Tuesday, December 31, 2013

Thank You-End of 2013

Dear Heavenly Father,

Thank You first and foremost for saving me and giving me the assurance of my salvation.  Thank You for an interesting 2013.  I am thankful that I have survived a crazy, crazy year.  So much can happen in a year.  Do not let me stray and draw me closer to You in 2014.  Help me not to worry so much about the little things. Help me to continue to seek You first Your Kingdom and Your Righteousness.  Thank You for giving me wisdom and faith.  You are, and have been, providing miracles for me and my family.  I have not always done right, but You are faithful.  You have given me the strength I need to carry me through.  For all of those things, I thank You.

Sincerely,


Letters to God

Monday, December 30, 2013

Mundane Needs to God

Father,

I ask for Your forgiveness of all of my sins.  I am a sinner who lacks wisdom and is in need of guidance. Tomorrow I have an undertaking.  It seems rather silly, but I have to go to the store tomorrow and I don't know what to do.  I give You complete and total control over this situation.  I give You my all.  I need You for even the most mundane of things.  But I do know that You want all of us.  You rather that we would be hot or cold, but not lukewarm.  You don't want for me to straddle the fence on anything.  That is what being holy and righteous are all about.

I plan to spend within a credit limit and I am not sure that I can go under that limit.  The tax is an even bigger concern.  I have a small income and I don't wish to spend over the limit minus the tax.  I just feel like giving up.  We have so many needs and are running out of things and so I have to spend some of it.  I plan to divide up two lists.  I am thankful for my income but I am also thankful that You are God and that You care not only for me, but for all of my needs as well.

I turn them over to You for You, and I thank You, give me wisdom and guidance.  I really need Your help in this.  

Sincerely,


Letters to God

Sunday, December 29, 2013

Desire to lose weight

Dear Lord,

I ask for Your forgiveness.  I have a motivation to lose weight.  I need to lose weight, but I want to do it for me and me alone.  Help me to continue motive myself.  I put my trust in You.  I give You complete and total control over this situation.  I need Your help.  I am almost 5'2" and weigh about 300 lbs.  I have become self-conscious over my weight.  I have a hard time fitting through a door, to fit into clothes that I desire to fit in, and also to fit into a chair in the living room.  There are things that are hard for me to do since I gained weight.  I have also eaten unhealthy and gained most of my weight back.  I am not proud of that at all.  I have no set goals and that is the problem.  Help me to set realistic goals in this weight loss journey.  I am an overweight diabetic who is out of shape.  I want to feel better about myself.  I want to be more confident and healthier.  I would like to learn to eat healthier and lose weight.  I have PCOS which has been a problem for me, but I have to learn that PCOS is just a medical condition that I have to take care of.  I need to take better care of myself as You show me how.  By the way, what does Your word say about my weighty situation?

Sincerely,

Letters to God

Saturday, December 28, 2013

Weight loss confusion

Dear God,

I know that I need to lose weight, but I don't have the desire to do so.  I live in a society where fat is bad and thin is in.  I don't fit a standard of beauty no matter how narrow.  I have lived for society but I am also self-conscious.  Why do I need to lose weight?  The truth is, I don't really know.  I have theories and only that: theories.  I am making no sense, but I am being honest.  I know I need to, but I am scared that I won't be able to lose weight.  I need to take stock of my health and exercise regimen.  But I have not examined myself and I have not motivated myself.  I have been so stressed out about my weight that I realized that I only wanted to lose weight for unknown reasons. I just don't know.  I am lost and confused about my weight issues.  That is the truth.  I know that I need to but I have not set any goals for myself and I don't know where to begin.  Help me, Lord.  What do I need to do?  I know that I need to change my mindset, but I am not wise about my own body.  What shall I do?

In Jesus' name,

Amen

Friday, December 27, 2013

Inventory

Dear Father,

Forgive me for all of my sins, including apathy and not spending enough time with You.  Prayer, or rather You, have been so good to me.  Help me take stock of my life and take control. I feel so out of control and I am so ignorant of Your devices.  Fill me with the Holy Spirit.  Take the weight of the world off of my shoulders for I have been stressed out.  I will take Your yolk upon me and learn of You, for I am burdened and heavy laden.  I need wisdom, guidance, peace of mind, and a sense of wisdom.  My life is good, but it could be better.  Give me the assurance that with You, I can be strong and wise and exhibit self-control.

In Jesus' name,


Amen

Thursday, December 26, 2013

Thank You, Lord

Dear God,

MR and CO don't bother me much anymore, but I occasionally have thoughts about them.  You see, CO has written a book about her life which includes MR.  I think that she has the right to write whatever she wants.  I just hope it is true.  In the grand scheme of things, she is not writing about my life but her own. Life for the most part is vanity.  I pray that they both get the help they need.  They need You, Jesus.  Save them and love them.  Send a true Christian their way so that they know about You.  MR is Catholic and CO is Buddhist.  They need You.  I will pray for them.  Now it is time for me to move on with my life.

In Jesus' name,


Amen

Wednesday, December 25, 2013

Happy Birthday, Jesus!

Dear Jesus,

Thank You for dying on the cross for me.  I believe that You rose from the dead.  Oh holy Savior, I wish You a Happy Birthday.  Thank You for all.

Love,


Letters to God

Tuesday, December 24, 2013

Intercession

Dear God,

May I not forget why many of us down here on Earth celebrate Christmas.  I know that there are some materialistic people out there and all they care about are gifts.  Forgive me if I have been materialistic.  I pray that tomorrow would be a good Christmas for my family and myself.  However, I also pray for the young girl who is on life support.  Please, Lord, let her live.  Give her family a miracle that they desperately need.  I recall that You raised a young girl from the dead.  Will You please do that for that young girl and provide her family with peace of mind and comfort?  Your answer will be greatly appreciated.

Sincerely,


Letters to God

Sunday, December 22, 2013

I am doing so much better

Dear God,

Thank You.  I feel better than I did this morning.  I am glad that things went well today.  I feel like I have been addicted to MR.  I was obsessed.  I had to do well.  I was afraid of anything triggering another thought. I know that the thoughts are not supposed to hurt me.  However, I am afraid of them hurting me.  I get nervous and anxious and scared at the very same time something triggers a thought.  I have had thoughts this morning about MR. I didn't know what else to do but to ruminate over them.  Show me how to not be anxious, yet embrace the fact that I have thoughts.  I guess thoughts will always arrive.  I am here to write that I have drawn closer to You.  Help me to live a holy and righteous life.

Thank You also for taking away my thoughts.  It was quite lonely and flat.  It was dreadful and I hope to never doubt You again.  Forgive me, Father.  I am happier now.  Help me to be patient and kind.  Help me live a holy and righteous life that I so need.  Help me to make the right choices because of my love and reverence for You and Your commands. My thoughts and my fear of triggers have controlled my life and have made my world smaller.  I want to expand my world and experience new things.  I want to do wholesome things like gardening and writing again.  I want to watch wholesome shows and movies.  I just feel like the world is anything but a wholesome place and I look forward to Your return.  Even so, come Lord Jesus.  May Your grace be with us all.

Sincerely,


Letters to God

Saturday, December 21, 2013

Being real with God

Dear God,

Help me draw nearer to You.  Help me to overcome doubt.  Help me to tell You how I really feel.  I am doubting You and all others.  I have been fearful and doubtful.  That is not a pretty combination.  Restore me to newness and to wholeness.  I thank You for doing so.

In Jesus' name,

Amen

Friday, December 20, 2013

Flatness of feeling

Dear Heavenly Father,

I am a literal blank slate.  I have all of these things I want to say but I am afraid that they might come out wrong.  Draw me closer to You.  You seem so distant to me right now.  My needs become wants and I don't know what to do or how to ask you.  I am just so tired of this.  I have nothing to muse on nor do I have anything to talk to You about.  I just feel empty inside.  I don't feel numb, just empty.  It is worse than being manic but it is better to be depressed.  Maybe I should be thankful and blessed that I am in this state.   I realize now that I am.  Protect me from all harm, provide my financial needs. set me free from the burden of debt, and give me spiritual rest.  Those are things that I pray for and need to continually pray for.  Lord, Jesus, in Your name, teach me how to pray.

Amen

Thursday, December 19, 2013

Unanswered prayer

Father,

I got embarrassed at the store today and I have virtually have no money.  I need money for provision for my needs.  I didn't do a great job shopping today.  I don't know how much money I needed.  I just know that at this time there are things that I did not get that I wished that I had gotten. I am sure my mother is disappointed.  I am disappointed at myself.

I need You to come through for me financially and otherwise.  I know You are doing what is best for me, but help me to approach things from Your perspective.  Help me to understand why some prayers get answered and why others don't.  What have said or done?  Is there anything that I should have truly repented of? What went wrong?

I wish that I knew.  I really wish a lot of things today.  God, help me, please.  Help me.

Sincerely,


Letters to God

Wednesday, December 18, 2013

Prayer of Thanksgiving

God of all blessings,
source of all life,
giver of all grace:

We thank you for the gift of life:
for the breath
that sustains life,
for the food of this earth
that nurtures life,
for the love of family and friends
without which there would be no life.

We thank you for the mystery of creation:
for the beauty
that the eye can see,
for the joy
that the ear may hear,
for the unknown
that we cannot behold filling the universe with wonder,
for the expanse of space
that draws us beyond the definitions of our selves.

