Wednesday, September 30, 2015

Gift of life

Lord Jesus,

Give me strength.  Help me to overcome my fears.  I have come to realize that except for a couple of things, they really are anxieties.  I am no longer afraid.  Thank You for helping me to see the light.  I also thank You that I am alive and well.  I feel like for myself I have a purpose.  I don't know all of the answers but little by little You have been guiding me along the way.  Thank You for giving me life through my mother.  Thank You.

In Jesus' name,


Amen

Tuesday, September 29, 2015

Help and remind me

Heavenly Father,

Help me to not be so lazy and neglectful.  I admit that I have been.  I am sorry.  I am in need of daily reminders to do what I am supposed to do.  Reminders help keep me going..  I have to do so much it seems. The truth is, I am so overwhelmed.  Lord, I ask that You would take away my burdens.  I lift them up to You.  Thank You for taking away those burdens.  I know that You are greater than those burdens.

In Jesus' name,

Amen

Monday, September 28, 2015

Neglecting my praying

Heavenly Father,

I miss praying and communicating to You.  I ask for forgiveness of my sins.  I am sorry that I often postpone or neglect my prayer time with You. Again, I am sorry.  I have been neglectful for a while now.  I don't want to complain to You every time I pray.  This time, I say, thank You.  Thank You for Your forgiveness and for the many blessings You have given to me.  Thank You that I have a purpose.  Thank You for Your will for my life.

Sincerely,


Letters to God

Saturday, September 26, 2015

My own soul and my own life

Lord,

So I was watching this movie called "Sunday Morning Rapture" and it got me to thinking about my own soul and my own life.  How do I examine myself to see if I am of the faith?  How do I not worry and be so anxious all of the time?  What does it also mean to work out our salvation with fear and with trembling? I know for now that at the end of the movie, those who were left behind were wailing and crying, realizing their fate.  I realize that there will be many who will be like the people in the church in that movie.  I don't want to be left behind.  I do realize that I have not always done Your will.  Lord, I am afraid that I won't be ready. I have finally realized that there is much work to be done.  You have given all of us a job to do and much is required of us.  Unfortunately, I am failing and I have failed to do so, Lord.  Forgive me of this and all of my sins.  The truth is, how do I do what is required of me?  I know that I am supposed to do Your will, but I have no clue what Your will is.  I don't want to be saved just because I want to go to Heaven, but to also love, cherish, and serve You.  I remember once I had no real knowledge of You back in the day.  I also recall believing in You and being saved from that moment on.  I didn't always act like a saved person and I have done things that I know were and still are wrong.  Lord, forgive me of those sins.  I want to be a changed person.  I want to be a new person in Christ.  I want to be a saved, obedient believer in the Lord Jesus Christ who is enduring and remained faithful to You.  I ask for these things, because I want my life to be a story of a person who lived according to Your will because of obedience.

Thank You for answering this, and every other prayer.  In Jesus' name,  Amen.

Friday, September 25, 2015

Patience as a virtue

God,

Thank You for answering my prayers.  I thank You that You give wisdom liberally.  I finally understand what it is like to be patient.  Now I ask You to be not only wise, but also patient.  Though I have grown more patient over the years, it has never been my strong suit.  Teach me Your will and Your ways, including how to build character.  Thank You for Your salvation and I ask for forgiveness of all of my sins.  Thank You.

In Jesus' name,


Amen

Thursday, September 24, 2015

Being wise

Heavenly Father,

I ask You for not just forgiveness, but also for wisdom, or rather more wisdom.  It is good that I have the knowledge, but I have no clue what I need to do with it.  That is what has been overwhelming me for years. I wish I could say that I have made a mountain out of a molehill, but my issues are real.  My issues are big. Also, my issue are quite serious.  I keep asking myself a lot of questions that I don't have a definite answer to.  I know for myself, the answer is to keep it simple.  However, I am not You, and I have heard over the years that You are greater than my problems.  I ask that You would solve the problems that I have been having when it comes to my health and life in general.  Specifically I need a plan for my life and my purpose for living.  So far, the only goal that I have is to live life, meet new people, be independent for at least a while from the internet, and also to be healthy.  I have been living and doing unhealthy things.  I need support. Doing things on my own have made things hard.  I know that I am a private person, but the truth is, no person is an island.  I want to be held accountable.  I want to have true friends, even if it is one.  I want to have those things and live that life.  However, what is Your standard and Your goal for me?  All I know to do is to call on You.  I believe that You will answer this prayer.

I thank You for not just answering my prayer, but for hearing me in the first place.

In Your name,

Amen

Wednesday, September 23, 2015

Wonderment and struggle

Jesus,

I ask for Your forgiveness for all of my sins.  I have spent so much time struggling that I admit that I don't take the time to take action.  Even if I do, it ends up overwhelming me.  That is the problem.  I need to take a break.  I could take a break from reality but I don't always live in reality.  I am not addicted to going online but I realize for a while that I have spent too much time online and not time living in the "real world".  I live and have lived in a "fantasy world" where I am rich, famous, and have "real life" problems.  The irony is obvious.  Reality is something that not even I can escape from in the fantasy world.

