Dear Heavenly Father,
I spent a good while in denial. I had to realize that this morning. I really am not doing as well as I thought. I spent time doing "research" hoping to find the answers that I so seek. It took me today to realize that it has not been easy. I admit that my Christian beliefs had little or nothing to do with why I am not supposed to avoid things. I was supposed to set no evil thing before my eyes, but does that mean television or movies? How do I really confront my fears? Lord, help me to truly abstain from all appearance of evil as Your word really says. I am sorry that I have been in denial and that I have not been perfected in love. I am really scared that I will never get the help that I need. That is why I turn to You. I know that I haven't brought it on myself but I feel like I have the world on my mind and on my shoulders. I have a view of the world that often contradicts with what the real world is all about and that is the root of my issues. The real world is often a cruel place and I have been sheltered most of my life. In fact, I have had obsessive compulsive disorder most of my life. I wish sometimes I didn't have this because it is time-consuming. It is often too much to bear. I ask You for wisdom, guidance, and peace of mind. I am not better except for the fact that the truth is finally revealed. I am no longer afraid of being honest. I have not always been honest with You or other people. It is about time I do that but the problem is, I care too much what others in the world think. I am scared of their reaction. I know that in hindsight they would be unable to help me. I know that they love me but I feel that they will make a bigger deal than it already is. This is the first time in a long time that I can finally be myself. I would like to say that I am getting better but I know that it is not always the truth. Help me to take care of myself. Thank You in advance for answering my prayers and thank You for giving me piece of mind.
In Jesus' name,
Amen
No comments:
Post a Comment