We thank you for setting us in communities:
for families
who nurture our becoming,
for friends
who love us by choice,
for companions at work,
who share our burdens and daily tasks,
for strangers
who welcome us into their midst,
for people from other lands
who call us to grow in understanding,
for children
who lighten our moments with delight,
for the unborn,
who offer us hope for the future.

We thank you for this day:
for life
and one more day to love,
for opportunity
and one more day to work for justice and peace,
for neighbors
and one more person to love
and by whom be loved,
for your grace
and one more experience of your presence,
for your promise:
to be with us,
to be our God,
and to give salvation.

For these, and all blessings,
we give you thanks, eternal, loving God,
through Jesus Christ we pray. Amen.

Monday, December 16, 2013

Teach me

Dear God,

Help me to be a more honest person whenever I pray.  Teach me, Lord, how to pray.  You know all of my needs before I even ask of them.  I give of myself to You.  Teach me how to be grateful for I have my reasons.  Teach me Your ways, for I am Yours.

In Jesus' name,

Amen

Sunday, December 15, 2013

I messed up

Dear God,

Help me to know You better.  I have done something wrong and I am worried that my prayer won't be answered.  I guess that all I have to do is how I really feel.  I am thankful that You are here to answer my prayer.  I messed up and I don't know what to do.  Help me, Lord.  Help me.

Sincerely,


Letters to God

Saturday, December 14, 2013

Help me to pray...

Dear Heavenly Father,

Grant me the serenity to accept change when it is needed.  Grant me patience also.  I am 10 days away from Christmas Eve and 11 days from Christmas.  I am looking forward to those days.  This is my favorite time of the year.  I am taking a holiday from my obsessions so to speak.  Thank You for setting me free from being obsessed with MR and his ex-wife CO.  There is just so much that I wish to thank You for.  You have supplied my needs when I didn't realize it.  I wonder what happens today.  I admit that I do not glorify You in all of my ways, and I ask for Your forgiveness.  Help me to exhibit the fruits of the Spirit.  Also, help me to be mindful of all who are less fortunate.  Help me to acknowledge You in all of my ways.  Lord, I ask that You would direct my paths as You have promised.

Life is something that I often reflect on and I am happy with most decisions that I have made.  I have had obsessive thoughts for years and years and years it seems.  I realize that I am needy and lazy.  I am sorry for having grown lazy over the last few days.  I admit that I get too caught up in the things of the world and have done not enough to set myself apart from all things worldly.  What sins have I not repented of?  Cleanse me from all of my faults.  More than anything, I want to live a righteous and holy life.  I am trying, but not the best that I can.  I am sorry for that.

Thank You that no matter what, You are a loving and forgiving God.  But I also know that You don't want for us to play around with sin and be a friend of the world.  There are things about me that are still worldly like how I see Christmas.  You see, I love Christmas and I also love giving.  I want to be patient and at the same time expectant.  That is I guess how it is with prayer.  I am expectant of an answer to my petition yet I realize that I have to be patient.  I do believe that You are an on-time God, but because of my impatience and my lack of knowledge, I often fail to realize that You are above me and I am made a little lower than the angels.

I admit that patience is not a virtue of mine.  I also admit that I want to be financially free.  I need enough money to pay bills and restore my credit, help my Mom out, and to buy more for Christmas.  That is quite a bit of money for me, but that is enough for You.  Help me to keep that in mind.  Forgive me for my doubt and lack of patience.  Help me to overcome the fears that You don't answer prayers about even the "pettiest" of matters.  I have to learn and realize that nothing is petty to You.  All I have to do is to tell You how I really feel.

I thank You that You want the best for me.

Sincerely,


Letters to God

Friday, December 13, 2013

Questions

Dear God,

There are things that I don't know what to pray for.  I am worried that I would be asking amiss.  How do I overcome that?  How do I ask You for help for instance?  Is this an excuse of a lack of faith?

Sincerely,

Letters to God

Thursday, December 12, 2013

Christmas Question

Dear God,

Thank You for supplying all of my needs.  I love Phillippians 4.  Help me to continue to apply that chapter to my daily life.  I have been through a trying time and I am just wondering if You would supply a particular need.  You know how I feel about the Christmas season and I would like to know how You feel about Christmas.  I never got an answer from You.  It is not in the Bible specifically but I believe that You have all the answers, so I would like to know.  How should a Christian celebrate it and should a believer even celebrate it at all?   Your answer will be greatly appreciated.

Sincerely,

Letters to God

Wednesday, December 11, 2013

Little miracles

Dear God,

I thank You that little miracles happen everyday.

Sincerely,

Letters to God

Tuesday, December 10, 2013

Dear God

Dear God,
I have often wondered things about You.  Did You create Yourself?  Who created You?  I know You were created through the Son who is my Savior.

Help me to examine myself to see if I am of the faith.  I have had doubts about being saved.  I have often gotten caught up in the things of the world. I have had obsessions about MR, CO, SS1, and SS2.  They are not productive and they are a waste of time.  I have just wasted minutes on MR.  I believe he needs help and guidance.  All of us do.  We need You.

I pray that He would pray for forgiveness.  He seems like a guy who needs help.  His case seems rather extreme.  But I don't wish to further my obsession to further write about him.  I just pray that he gets the help and intercession he needs.

I realize that my issues with lust are compulsive.  It is hard to overcome because I give in to temptation.  Provide a way for me to escape.  I have been caught up in my obsessions.  I feel like a crazy person.  Examine me or help me to examine why I have been obsessed and why I commit the sins that I have committed.  I hope that all will be well with me.  I ask that You would renew my mind.

Change me from the inside.  I want to live and be holy and righteous.  Give me the assurance of my salvation.  You are my strength and salvation.  No amount of height, width, or depth can stop us from loving each other.  Thank You for loving me first.  I need to know that You would always be there for me no matter what.  Help me to take joy in this trying time.

Be there for me, Lord.  Help me, Lord.  Help me.

Sincerely,


Letters to God

Monday, December 9, 2013

I need help with a problem

Dear God,

I am here to tell You that I need help.  I am a glutton and I cannot stop eating.  I need help and I don't know who else to turn to except for You.  Your help would be greatly appreciated.

Sincerely,

Letters to God

Sunday, December 8, 2013

Saturday, December 7, 2013

This Christmas

Dear God,

I believe that little miracles happen everyday.  You know of my needs before I even ask of them.  This year, I look forward to Christmas.  This is my favorite time of the year.  Life is so short to be miserable.  I love Christmas, but this year, I would like to celebrate Christmas the way it should be celebrated.  It should be celebrated with Jesus in mind.

Sincerely,

Letters to God

Friday, December 6, 2013

Not enough thankfulness

Dear God,

Thank You today for answering my prayers.  I am so thankful.  However, I feel like being thankful is not enough. 

Sincerely,

Letters to God

Thursday, December 5, 2013

How does God feel?

Dear God,

Let me tell You how thankful I am.  I have been having issues as of late.  You never mentioned how You feel about Christmas.  How do You feel about things?  I ask for myself but I rarely ask about You.  I wish I could do a better job of doing so.  Are You angry with me or with the world at large?  I have wondered about You.  Who created You?  Did You create Yourself?  I know that with You all things are possible and they seem silly to the world, but I am sure they are meaningful to You.  I hope You will appreciate this letter.  I have been wondering lately about spiritual things and have weaned myself off of the things of the world.  Maybe that means that I am being perfected.  That cannot be done with those of the world, but can be done with true believers. 

Does it bother You that I have doubts sometimes because I am not sure that You will answer the kind of prayers that I ask?  You see, I need money.  I know I am a spendthrift who has an obsession with budgeting.  I can barely stop.  I have too many budgets and it seems too obsessive.  Maybe my brother is right.  I am too obsessed with grocery lists.  Maybe I am just bored.  Who knows but You.  Maybe there is an underlying cause behind it.  I want to have a good Christmas but I don't know how You feel about the holiday.  Does Christmas honor Jesus or does it offend Him?  Does it matter if we celebrate it or not?  Does the intention of the celebration matter?

I am concerned that I may be asking for the wrong reasons.  The truth is, I need financial help.  I would like for my bills to be paid.  I am also interceeding for my mom.  She too has bills to pay and now she is broke just like I am.  Money is a necessary thing that all of us are in need of.  How can I ask for financial help while keeping to Your will in prayer?   How shall I go about praying for financial help?  Give me the right words to say.  Your help will be greatly appreciated.

Sincerely,

Letters to God

Wednesday, December 4, 2013

Financial help

Dear God,

Help me.  I need help.  I am in need of money to buy gifts and for provision to pay my bills.  I also need help with budgeting.  Send someone to hold me accountable for my financial mistakes that I hope to never make.  I want to please You with my finances and I give my financial concerns into You.  I leave them in Your hands.

In Jesus' name,

Amen

Tuesday, December 3, 2013

I'm sorry and I thank You

Dear God,

I am sorry for what I have done today.  There are times when I seem to have forgotten You and I am so sorry.  You speak to me and there are times when I should have listened.  You speak the truth because You cannot lie.  I am so happy for all that I have and all that I am, but that is only because of You.  I thank You, and I love You.  Help me to show You that I need to be holy and righteous so that I will be ready.

Sincerely,


Letters to God

Sunday, December 1, 2013

blessed

Dear God,

All I can say is thank You.  Help me to be patient today.  Thank You for giving me another day.  I am just blessed to be alive to thank You.

