You.

In Your name, Jesus,

Amen

Thursday, June 11, 2015

Need for help

Dear Jesus,

Forgive me of my sins.  I repent of those sins.  Use me as a blank canvas.  I am here to right that I thank You for helping me to register what I need to do when it comes to my weight  Lord, restore me and draw me closer to You.  I have been depressed in a while.  My mind has been in a fog.  I guess that would be a sign of the depression.  It is or was hard to pay attention and such.  I was down in the dumps about my shopping trip and I was down in the dumps over the say I have been treated.  I need Your help in just living my life one day at a  time.  That would be a miracle in itself.  Help me to stay focused.  Help me, Jesus.

In Your Name,

Amen.

Wednesday, June 10, 2015

Being and staying healthy

Dear Jesus,

Help me.  I have been under a lot of stress lately.  Forgive me, for I had a hard time communicating with You.  I felt alone and I realize that I have a lot to deal with.  I have grown tired of living everyday life everyday, the way I have been living it.  It is time to be me, to do me, to live as a child of God. It took sickness to help me realize that.  I don't want to die young or die of things that I could have prevented.  I want to care, but for a while, I did not care.  It stems from having low self-esteem.  It is time that I admit some things.  Being fat isn't the worst thing in the world.  I know this.  I am over 300 lbs. and it doesn't feel good.  I cannot and do not accept myself as I am, yet I see various body types as more beautiful.  I have been comparing myself to other people and it is like an itch I cannot scratch.  I have an idea of what I want to have, but I don't have definite plans.  I no longer want to take so many medications and that is a fact.  It hurts when someone makes a rather cruel fat joke.  I can see this.

I am tired of being the before picture despite the fact that what I see is true.  I hate those ads that show the before picture as if being fat is the worst thing in the world.  The worst thing about me is about why I wanted to lose weight.  I stopped caring about myself.  I want to have a curvier shape and a flat stomach.  The last time I had a flat stomach was over 20 years ago, when I was in high school.  I weighed much, much less.  Nowadays, I feel guilty that now I could have been someone who could have been this size.  I never had to lose more than 30 lbs. and now I am scared.  I have been scared for a while now and I want to not just recognize the problem but to connect what I have admitted and what I am going through.

I quit Weight Watchers as I thought it is a waste of money and it has taught me a lot of things that I did not like.  I ate a bunch of chocolate and unhealthy foods because of having low self-esteem.  I never thought I was a pretty young woman.  I never really thought of myself as such.  I will only see myself as a this only when I will become smaller.  The sad truth is, I don't like to procrastinate anymore.  I feel like it is going to be even harder to lose weight and that my age is a factor as to why weight loss is so important but it will be so hard.  I wish I could have kept it off.  Now I have regrets about this and my failures of which my health.  I don't wish to remain the overweight woman with low self-esteem who has been accused of making excuses as to why it has been difficult to lose weight.  I know that I did  contribute on my own through a sedentary lifestyle.  I love food and in large quantities.

How come what I have researched have not registered?  I need wisdom.  I need guidance.  I also don't feel like a smart person.  It is as if I am lacking in common sense.  I have grown tired of the way life is.  I want to lose weight and make changes in my life, but I have no clue where to begin.  My prayer is that I would be realistic about my health and that everything I have said would actually register.  I have been told I can do it, but the thing is, do I want to?  That is what is worrying me.  I have had doubts about the desire that I have to lose weight.

Lord, I do want to lose weight, but it hasn't registered yet.  My mindset is in need of a change and so do I, but the truth is, I need You to help me.  I have no idea what I am doing.  I ask for wisdom so that I will be strong and stay strong.  Give me the strength that I so need.  I suffered from leg pain and heaviness, a burning sensation in my feet, an obsession that just haven't gone away, yet, and an ear infection.  I haven't had one of these in years.  I do believe that it has something to d with the diabetes.  Jesus, forgive me, for I am a sinner, and I ask for forgiveness of all of my sins.  I thank You for Your answer or answers to this prayer.

In Your name, Jesus,


Amen

Tuesday, June 9, 2015

In need

Lord Jesus,

 could use a miracle  right now.  Lend Your ear to me, Jesus.  Hear my prayer, O Lord.  Forgive me for not communicating with You.  I miss You and I need You.

In Jesus' name,

Amen

Saturday, June 6, 2015

Strength

Father,

I am so disappointed in myself.  I had to close a few blogs because I am just unmotivated.  Do I really want to lose weight and get healthy?  I realize that I have to do things for myself but I have become a sinking ship. Even though I am tired right now, I know exactly what I am saying.  I have grown tired.  Give me strength in this journey.

In Jesus' name,


Amen

Friday, June 5, 2015

Not such a great day but there is a silver lining

Dear God,

Help me.  I am down and depressed.  I am a liar and I have been for a long time.  I feel like there is a demon presence in this home.  I don't know what to do with it.  I feel like there is this presence that is permeating even my mind.  Am I being harassed by demons?  What is wrong with me?  I have been in constant pain, I wake up with headaches, and I take more medication than someone twice my age.  Nothing is working for me, Lord.  Nothing, and I mean nothing. Something is wrong, other than the fact that I am flawed and I can't handle it.  I am not ready.  I desire to be, but I am such a depressed liar right now.  The guilt is causing me depression and so is everything else.  How do I get out of this funk?  I need help.  I need hope.  Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned against You and I have hurt myself.  Thank You.

In Jesus' name,


Amen

Monday, June 1, 2015

The Truth about my weight issues

Lord Jesus,

I need a miracle from You right now.  I don't what to do or how to do it.  The topic is exercise.  Create me in Your image.  Wipe the slate clean.  Make me a blank canvas.  Use me, Lord.  I will follow You always.  I feel a little bit confused.  I know that I need a change of mindset.  Right now, my left foot, well, my toe has a burning sensation.  My weight has gone up.  I am responsible for this.  I wanted it to be this way, I confess. I am here to write that there are changes that I need to make.  I wish to accept that my heart wasn't always into it.  My goal is to lose 108 pounds and to keep it off.  I would be happy if I were to lose 60 pounds. I wish I had not given up on myself.  I weighed less than 250 pounds.  I remember the worst thing I had to deal with were fitting in my clothes.  I had gotten used to my weight and I became okay with it.

Now, I am not.  I am not that happy with my current weight.  I am not that happy period.  I need to lose weight.  My toe has a burning sensation and my stomach is hanging down to a point where it is on my lap.  I never thought that would happen.  I never thought that I would weigh 300 pounds or have hormonal issues either.  The problem I have been having is that I have hormonal issues that I need to address.  I also realize that I am in need of guidance and support which I ask that You would provide for me.  I am so scared.  I am fearful. I wonder if there were other people who feel that way too.

I am in a period where I am afraid to eat the wrong kind of food and even eat breakfast.  I am scared since I have been dealing with pain and burning sensations in my feet as of late.  I would like to be cured of diabetes and I want and need to deal with being obese.  There.  I said it.  I am not happy with myself.  The truth is, I want to be ashamed of myself, but strangely I am not.  I am not proud of myself and I would like to know how I allowed myself to be overweight like I am.  I have gotten so fat that it would be nice if I were to weigh 270 pounds.  It has been a while since that has happened.  I am not so sure what to do and where to begin.  I do not want to quit.  Not at all do I desire to quit.  I want to be happy and made whole.  That is all I want from You.  I ask this in Your name, Jesus.  Amen.