Sunday, October 26, 2014

Something is wrong with me

Dear Heavenly Father,

I feel so alone and unworthy.  What is so wrong with me?  I am just tired of the daily "grind".  I hate my life.  Sometimes, I wonder if it is my fault if I am discouraged.  The truth is, that is what I am.  I need help.  I don't know what else to do or even to say.  I am sorry, Lord.  I feel like I made no progress in life.  I have gone in circles.  That is something that I would like to get out of.  Help me to think on those things that are eternal.  All I do is think on the temporal because I live in a fantasy world and I cannot get out of it.  I realize how crazy it is and how crazy I think I am.  I sometimes have difficulty distinguishing the fake and fantasy from the real world.  I need You.  I am in want of Your love.

I realize that nothing is too hard for You, but it seems too hard for me.  Help me to make life more manageable.  However, that is too limiting and too small.  Help me to do something that is hard and that is to be healed, forgiven, think on the eternal, and  make progress in every area of my life.  I am just cautious of making a mistake and I would like to change that.  I don't know what more needs to change.  The truth is, I don't know how to change and that is what I need to work on.  I am discouraged; I need encouragement and an increase in my faith.

I know something is wrong with me.  Lord, my point is that I could use a miracle.  I need a miracle.  I feel like I am lazy and lack wisdom.  That is something that I am being kind about.  I do have low self-esteem and I am self-conscious and I feel I cannot change those things.  However, I want to know that anything is possible.  It is about change.  I just don't know what to do anymore.


Letters to God