Sincerely,

Letters to God

Saturday, November 30, 2013

Being thankful for the cross

Dear Heavenly Father,

Help me to live a holy, righteous life.  I know that to really be a Christian one has to be born-again and live a righteous, holy life.  Thank You for everything that You have done for me.  I am glad to be awake and to be alive to praise and thank You.  I am sorry for all of the things I have done.  There were things that I have finally realized if I wanted to be ready for Your return.  I know that You will come quickly.  Though I believe that time is short, You will be here like a theif in the night.  I am so grateful that You died on the cross for me and that the Father rose You from the dead.  Thank You, precious Lord. 

In Jesus' Name,


Amen

Thursday, November 28, 2013

Thank You

Dear God,

I wasn't so sure about the origin or the original Thanksgiving.  However, I realize that it is another day set aside to be thankful for what we have.  In truth, I have much to be thankful for and it is all because of You.  Thank You for the many blessings that have been instilled in my family and to me.  Thank You that with You all things are possible.  Thank You for saving me and giving me new life.  I am a new creation and for that, I thank You.

Sincerely,

Letters to God

Wednesday, November 27, 2013

Being Grateful

Dear God,

Help me to be thankful for everything I have.  I have realized that I have much to be thankful for.  I have become a more grateful person.  I won't compare myself or my life to others.  I will just be loving, kind, and more grateful.

Life is just too short to be ungrateful.  Comparing oneself to others will drag a person down.  That is at least what has happened to me.  I am grateful for all You have done for me.  Thank You.

Sincerely,

Letters to God

Tuesday, November 26, 2013

God's feelings

Dear God,

How do You feel about Christmas?  It is nowhere mentioned in the Bible.  I was wondering that because even though I celebrate it, there is a debate in the Church on whether or not we should celebrate it.  Should I repent of it?  Is it a sin to celebrate Christmas?  What should I do?

I am thankful that You are here to answer this prayer?  I ask of Your forgiveness of all of my sins.  I am worried that I may obsess with MR again.  That was my fault today.  I watched videos and looked at pics of him.  I have no use for any kind of obsession with MR, ST, or anyone else for that matter.  When I said that I wanted to live a holy and righteous life, I meant it.

I was not lying to You about that.  I have asked that about Christmas last year because I love to give.  I love gifts myself but it gives me great joy to give and serve my fellow man.  I am excited by this year.  I don't really know why, but I am.

Sincerely,


Letters to God

Monday, November 25, 2013

Self

Dear God,

I am struggling.  More than anything, I want to live holy.  But I wonder if I am a selfish person who wants to live holy for selfish motives.  Life is very, very short.  I feel that I am a self-centered person who has a lot of learning to do about the world.  There are things that I haven't done that I should do.  There seems to be so little time and I have so little patience.  Help me on this one and forgive me for all of my sins.  I desire is to become a better Christian.

Sincerely,


Letters to God

Sunday, November 24, 2013

Glory to God

Dear God,

Help me to be holy, to be set apart from the world.  Help me not only to exhibit self-control, but to exhibit the fruits of the Holy Spirit.  I ask for the Holy Spirit to teach me all things.  Show me how to apply Your word to my life.  I have read up on part of the New Testament today.  I am grateful for everything You have done for me.  You are worthy of praise, O Lord.

Sincerely,

Letters to God

Saturday, November 23, 2013

Being free

Dear Heavenly Father,

Thank You for answering my prayers.  Help me not to allow myself to be caught up in the things of the world.  It is easy, I admit, to be caught up whenever my mind tends to wander off into my fantasy world.  I am so thrilled to write this diary and this prayer to You.  It draws me closer to You. 

I am obsessed with saving money for Christmas and writing a budget for the holidays this year.  I believe that this Christmas will be awesome.  However, I ask that You would help me to keep in mind that there are those who don't celebrate Christmas or wish to celebrate for whatever reason.  So many people are distraught and are in need this season.

I don't also wish to pass being thankful this upcoming Thursday.  After what I wrote, I should be thankful more often.  Being thankful can be difficult when all one sees are problems in this world and issues one has.  I have had my share of issues.  I feel so much better now and now it seems that I am truly over my obsession with MR and CO.  I hope that I will never have an obsessive thought over another person again.  It has been a waste of time and it has been frustrating.

I hope these thoughts never come back.

Sincerely,


Letters to God

Friday, November 22, 2013

Great time to relax

Dear Heavenly Father,

Today has been a pretty decent day except for the aches and the sniffles.  Other than that, I am not sad about today.  I just woke up and I hope to conquer the rest of the day.  I am a little tired so I plan to make some coffee or tea. 

I do have something to write about though.  I give You complete and total control over my eating habits.  Today's session taught me a lot of things.  It has taught me about loving and respecting myself regardless of my size.  It is futile to allow society and the world at large to determine how I should feel about myself and my body.  I was active before and I will be active now.  I was told I can do what I set out to do and that is diet and exercise, simple as that.  Help me in this journey.  Give me the wisdom and the tools that I need to lose weight.  Help me to set a realistic goal without confusion and without being stressed out.

Also, I pray for healing of myself and of others.  My faith has gotten stronger over the years and I credit You for that.  You have already healed me emotionally and You have been there for me.  Thank You.

In Jesus' name,

Amen

Thursday, November 21, 2013

Second chance

Dear God,

Thank You for giving me one more chance.  There is nothing in the world like a second chance at life.  At one time I was suicidal or at least I had suicidal thoughts.  I don't have them anymore.  You gave me a reason to live and I thank You for that.  I have been through a lot over the years but I have lived through it and I know I can live through whatever challenge comes my way.  Thank You for everything. 

In Jesus' name,

Amen

Wednesday, November 20, 2013

My obsession is fading

Dear God,

I need help.  My mind is a battlefield.  I ask for a renewal of my mind.  Help me to think on something that is pure, just, lovely, honest, true, and of good report.  I know it means to think on the things of You, Father.  How do I do that when I am so busy doing other things?  How do I do that whenever I am so busy with obsessive thoughts?

I have been obsessed with MR and CO for a while.  However, it doesn't bother me anymore.  So far, it has not.  I would like to be a fan but I know and realize that it is not possible without obsessing.  That would be like playing with fire.  Believe me, I don't wish to get burned.

How do I overcome it?  How do I not dream about him and think about him?  I need more help and bad.  During the day, it is not as bothersome as it once was, but in my sleep it doesn't bother or upset me, but I know I feel so wrong.  Why do I still dream about him, Lord?  Why did I ever act as if I loved him?

I have become impatient.  Why couldn't nature take its course?  If something is in the back of my mind, then I am not over it.  I am not over him, Lord.  I desire to be over him and live a holy, righteous life.  I want to live for You and serve You all the days of my life.  I obsess about his ex-wife even though he has been married twice.  His second wife is telling all about her life, but not just with MR but about her whole life.  It is good that she has moved on.  It is also good that MR has moved on too.  It is time for me to move on.  It is still bothersome and I don't want any part of it.

MR is just a man and CO is just a woman.  In hindsight, I don't really care, but I do.  The OCD wants me to care and it seems to be winning, or at least I think so.  I just want the thougths to pass, but is it  biblical and wise to let the thougths pass?  How do I cast down every vain imagination?  What is a vain imagination?  I am just being honest.  I have little idea about a vain imagination.  Why should I care about MR and CO so much?

Should I examine that?  How should I deal with it?  Have I gone about things the wrong way?  I don't wish to ruminate on it, but I don't want to be bothered by it either.  I need wisdom on this.  I pray this in Jesus' name.  Thank You for reading and hearing my request.

Amen

Tuesday, November 19, 2013

A peaceful mind

Dear Heavenly Father,

Thank You.  Even the shortest prayers have an impact.  Even the littlest of miracles happen everyday.  Life is too short however for wasted words and unspoken phrases.  I love to wax poetic like this.  Today has mentally been a good day.  The thoughts will always come, but my reaction to them is what is most important.

I have come to realize that MR is just a man.  He is an image on a tv or computer screen.  Nothing will ever happen between us.  Maybe he is a troubled man.  Maybe he is a good man.  I will never know.  That doesn't even matter.

I have come to realize that CO is just a woman.  She is an image on my computer screen.  I will never know her.  It doesn't matter.  Her writing a book doesn't mean anything to me.  She isn't writing about me or anyone I know.  It isn't destroying my reputation.  I would read her book out of curiosity, but curiosity kills the cat.  That is what is happening to me.  I  was tempted to download her book so that I can see what she wrote about her ex.  Maybe she is telling the truth.  Maybe she is lying.  It is between You and her.  I have no further opinion on the matter.  It doesn't matter.  It never should have and the only reason it did is because of the obsession.

Lord, let the thoughts pass.  I have grown sick of being sick and tired of them.  Plus I am bored with them.  Once the thoughts are gone, now what?  My mind has been consumed with obsessive thoughts that they have been such a focus.  It has been a long time since I had these thoughts.  Help me overcome the fears and the avoidance to these thoughts despite the fact that I am becoming free from these thoughts.  I can overcome this with Your help.  I can even avoid the compulsions.  Life is a series of choices.  Help me make the right choices and not allow myself to be so curious.  Help me to do whtat is holy and right.  Guard and protect me from all appearances of evil. May I live for You and serve You all the days of my life.  May I be at rest and peace.

