The issues of weight and health

Lord Jesus,

Thank You for Your healing touch.  I feel as if despite what my doctor says, my diabetes problem has gotten worse.  I know it is up to me to take charge, but how do I begin?  Where do I begin?  There are times when I have no desire to lose weight, but now I do.  I have lost my way and now I don't understand or realize how serious this really is.  I am in need of wisdom and guidance.  I am not losing wealth because I need to put on a wedding dress, I am not losing those last 5 or 10 pounds, nor am I doing this to find a man or a job.  I am doing this for my health and I have grown tired of the hurt feet, bad back, and the self-consciousness.  I compare myself to others and I am not happy with my appearance.  I have gotten used to being overweight.  I am now realize that I am in denial.  I am growing tired of the "status quo" so to speak.

There are times when I am inspired to lose weight only to feel helpless.  Another reason why I wish to lose weight is that I have also grown tired of feeling like I have had made little to no progress, which is true.  What happened at the diabetes center was a wake up call.  I have been going in circles only to give up.  It is a cycle that I wish to break.  I cannot afford to stay in that cycle until something worse happens.  I am not sure what to ask You.  All I want is for the desire to lose weight.

Give me the strength and motivation to lose weight.  What is a healthy lifestyle?  What does that really mean?  It is a great alternative from dieting because I have gone on diet after diet.  I wonder now if weight loss surgery is a great idea since I am going to a seminar this upcoming month.  Losing weight and trying to lose weight is hard work and I wish that I can make it easier, but I am not sure that is even possible.  All I want is to lose weight and keep it off, whether it is by eating well and exercising, or surgery.

Show me which route I need to take for I am taking it seriously.  Give me not only the motivation and strength, but the skills I need to lose weight. Should I have the lapband surgery and go through everything that goes with the lapband surgery such as the diet and seminars and the consultation before the surgery.?  Should I continue to go at it alone?Should I save money to buy food that is packaged? Where should the support come from as I need all of the support that I can get?  I am fat and it is not the worst thing in the world.  I am also frustrated at 40.  While I have embraced my age, I am still frustrated because of my failures.  Help me, Lord and give me wisdom.  Thank You for Your answer or answers.  What should I do?

In Jesus' name,


Amen