In Jesus' name,


Amen

Monday, November 18, 2013

Healing

Dear God,

Thank You for giving me the guidance and direction that I needed today.  Forgive me for my sins.  I am sorry for the wrongs I have committed.  Right now, I am not feeling 100% well.  However, I ask for Your healing for not just myself, but my aunt and my neighbor's son.  I intercede on their behalf.  Give their families the peace that they need.  Heal their loved ones, Oh Lord.  I ask this in Jesus' name.

Amen

Sunday, November 17, 2013

Wisdom, guidance, and direction

Dear Heavenly Father,

Give me wisdom and strength in the time of trouble.  I would like to think that I will not fall away.  There will be a falling away according to Your word.  It is a sad thing to think about.  I believe that there is a falling away as I type this.  I don't understand how anyone could fall away.  Maybe they weren't strong enough.  Maybe they were naive.  I don't know, but I ask to stay strong so that I won't be so discouraged that I will fall away.  I will not be ashamed of You and I don't want to be shamed when judgement comes.  I would like to be a witness and a servant unto others. 

What is Your will for my life?  Where in Your Word will I find Your will for my life?  Do I preach?  Teach?  Pray?  Show me how to also use my gifts and talents to glorify You and for Jesus to save others.  I am troubled that I have not always lived such a holy, righteous life.  I need to ask myself how this would glorify You.  Holiness is required, daily living.  I know that I cannot be doing wrong one minute and doing all the right things the next.  I realize that being holy isn't going to be easy, but that is what You commanded us to be.  I am to be set apart from the world.  I ask for a sense of direction in my life.

Thank You for giving me that direction for my life.  I just feel like I am lost and alone.  This is true especially that I have a thought.  Help me to calm my mind down whenever an obsessive thought arises.  I have to realize that they are bothersome and I cannot let them bother me or upset me.  I am afraid of anything, and I mean, anything, triggering another obsessive thought.  I have grown tired of avoidance instead of holiness.  Purify my motives and purify my heart.  Renew my heart and my mind.  Help me to grow in Your word, and I thank You for answering this year.

Sincerely,


Letters to God

Saturday, November 16, 2013

Intercession for those who are sick....

Dear Heavenly Father,

I am doing well.  I have to eat a little bit healthier if I desire to lose more weight.  However, I am eating over the calorie limit and I need help with that.  At least I am not binging.  I feel so much better health wise. 

I pray for those who are sick.  There are many I know who are sick and are in need of You.  Jesus, heal their minds, bodies, and souls.  Save them and heal them.  Touch them and make them whole.  May their faith make them whole and set them free from sickness.  With You, all things are possible.

I can believe that for others, but for me, it was difficult.  I need to read Your word more.  I am sorry that I have failed in that regard.  I am not as ready as I should be.  I need to be about Your work in doing and Your word in reading.  Life is just too short to waste my time.

In grand scheme of things, nothing else seems to matter but being a holy, righteous believer and pleasing You, Father.  I am happy because I am in a peaceful place right now.  You have given me peace, and for that, I thank You, Lord.

In Jesus' name,

Amen

Friday, November 15, 2013

I need God's help

Dear God,

Help me to be a faithful Christian.  I need help on a lot of things, like being able to do things one at a time.  Help me to lose weight one second at a time, one minute at a time, one hour at a time, and one day at a time.  I would like to see what will happen in the future, but I don't trust myself.  I wanted to quit, but I am hopeful.  I know that the worst thing I could do is to give up and go back to my own habits.  I am back on track and I thank You for everything You have done for me.  I believe that I am not to get too comfortable, yet I feel so relieved at everything thus far. 

I have had no idea how well things have turned out mentally today.  I ask that You would let the thoughts pass.  I will not fight them or justify them.  I promise.  I want no part of those thoughts anymore.  No. Really.  I cannot take those obsessive thoughts, anxieties, and fears again.  I guess it is time for me to take a new approach to the obsessive thoughts.  Maybe the fact that they are annoying bother me.  Help me to focus on what is realistic.  Reality can be stranger than fiction and that reality can't always be a good thing.  However, it is better than not living in the real world.

Sincerely,

Letters to God

Thursday, November 14, 2013

The weight of the world

Dear God,

I have noticed that the less I eat, the more stressful I am.  I do have an urge to eat much or rather more than I desire to eat.  For the time being, I am comfortable with eating a 1400 calorie diet.  It hasn't been much of a struggle so far.  In fact, food doesn't consume my every thought.  I guess it is because of my food intake.  I have been wiser in my food choices as a result.  I don't have any headaches or anything like that.  In fact I feel great.  I can breathe a little easier.

Mickey Rourke doesn't bother me...or at least the image and obsession.  I am learning to see things clearer now than I have even a couple of days ago.  I am opening my eyes to the fact that it is all an image, a mirage.  The image is crafted by handlers.  I wonder if he is a miserable, lonely, down-to-earth guy like he comes across or if he is not a nice person.  I don't go by gossip...okay, yes I did.  Forgive me, Father.  Mickey Rourke is not a nice person judging from gossip, but I don't know the guy and I go by the sayings of others.  The fact is, I will never know this man, and I mean, never.

I focus so much and sweat the small stuff I don't always see the big picture.  Yes, I know gossip is wrong, but I tend to be gullible when I hear or read things.  I am a curious person I guess.  Gullible is too strong a word.  I admit I am sheltered and naive about a lot of things, but I am not dumb.  Lord, I am sorry for all of the wrongs I have committed.  I put my total trust in You and acknowledge You in all my ways.  I ask that You would direct my paths and forgive me of my doubts and my lack of faith.
It was as if I was kidding myself.  I had to convince myself almost.  Thank You for giving me such great insight.

Today, You gave me the courage to write about this and not worry what the rest of the world would think.  I feel like a weight has lifted off of me.  I give You all of the praise.  Thank You.

Sincerely,

Letters to God

Wednesday, November 13, 2013

Peace and rest

Dear God,

Today has been a rather interesting day.  My father is someone that I remember fondly.  He was a good dad and a good man.  I will miss him greatly.  I do wonder what life would be like had he lived.  He died of cancer many years ago today.  It was a day that I wish I could go back and change.  He led and interesting life rather.  Well, all I say is may he rest in peace.

I didn't have to go to the tutoring session today.  I hope that my student is doing well.  I am glad that I am doing something productive.  I am also learning myself.  I am just glad.  He is doing much better because of me.  I do wish I had paid more attention yesterday to his work instead of the movie that was playing in the house.  I am just glad that he has been helped.  I like the fact that his grandmother pushes him.

You have always been there for me and for that, I am thankful.  I hope to continue eating from a low calorie diet.  I would like to lose over 100 lbs.  However, I had no idea how less stress it is too eat a low calorie diet from a diet with a higher amount of calories.  I would like for this to continue.  Help me to overcome my weight loss fears.

I am just doing pretty well.  I don't feel bad about anything today. Thank You that I am alive and doing well.

Sincerely,

Letters to God

Tuesday, November 12, 2013

Low calorie weight issues

Dear God,

Help me to do what is hard.  I need more motivation, energy, and wisdom to lose weight.  I need to lose much weight.  I am being honest.  I am not the healthiest person for my age.  I guess I am in fair health.

I wish I was in good health.  I feel like I squandered my health and I took my health for granted.  I wonder if I should have joined a weight loss program now that I am more motivated.  Lately, I found myself binging because I felt like giving up.

I thought that I had learned my lesson, but I did not, I guess.  I want, need, and desire to change, but I don't know how.

Sincerely,


Letters to God

Monday, November 11, 2013

Feelings

Dear God,

Give me the motivation, wisdom, and energy to lose weight, though I admit that is not the only thing that I am concerned with.  I feel like I have so much to deal with as I feel like I have the weight of the world on my shoulders.  Stress is not a good feeling to have.  I ask that You would take away the stress and help me to relax as relaxation has been hard for me.

Help me to eat well and exercise.  Rather, help me to do a better job of taking my health more seriously, and show that I am.  Maybe I am not.  I would like to know how much I wish to lose and how many calories that I wish to consume per day.

I lack the faith that I need to get my prayers answered.  I believe however that You have a plan for my life.  I thank You that You think enough of me to have a plan for me.  I don't know what it is but I am not sure that my faith is as strong as it should be.  I ask that You would help me with my doubt and my lack of belief.  Forgive me for being a doubtful, double-minded person.

I sometimes feel like I have been lying to myself and to You.  I am not really certain about anything to be honest.  In fact, I feel like I have been unsure about everything in my life.  I do feel a lot of guilt about things and I would like to overcome that guilt.  I made mistakes and I wish that I didn't have thoughts due to the fact that I failed to act.

I do would like to turn back the hands of time, but I cannot.  Help me, Lord, to understand that I need to move on.  Give me the wisdom and help me to take stock of my life.  Lord, what is really going on in my life as there are so many uncertainties concerning me?  I often don't even know why I am here and who I am?  I do too much and care too much for what others think and that is the root of my problem.

I admit that I don't live the holiest life and I don't know what to do.  Change me and renew my life.  Purify my heart and create a right spirit within me.  Give me wisdom, for You give wisdom liberally.  I need to know wisdom about myself and who I truly am and what I should do.  I repent of all of my sins, Lord.  Forgive me.

Sincerely,

Letters to God

Sunday, November 10, 2013

Telling God the whole truth

Lord,

Give me the courage to tell You how I really feel.  I am glad to tell You how I really feel today.  I feel so much better than I did a few short minutes ago.  I wasn't so sure because I had doubts.  I wonder if I will always have doubts.  I just wish to live right and be right.  I wish to be a pure-in-heart believer in Christ.  However, I don't trust my motives.  I don't trust myself.  I will put my trust in You and acknowledge You in all my ways.  Why do I feel distant to You though?  That is the problem.

Sincerely,

Letters to God

Saturday, November 9, 2013

Being truthful

Dear Heavenly Father,

I didn't behave myself today.  I did some things that I are wrong and for that, I am sorry.  Yesterday was such a great day because of the session that I had.  Today was just as good.  I don't ever want to be continually sinning.  I want to be an over comer not someone who is constantly frustrated.  That is what I have been.  Not everything is okay.  There is a lot wrong with me.  I am constantly battling my weight and my mindset is all wrong.  I have tried to change my mindset but something seems to hold me back. 

I have obsessive thoughts that have held me back.  They have impeded my progress spiritually.  It takes time away from You and it is an impediment to keep me from sinning.  I know that I will never be perfected but I am supposed to be perfected.  Why do I keep messing up?  I am not happy.  I am not happy with things just the way they are.

I want to change because I feel like I need to change.  I wish I knew what to do.  I keep saying that I give You complete and total control, but nothing happens.  Why doesn't anything happen?  Do I need to pray about that?  Have I not given You total and complete control?  Is there something wrong with me?  I wish I knew.  I don't understand.

Sincerely,

Letters to God

Friday, November 8, 2013

Frustrations to overcome

Dear God,

Help me to overcome my frustrations.  I have been frustrated over my weight and my eating habits.  I have gained quite a bit of weight.  I admit that I am a glutton with a binge problem.  Help me to take care of myself and to take stock of my health and myself.  Maybe it is true.  I have not taken my health as seriously as I have.  Help me to see myself as You see me.  I need Your guidance in this manner.  I give You complete and total control over my health, my eating habits, and I ask for Your help in taking stock of my health.  I thank You, for Your help will be greatly appreciated.

Sincerely,

Letters to God

Wednesday, November 6, 2013

Thankful for a good day

Dear God,

I have gotten good news today.  I actually did something for someone else and I succeeded.  I feel great about it.  I am quite pleased with that news.  Yesterday I was unsure about things because I didn't take enough time brushing up on my geometry skills.  But at least I have come to an understanding that with Your help.  You gave me the wisdom and guidance I needed to do a good job!  Thank You!  Today was a good day overall.  With You all things are possible.  Thank You.

Sincerely,


Letters to God

Tuesday, November 5, 2013

Troubles have been taken care of..

Dear God,

Thank You for everything.  You have been good to me.  Help me to see reality whenever my mind tends to wander.  I have had a rough few weeks and I have not benefited once.  It is crazy that I didn't think that I could be proactive and get help.  I got help from You.  Thank You.  It is hard for me to express my gratitude and because of You, my fortitude.

It has been a rough few days since I ate so much food.  I didn't think I would binge like I did.  I am so sorry, Lord.  I felt so alone at times and so miserable deep down this morning.  I felt down about myself because I felt like such a weak willed person.  The truth is, that without You, all of us are weak-willed.  No one can truly make it without You.  I know I can't.  I am truly thankful because You are for real, because you are real.

I love You because You first loved me.  Sometimes I allowed my flesh to take over even though the Spirit is willing.  The flesh is weak.  Remind me of that, Lord.  I need to be reminded of much.  I also realized that there are others who carry bigger crosses than me.  There are moments when I don't see it.  Give me strength and understanding through these times.  Remind me continually that You are there for me and that You are faithful.  You will never just let me go. 

Thank You for never leaving me nor forsaking me.

Sincerely,


Letters to God

Monday, November 4, 2013

Calming my mind down

Dear Heavenly Father,

I need Your help.  Forgive me for allowing myself to get caught up in the things of the world.  I am sorry about that.  I am just so confused.  Please, take total control of my thoughts.  Help me to relax and calm my mind.  I believe that a calm mind equals a calm disposition.  It slows down my thoughts and eases the symptoms.  I realize that my obsession (I hate the word crush.) is taking away time from You.  I feel like I am getting stronger but today, I lack self-control.  Help me in this area, Lord.

Sincerely,


 Letters to God

Saturday, November 2, 2013

Help

Dear God,

Help me to be a loving person even to those who seem to be the most unlovable.  There is so much nastiness and hatred in the world that I don't want to contribute to.  I want no part of it, but since I am in the world, I will have to deal with it.  So much is going on.  I wait for Your quick return.

Even so, come, Lord Jesus.

Sincerely,


Letters to God

Friday, November 1, 2013

Remind me

Dear God,

When I consider my life, there are things, I admit, that I fail to do.  Remind me of those in Christ that they are too my brothers and sisters.  There are people in the world who are truly being persecuted for their faith in You.  Remind me to pray for them and to care about what is going on with them.  Paul was persecuted and so were most of Your disciples.  Let us in America remember those things.  There is so much gone wrong in the American Church that we don't see the big picture.  We don't understand what it is like to be imprisoned, beaten, raped, and even killed because of one's faith.  I pray for those in the Middle East, Africa, Asia, and other parts of the world where Christians are truly being persecuted.  Unlike the United States, there is no freedom of religion for believers.  Remind me constantly of that.

I don't trust myself.  I however put my trust in You.  Remind me of those who are in need.  There are many of us who have no idea what it is like to be so poor, one truly have to make sacrifices for their children by feeding them and not feeding themselves.  While we in America are among the fortunate, the poor in other countries are truly poor.  It wouldn't surprise me if there are poor people in the US who would be considered part of the middle class in other countries.  That is how fortunate we as Americans are.  May I myself not neglect the poor.

There is so much pain and suffering in the world.  I count my blessings as I should.  There are many who don't know You.  There are those in my family who truly do not know the Lord because they practice false religion.  I try to witness to others and to them, but it seems futile.  Then again, I had a mote in my own eye.  How do I become a better witness to others when I have a mote in my own eye?  My sins are just like other people's.  To clarify to You, we are all sinners, but I don't wish to have misused the grace You have shown me and I worry that I have.

I am sorry for all of the wrongs I have committed.  More than anything I want to be a true born-again believer who has the assurance of her salvation.  I don't want to doubt being born again.  I guess that is where faith comes in.  I want to endure.  I want to be ready for Your return.

Even so, come, Lord Jesus.

Sincerely,


Letters to God

Thursday, October 31, 2013

Repentance and guidance

Dear God,

Have I done anything lately that I have not repented of?  How has my life been unpleasing to You?  I wondered what I need to do.  I need to know this.  I ask for the guidance of the Holy Spirit.  Thank You for giving me this guidance.

In Jesus' name,

Amen

Wednesday, October 30, 2013

Thank You, Lord, for a good day

Heavenly Father,

Today was a good day.  Forgive me, however, for my sins.  I am pleased with myself, but I couldn't have done that without You.  I praise You because You are worthy of praise.

Thank You.

Sincerely,


Letters to God



Tuesday, October 29, 2013

Psalm 51

Have mercy upon me, O God, according to thy lovingkindness: according unto the multitude of thy tender mercies blot out my transgressions.
Wash me throughly from mine iniquity, and cleanse me from my sin.
For I acknowledge my transgressions: and my sin is ever before me.
Against thee, thee only, have I sinned, and done this evil in thy sight: that thou mightest be justified when thou speakest, and be clear when thou judgest.
Behold, I was shapen in iniquity; and in sin did my mother conceive me.
Behold, thou desirest truth in the inward parts: and in the hidden part thou shalt make me to know wisdom.
Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean: wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow.
Make me to hear joy and gladness; that the bones which thou hast broken may rejoice.
Hide thy face from my sins, and blot out all mine iniquities.
10 Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me.
11 Cast me not away from thy presence; and take not thy holy spirit from me.
12 Restore unto me the joy of thy salvation; and uphold me with thy free spirit.
13 Then will I teach transgressors thy ways; and sinners shall be converted unto thee.
14 Deliver me from bloodguiltiness, O God, thou God of my salvation: and my tongue shall sing aloud of thy righteousness.
15 O Lord, open thou my lips; and my mouth shall shew forth thy praise.
16 For thou desirest not sacrifice; else would I give it: thou delightest not in burnt offering.
17 The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit: a broken and a contrite heart, O God, thou wilt not despise.
18 Do good in thy good pleasure unto Zion: build thou the walls of Jerusalem.
19 Then shalt thou be pleased with the sacrifices of righteousness, with burnt offering and whole burnt offering: then shall they offer bullocks upon thine altar.

Monday, October 28, 2013

God's Kindness

Dear God,

Thank You for the day that I had.  You are so good to me.  You also have been good to me.  Thank You for Your goodness and kindness.

Sincerely,

Letters to God

Sunday, October 27, 2013

Stable life

Dear God,

I wasn't sure what to write You today.  However, I have to write that I am sorry that I forgot to write to You yesterday.  I meant to, however.  Today has been a good day.  I am glad that I am no longer hiding or holding things in.  My obsessions usually get out of hand.  I wonder why I couldn't be just infatuated or be a fan.  Why does my mind have to go too far?  I feel like I am going to lose it.  Life is more stable than it has been and for that, I give You the credit.  Thank You.

Sincerely,

Letters to God

Friday, October 25, 2013

Gratefulness

Dear God,

Thank You for being the God of provision.  I look back at my life and I see that my needs have been met because of You.  Thank You.  I am forever indebted unto You all the days of my life.  You have done more for me than I can repay.  I want to say thank You.

Sincerely,

Letters to God

Thursday, October 24, 2013

Grateful

Dear God,

Thank You.  I am happy that I have spent time with You today.  I realize that spending time with You spells spiritual growth.  Thank You for helping me to discern between what is good and what is bad.  You have given me the assurance of salvation.  Thank You for saving me.  You know my heart and mind and I thank You for knowing me and everything about me.  You are so good to me and I thank You for that.  I am just grateful. 

Sincerely,


Letters to God

Wednesday, October 23, 2013

Tired

Dear Heavenly Father,

I had my appointment today.  Even after my nap I am still tired.  I cannot find anything to muse about or even to think about at the moment.  I am okay but I need You to help me to re-evaluate my life.  What do I need to do?  How do I talk to You about this?  I often ask these questions because I pray words that I don't seem to mean.  At least that is how it seems. Maybe I need to be less complaining and more positive and grateful in my prayers.  Lord, teach me how to pray.

In Jesus' name,

Amen

Tuesday, October 22, 2013

Lacking

Dear God,

Life is decent.  However, I wonder how decent life is.  My obsession is weakening which is good.  However,  I need Your help.  You see,  I need a social life.  I need help with overcoming my obsessions and staying strong while I am still in the world.  My obsessions signify a need for a social life and that is one thing I lack.  What else do I lack? I lack a sense of self-worth and an identity.  How do I go about overcoming this lack of self-worth and identity?  I have no clue who I really am.  Where in this world do I stand out?

I need help in wondering where I am headed and how I am living my life.  I have not exercised myself physically and spiritually as of late and I would like to begin.  I have to just go ahead and do so.  I have gotten lazy over the past 2 weeks and I was doing well.  I don't wish to go back as I have lost a few pounds.  However, I hope to lose a few more to get to a certain point.  I plan to lose a few pounds and fewer calories at a time.

I have focused so much on the things of the world I believe.  I rarely if ever focused on You.  I am sorry for my lack of focus.  I need to fellowship more often and to worship and share Your love and Your life with others.  I have not been as diligent as I should as well.  Where do I begin?

How do I surrender all of this over to You?  How I have been living and what I have been doing have not been pleasing or respectful to You.  Father, forgive me.

Sincerely,


Letters to God

Monday, October 21, 2013

Spend time with God

Dear God,

Forgive me for not taking the time to speak with You this morning.  I am supposed to spend some quality time praying to You and studying Your word.  For this, I am sorry.  I want to thank You for saving me and for Your grace. 

Sincerely,


Letters to God

Sunday, October 20, 2013

Time with God

Dear God,

I am so sorry that I sometimes get caught up in the world.  I have been caught up in gossip and things of this world mainly because of my obsessions.  My mind does tend to wonder and I am mindless at times of the consequences of my actions.  I often make too much small talk with You, Lord.  I ask that You would forgive me of all of my sins.  This weekend I have been cold towards You as far as spiritually and for that, I am truly sorry.  I was wrong.

I have been led by the Spirit of God that there was something that I should have done differently.  I don't remember what it was but it was about spending time with You.  I have all the time in the world so how do I overcome my obsessions?  How do I pray without ceasing?  Should I go on ahead and schedule my time with You?

I ask that You would lead me into these answers.  I have to realize that my obsessions are just that: obsessions.  No matter how benign they seem, they are troublesome and in the end, produce no good results.  Forgive me, Lord.

Sincerely,


Letters to God

Saturday, October 19, 2013

Psalm 150

Praise the Lord.
Praise God in his sanctuary;
    praise him in his mighty heavens.
Praise him for his acts of power;
    praise him for his surpassing greatness.
Praise him with the sounding of the trumpet,
    praise him with the harp and lyre,
praise him with timbrel and dancing,
    praise him with the strings and pipe,
praise him with the clash of cymbals,
    praise him with resounding cymbals.
Let everything that has breath praise the Lord.
Praise the Lord.

Friday, October 18, 2013

Obsession for today

Dear God,

I have read some things about my obsession that aren't very nice.  The truth is, I will never get to know him.  I have not met him.  In fact, he was practically all I think about today.  I thought about him for all of the wrong reasons.  He is only a man, so why does my mind work the way it does?  I will never know, but You know.  You are Omniscient and Omnipresent.  You know my heart and my thoughts.  I wonder if my thoughts are sinful as far as them being obsessive thoughts.  I feel confused because one minute I enjoy having them because they are a distraction.  Then the next minute, I feel like I am doing something so wrong.  Help me to see this situation as You see it and if there anything that I need to repent of, forgive me.

Sincerely,

Letters to God

Thursday, October 17, 2013

Struggling

Dear Lord,

I am struggling with sin in my life and I do not know how to overcome it.  Forgive me of my sins including these that I am struggling with.  I have tried on my own to stop.  However, I was wrong to not to turn to You.  I need Your help in overcoming my sins and to go on about Your business so to speak.  Father, help me.

In Jesus' name,
Amen

Wednesday, October 16, 2013

Total control

Dear Lord,

Thank You for waking me up this morning.  Help me to be mindful and focused on the day ahead.  I give You complete and total control over my eating and weight loss habits.  I thank You that with You, all things are possible.  You are bigger than any problem that I face and for that I appreciate it.

In Jesus' name,

Amen

Monday, October 14, 2013

Everything

Dear Lord,

I thank You for everything You have done for me.  I realize that I need to take my health more seriously by relaxing and putting the plan in motion.  How I simplify it, I need Your guidance.  I gained more than 8 pounds and I am not proud, but I feel motivated.  I would feel sad about it but strangely enough, I don't.

Mickey Rourke has become less of a focus though he is still on my mind.  It is going to take time for my obsession to go away.  I realize that.  All I need to do is to be patient.  He is a good actor, but he is certainly not You.  He is a flawed human being who needs You for His salvation just like the rest of us.  I ask and pray that he does not reject that.

I ask that You will renew my mind and that You will change me from the inside.  I am a different person now because of You and for that, I am thankful.

Sincerely,


Letters to God

Sunday, October 13, 2013

Sunday the 13th

Dear God,

Mickey Rourke has become much less of a focus than he has been in a while.  I committed idolatry and for that I am sorry.  I was bummed out and a little depressed this past week.  I am so sorry for all of my sins.  Forgive me, Lord.

Thank You for all that You have done for me.  My mind is clear and I am no longer depressed.  I give You complete and total control.  I want to be healthier and happier.  I want to be certain and not have my mind clouded by doubts.

Help me overcome those doubts for there are quite a few.  I have doubted my salvation for years and it has been hard.  I need to also talk to my counselor about this.  I have made some wise decisions, yet following through has been hard.

I admit that none of us humans can afford to procrastinate, but many of us do.  I am one of these people and I would like to change that.  Renew my mind and change my mindset.  I need help in that area.  Following through has mentally been easy but putting it into practice is what is hard.

I have noticed certain things about me this past week that I need to learn for the rest of my life.  I don't wish to jinx myself by my words and by my thoughts and I feel like I tend to do that.  I want to be real and to be honest without jinxing myself.  Help me and instill confidence in me, Lord.  I need those things and I believe that help is on the way and in great supply.  Help me to be wise and knowledgeable enough to do what You call me to do.

I believe that once I call on You, You will answer my prayers in a way that I will not understand.  I am glad that You have answered.  I do expect a miracle in my life.  I am afraid that I will do badly and that I will fail.  I want to keep moving forward and not give up.  I have felt like giving up this past week.  But because of You, I have not.  I am on my way back.

I have an appointment tomorrow to see a nutritionist and maybe with the questions that I have I wonder how many calories I should eat per day.  Maybe I should give her or whoever the motivations sheet.  I am tired of the confusion and all of the craziness called my life.  You are the Calm in the midst of the storm.  Thank You.

Sincerely,

Letters to God

Saturday, October 12, 2013

Friday, October 11, 2013

Temperance

Dear God,

I need You, Lord.  I need You.  By the way, what does temperance mean?  Is it about being meek?  How do I become temperate, if that is even a word?  I had this word in my head and I believe that it is You speaking to me.  Thank You for Your word.  I will follow You.

In Jesus' name,

Amen

Thursday, October 10, 2013

Wednesday, October 9, 2013

Help me, for I am lacking in self-control

Lord,

What has happened to me?  I know that there is something wrong with me.  I hate it and I am not proud of what I have done.  I have these obsessions that could end up driving me crazy and I am binge eating.  I need help with self-control, which is what I am lacking in.

Forgive me, Lord, for the sins of lust, gluttony, idolatry, and lacking of self-control.  I know that self-control is a fruit of the Spirit and I am struggling to exhibiting the fruits of the Spirit.  I feel unproductive in that manner.

My conduct I admit is not godly and I want it to stop.  I am struggling and I am alone.  I admit that I isolate myself a lot.  I am afraid of the reaction of others and what they think of me.  How do I stop binging?  How do I get over my obsessions?  How do I stop committing lustful acts and have lustful thoughts that are unseemly and ungodly?

Help me, Lord.

Sincerely,

Letters to God

Monday, October 7, 2013

My issue with binging

Dear God,

I am feeling a little bit down.  I am embarrassed by my actions today.  I not only have an eating problem.  I binged.  It isn't cool, cute, or funny.  It is just embarrassing to say the least.
I am afraid to log in because I still care what people think.  I still crave unhealthy foods and even healthier foods.  I don't know if I could stop on my very own.  Help me.

Sincerely,


Letters to God

Sunday, October 6, 2013

More on Mickey Rourke

Dear God,

Yesterday I wrote about Mickey Rourke and his ex-wife Carre Otis.  My "feelings" toward her are not true feelings but what the obsession says I should feel.  It is wrong and for that, I apologize to You and to myself.

I also wrote about Mickey and I wonder if it is time for me to tell someone else, like my mother.  I just want to know how to go about doing so.  I have an obsession with Mickey Rourke that just won't go away, even in my dreams.

I have tried to let it go, but to no avail.  Help me in this matter, Lord.  I feel like a failure for not working hard enough or for not resisting temptation enough.  I am confused in my feelings about him.  One minute I hate having this obsession.  And the next minute, I just love it because it takes time away from any other obsessive thought that I may have.

I am just a wreck.  Does my obsession with Mickey Rourke take time away from You?  Is it idolatry if I am obsessed?  I no longer have a crush on Mickey Rourke, but it is an obsession.  I feel like I am going crazy and my obsession is taking me places where I don't want to go.

I feel like I want to be friends with him.  I am even obsessed with one of his other friends and co-stars, especially from the Expendables.  It has become one of my favorite movies.  I just love that movie, but I believe that maybe I shouldn't watch it too much.  Mickey is just a gorgeous and sexy man to me, depending on what he is wearing or not wearing.  Oops.

How do I overcome this lust with Mickey Rourke?  I have a habit of being obsessed and stalking men I find attractive.  I wish I had a real relationship with someone I can call my own.  However, how do I strike up a conversation with someone when I have no place to go?  I feel lonely sometimes and I admit that I do need someone to talk to.

Forgive me for my sins.  I have been struggling with lust for quite some time now and I need help.  I have been in a struggle to stop, but I always give in.  I need Your strength to overcome temptation.  What should I do and how should I go about it?  I need Your help, obvious help for my obsession.  I have been obsessed with others for years and I am concerned that I will have another one I have a hard time controlling.  I wish that it was easy, but it is not.  Help me to be wise and stand strong in this.  Maybe I am approaching it all wrong.  However, I need guidance in my life.  I pray for guidance. 

Guide me with Your eye, Lord.  Help me to see Mickey as You see him.  Mickey is not You at all and I hope that I don't see him as such.  However, I do have lustful thoughts about him and I would like to know what it would be like to sleep with someone.  I am a virgin after all.  How do I begin a new chapter in my life?  I want to be healthier, happier, and whole.  Lord, guide me in that direction.  Thy will be done.

Sincerely,

Letters to God

Saturday, October 5, 2013

MR and CO

Dear God,

Thank You.  I have been having obsessive thoughts with Mickey Rourke and his ex-wife Carre Otis.  You see, Carre wrote a book about her life which chronicles even her marriage to Mickey Rourke.  I  have read about those two and even I find the time suspect.  I don't wish to end up not liking her because of a book she wrote.  I don't know her nor have I met her.  I'm sure she is a nice person since I haven't read the book and I don't know her.  The truth is, the OCD wants me to not like her because of what I read from other people and because I am a "fan" of Mickey Rourke.

Mickey Rourke was gorgeous back in the day.  It is sad that he had so much surgery that he looks so different.  It is as if he is two different people.  I even have lustful thoughts about him.  I wonder what it would be like to be a friend or girlfriend of his.  Notice I never said wife.  If he was as bad as Carre said he was, then I am glad to have never have the thoughts about him.  I wish the thoughts and obsession about him would go away.  I am putting these thoughts in proper perspective.

I am obsessed with this man to the point where I am doing searches of him and his pics.  I even liked some of his pics and pages on Facebook. I really don't like that I am doing this.  I always give in to temptation, the temptation to do the things that I know not to do and to do the things that don't make any sense.  It seems as if I am obsessed and no longer have an adult crush on him.  It seemed harmless at first but I realize that it isn't.

Maybe I was being shallow.  Mickey isn't conventionally good-looking but he seems to have qualities that appeals to me, not to mention that he is fit.  He is a good actor and I like his voice.  Now if only I can see him for who he is and what he is like.  I will pray for Mickey and Carre.  I am not sure but I think that Mickey is Catholic and Carre is Buddhist.  Anyways, I don't know what kind of people they really are.  I watched at least four of his movies in the past few months and I would obsess if I miss a movie with him in it. 

He was so cute in Diner.  He was sexy in "Iron Man 2".  He was cool in the Expendables as I loved his voice.  I am exposing myself to You this way because You already know and because I want to see what these thoughts are all about.  I need to relax my mind for I know that with a mind that is not calm, the thoughts are given more power to lack some better words.  Father, help me see life past these thoughts.  I pray that Carre and Mickey both find you, Lord, and that they receive You as Savior and Lord.  Carre came a long way and so did Mickey and they should thank You for their blessings, not whoever Catholics and Buddhists give credit to.

Help me to see things  and people as they really are.  I don't wish to explain, justify, or whatever what I should not do to rationalize my thoughts.  Heal me of those thoughts and may my obsessions no longer bother me.  I don't wish to just manage my thoughts anymore, for they can be annoying like a swarm of flies.  They used to sting like a swarm of bees, but I am learning to understand and see how silly they are.  Help me to see them as they really are, images, and flawed human beings, warts and all.  Carre was a drug addict and Mickey is a plastic surgery addict who smokes like a chimney. 

There is a part of me that is attracted to him and a part of me that feels sorry for him.  Help me to see them as You see them.  Thank You for all that You have done for me and I ask You for forgiveness, Lord as I have committed idolatry and lust and selfishness.  Thank You for taking care of me.  Help me to focus on You and the things of God, especially during times of weakness.  Show Yourself strong during those times, especially during those times, Lord.

In Jesus' Name,

Amen

Friday, October 4, 2013

Social life and weighty issues...again

Dear God,

I need a social life.  I admit that I need to go out more.  I have no transportation of my very own.  I would like to chat with other people.  It will be difficult to do.  I am shy and sheltered as You know.  I would like to carry on a conversation with other people. I have obsessive thoughts that could be triggered by carrying on a conversation with others.  I wouldn't know what to talk about. 

I need to lose some weight.  I don't know how much I want to lose, or rather weigh exactly.  I give You total and complete control over my exercise and eating habits.  I am exercising yet I sometimes worry if I am physically able to even walk because of my swollen ankle.  I am asking that You would heal my back and my ankle.

My stomach is in the way of  being more flexible, so I do not know if I should only target ab exercises or if I should target my body.  I would like to actually meet someone who is an actual personal trainer, but how can I afford a trainer?  I would like to lose weight and keep it off.  It is frustrating being on a weight loss plateau.  How do I change up my routine?

I need wisdom and guidance.  I need help.  I ask You for these things.  I thank You for giving me wisdom, guidance, and help.  My health depends on it.  My very life and limbs depend on it.

In Jesus' name,

Amen

Thursday, October 3, 2013

Help me, Lord

Dear God,

Thank You for waking me up this morning.  I feel like giving up on my diet.  My eating habits are poor and I have yet to eat in moderation.  It does me no good if I try to eat in moderation without being mindful.

Help me to be mindful of what I eat.  I need help.  If I can conquer fears and cast them over to You, then I can get help with that.  I am sorry that I forgot to write a letter to You yesterday.

I am overweight with low self esteem.  Help me to work on that, too, Lord.

Sincerely,

Letters to God

Tuesday, October 1, 2013

Racism

Dear God,

Really?  Why can't we all just get along?  Racism is a sin, plain and simple.  How come people not always see race in everything?  Sure racism, prejudice, and bigotry exist.  But I wonder how much racism really is in the world.  It is not a place of love yet it is a place where love does exist.  It is sad that while there is segregation and violence in our churches, others are being blown up and believers are getting killed.

Why can't the Word of God be preached?  Who am I to judge?  I think that I can judge this situation.  I ask all of these questions because of the incident with the bikers and the Asian guy some of them beat up.  Black people have been marginalized long enough and white people are being hurt because of the actions of their ancestors and those who are truly hateful and racist.

I will pray for those in the churches around the world and those who are truly hateful and racist.  I have known people who are prejudiced and racist and many of them are not loving people.  They are often hypocritical and narrow-minded.  It is a shame that there are people who have those issues.; and I thought I had those issues.

I confess I am sheltered.  I admire people who do well for You and serve You.  It seems that they have their spiritual stuff together.  They are flawed humans, too, but they seem to be more
spiritual too.  Race and color are things they don't see the distinctions and differences the way others see people.  There is sadly so much racism and prejudice in our churches that the rest of the world puts us to shame. 

Maybe I should go into the mission field, at least in this country.  What is Your plan for my life?  What skills do I have?  How do I use those skills?  How do You want for me to serve You?  Help me and give me wisdom, Lord.  I thank You for doing so.

In Jesus' name,

Amen

Monday, September 30, 2013

I can conquer fears

Dear God,

I thank You for another day.  Today is my birthday and I am very happy about this day.  I feel like that because of You, I have learned about conquering and facing my fears.  That is a great gift for me and I thank You.  You have answered my prayers.

Sincerely,

Letters to God

Sunday, September 29, 2013

Conquerer..

Dear God,

Thank You.  I needed help and still do need help conquering my fears.  I cast my fears upon You.  Thank You for caring for me.  It is hard living with fear and anxiety, but at least You are there.  I know that I couldn't have made it without You.  Thank You.

Sincerely,


Letters to God

Saturday, September 28, 2013

My family

Dear Heavenly Father,

Thank You for Your salvation.  Thank You for giving me that assurance.  There are relatives who don't know You.  They are either deceived by false religion or I am not sure if they are saved by their conduct.  I know I am not one to pass ungodly judgment, but I want them to be saved.  Save them, Lord Jesus.  Give them the assurance of their salvation and of Your salvation.  Let them know that not only did Jesus died for them, but also conquered Hell and the grave for them.  Also, let them know that life is too short not to be saved and live for You.  May they serve You for their rest their lives and may their names be written in the Lamb's Book of Life.  Thank You for saving them.

In Jesus' Name,

Amen

Friday, September 27, 2013

Facing

Dear God,

Help me to face my fears.  Help me to face disappointments.  I guess all of us have our fears and disappointments, but this one is a doozy.  I am feeling bummed about something that happened today.  My ride passed me by and then she said that she could take me but I would be late.  So, what did I do?  I had to cancel my appointment.  I was ready to go, too.  I am feeling bummed.  If only I had done something differently.  Help me to face uncertainties as well.

Sincerely,

Letters to God

Thursday, September 26, 2013

Facing my fears

Dear God,

I was listening to a sermon about fear.  Help me to face my fears.  It seems that I fear everything.  I don't know how to face my fears.  I feel alone in this.  I ask for Your wisdom in all of this.  I need Your strength to overcome those fears.

I got this idea from a post written on a website and I got to thinking about it.  I need to face my fears instead of run away from them.  Should I write about them and expose them? What should I do?

It would be nice to overcome my fears and just move forward with living life.  I would be the wiser and stronger for it.  I can only imagine living a fearless life.  I am not sure about facing my fears however.

They seem so large and so varied.  Help me, Lord to face those fears and to overcome them.  I am not to supposed to live life full of fear but full of hope.

Sincerely,

Letters to God

Wednesday, September 25, 2013

Help me to see...

Dear Lord,

Help me to see what beauty is all about.  I want to be a beautiful person inside and out, or so it seems.  Inner beauty I have learned is far more important than outer beauty.  Outer beauty is subjective while inner beauty is not.  It is fixed.  Inner beauty is about a person's heart and their character.  I have been told that I have a beautiful personality and I am a nice person.  Yet others see me as ugly or don't really talk about how I look.

It is hard to see myself as beautiful sometimes as my self-esteem is low.  Help me to see myself as beautiful on the outside as well as the inside.  I never really thought of myself deep down as beautiful.  If someone were to tell me that, then I would have a hard time believing that.  I am overweight, short, and wear glasses because I am nearsighted.  That is what I see as well as the huge stomach that I have.

It is frustrating to be me sometimes.  I want to lose weight.  I diet and exercise yet I am still doing something wrong.  Okay, I need to learn to eat better than I have been.  I need to be mindful.  I pray for a direction of my paths, guidance, and wisdom.  Help me to be wise to the world and how I see people.  I am fighting a battle that I sometimes believe I could win.  Help me to see myself in a more positive light.  May I resist the devil and he will flee from me.  Help me to be a confident woman who stands on her own two feet.  Help me to see that I too am smart, beautiful, and not just someone who has to hide or feel sorry for herself.

I want to be humble and kind yet gracious and not a pushover.  Give me the courage to say no sometimes.  I need wisdom, guidance, and direction in my life.  God, help me, and thank You.

In Jesus' name,

Amen

Tuesday, September 24, 2013

Fun

Dear God,

I have just finished exercising or rather dancing.  That was fun.  I need to have fun more often.  I am so serious because of how I see life.  Sometimes I take some things way too seriously and other times I have learned that maybe I don't take things seriously enough.  I wished that I had looked at life differently and maybe just maybe life would just be easier. 

I guess all I can do is learn from my mistakes and grow.  I am not sure, but I believe that I have grown up a lot over the last few years.  I have You to thank.  That is what I am most certain of.

Sincerely,

Letters to God

Monday, September 23, 2013

Questions to ask

Dear God,

Is it okay that I think outside the box when it comes to even You and your creation?  I wonder this because there are so many things that I don't know.  I guess I have this in common with other believers, and non-believers.  We all have questions that we all would like to ask, but I wonder if fear has something to do with not asking those questions.  Or is it that asking questions have a lot to do with a lack of faith?  Maybe I should learn to ask more questions as maybe I need to think outside the box more.

Sincerely,

Letters to God

Sunday, September 22, 2013

Becoming an overcomer

Dear God,

I have problems exhibiting self-control and also have problems overcoming some issues.  I wish I could overcome these things.  I don't have that power, but You do.  I thank You for that.  Forgive me of my sins; help me to overcome those things that are troubling me.  For when I am weak then I am strong.  Show yourself strong, O Lord.  I need Your help.

In Jesus' name,

Amen

Saturday, September 21, 2013

My journey

Dear God,

Thank You for Your Word.  I wasn't sure about a few things, but I realize that what I am going through is a spiritual battle.  However, there are times when I am not confident that I am going to win.  I feel helpless and weak to do anything because I am lost and I don't know what to do.  I have finally realized how wrong this line of thinking is.  Thank You for Your truth.

Your word is most certainly a lamp to my feet.  I love Your word.  I am saddened that I don't take the time to even read a verse on some days, much less entire chapters.  Show me how to apply Your word to my daily life.  Give me strength in times of battle.  May I always be alert, for I trust in You.

Your word says for when I am weak, then I am strong.  I didn't realize this at all.  Now, I do.  You have given me so much hope and a believer needs to be hopeful, especially in these times.  Right now, I am trying not to overeat but it is hard to do when I have spent years struggling, overeating, and binging.

Today I am having a rough battle about the obsession with the actor that I have.  You know who he is and I have spent a lot of my time and my mind over him.  I am not proud of that and I am not patient.  I hate that it has taken a long time to overcome.  I realize that with You, I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

I need Your strength and Your wisdom to make it through the day.  This actor and these obsessive thoughts have been hard to overcome.  Managing these thoughts can be difficult. Reading about the thoughts that I have can be difficult for me.  I felt like giving up sometimes.  How do I approach these thoughts?  In other words, what do I need to do when a thought arises?

These are things that I deal with on a daily basis.  I admit that I cannot take them anymore.  When if they come back like they always do?  How should I handle them?  Should I let the thoughts pass?  What should I do?  Help me, Lord.  It will be and is greatly appreciated.

Sincerely,

Letters to God

Friday, September 20, 2013

Journey

Dear Heavenly Father,

I spent much of the day dealing with health and fitness.  I was feeling loopy today, so I drank some green tea.  I love spending time with You and writing You daily.  Even though I try to write You daily.  There are things that I need to do like read the Bible and pray more.  Forgive me for my sins and cleanse me for my unrighteousness.

I am sorry for my wrongs.  I am not proud of those wrongs that I committed.  I would like to overcome the fear of failure.  I realize that I have accountability, wisdom, and knowledge on my side.  But most importantly, I have You on my side.  I am referring to my weighty issues.

I felt like giving up, but all I had to do was follow a diet and exercise routine.  What made it so difficult was eating in moderation.  I fear not eating in moderation because I have difficulty trying to follow through something for a long time.  But I have found myself to be consistent yet made quite a few mistakes on my journey.  I would like to learn from my mistakes.  Help me not only to learn my mistakes, but to be realistic and consistent.

I have been listening to the advice my counselor gave and it was valuable.  I am learning so much from her and from my counseling sessions.  I have learned that it is about accomplishing the fact that I can actually do something, that I am not powerless or helpless.  I have lost a good amount of weight thus far and it makes me smile that I have lost the weight.  I cast my cares and concerns over to You.  Give me wisdom when it comes to my weight loss journey.

I am at a weight loss plateau that I would like to get out of.  I am learning about this plateau and I had to switch up my routine.  I hope to lose those few pounds very soon.  Guide me into whatever Your plan is for my life and for my health and I thank You for doing so.

In Jesus'  name,

Amen

Thursday, September 19, 2013

Growing up

Dear Heavenly Father,

Thank You for the day I had.  I feel more relief than anything.  I have had my thoughts but I realize that there are times when I have to learn to do things myself and stand on my own two feet.  Help me to see that I am just as good as anybody else.  As You well know, I have become more self-conscious about my weight and about my appearance than ever before.  I hate conflict, yelling and screaming, rejection, and disapproval.  That is a reason why my self-esteem is low.  Now that I have identified the reasons, help me to overcome those fears as I cast all of my cares to You.  I need help in this area and I have struggled with this for years like I have struggled with my weight.  I hope that it doesn't put too much pressure on me like my weight did.  I am easily stressed yet You are there for me.  If You are there for me, then why am I stressed?  Help me.

Sincerely,


Letters to God