I have become not a godly person but a well-meaning "stick in the mud".  I need to get out more.  I live in a safe world and because of that, I have no real idea of how to live in the real world.  I feel saddened that there are things that I could do and I would like to do, but I don't know how to do so or just gave up on doing it.  Lord, I ask for guidance and wisdom.  I have all the knowledge in the world, but now I finally realize that I am an example of the more one learns the less one knows.  I feel for that reason, I am alone in the world lacking in wisdom.  I need guidance and that is why I ask for those things.  I have become isolated and I have become complacent, if not too complacent.  I feel it is that I like the privacy that comes with isolation but even that becomes depressing at times.

I have prayed about it often over the years.  I do need to get out more.  I do pray a lot about it in some form or fashion.  Is it true that God helps those who help themselves?  Nowhere in the Bible have I found that.  Maybe the helping themselves is about faith.  I guess because I have had struggles with a lack of faith and doubt that things have not improved.  Things have not changed.  I would love for things to change.  I wonder now if the reason why things have changed is because I have not changed.  For years I felt like the world has passed me by.  It has been over a decade since that has happened.

I think that maybe if it is biblical, I need to do more to help myself.  If that is the case, then I need to touch the hem of Your garment, Lord.  I feel like I have wasted my life, and that I haven't accomplished anything in the last ten years.  My only goal is to be independent.  I now wonder what was and is Your goal.  I have no clue what Your will for my life.  Why Lord, am I here?  If Judgement was tonight, then what would I have accomplished?  All I know is that I won't have to be judged in the Great White Throne.  Thank You for giving me the insight that I so needed to write this prayer or rather, "letter".

In Your name, Jesus, Amen.

Sunday, September 20, 2015

How I am doing today

Lord,

I feel great, except for the pain that I am suffering.  I feel like I am blowing up and gaining weight.  I don't know how true that is.  I am just bloated I think.  I just ate so maybe that is why.  I wake up with pain.  I don't know if it is weight gain, diabetes, or the "arthritis".  I admit that I have not taken charge of my health.  I would like to do that, but where do I begin?  I also ask for healing.  I need healing.  I really exercise can help as well.  Jesus, I ask this, and I thank You.

In Your name,


Amen

Saturday, September 19, 2015

Prayer about anxiety

Lord,

I realize that fear is about anxiety.  I have not been anxious in a while.  However, I am anxious and I don't know what else to do other than pray about it.  Give me the peace of mind I so need right now. I prayed about the source of my anxiety.  I am now concerned about what will happen to me.  It is as if something will end up darkening my doorstep.  I hate having this anxiety looming over me. However, I am telling You the truth.  Show me how to overcome it.  I leave it in Your hands, and I thank You for answering this prayer.

In Jesus' name,


Amen

Friday, September 18, 2015

Prayer of repentance

Father,

Forgive me of all of my sins, for I have sinned against You only.  I want to change because I need to change.  I am a sinner in need of forgiveness.  Have mercy on me, Lord.  I am not innocent.  I am guilty of a lot of things.  I feel less anxious today.  I am at a point where I believe I can breathe better. I thank You that You have saved me and made me one of Yours.  Thank You for Your forgiveness this day.  I am writing to repent of my sins because I want to be a new creation in Jesus Christ.

In His name,


Amen

Thursday, September 17, 2015

A lesson in unwavering faith

Lord,

Help me to forgive and not to lose hope in this world.  Remind me that there is always hope with You.  This world is temporary and I need help in realizing that You are watching over us in this temporary world.  Eternal means forever.  It is amazing that Your love, grace, and mercy are available to those here now, but will also remain forever.  Thank You for removing all doubt and unbelief.  I am sorry that I ever doubted You.  You gave me a word about the fact that Your Word is true and that I have no reason to doubt You in the first place.  You have also helped me with my unbelief.  Forgive me for all of my sins.

In Jesus' name,


Amen

Wednesday, September 16, 2015

Lord, Help Me

Lord Jesus,

I am sorry for this, but You want for all of us to be honest.  Help me with my unbelief.  I doubt that my prayers will be answered for that doubt alone.  I wish I wasn't so doubtful.  I know and take responsibility for my actions as I am admittedly someone who is in need of help.  Forgive me and I ask also for an increase in my faith.

Sincerely,


Letters to God

Tuesday, September 15, 2015

Thank You, O Lord.

Father,

Maybe being nervous is a good thing.  I have confidence that You have listened to me.  Thank You for listening to me.  Thank You for answering my prayers.  You have heard my cry.  I receive this gift and all that You have given me.  Again, I thank You.

Sincerely,


Letters to God

Monday, September 14, 2015

I have some questions.

Jesus,

In Your name,

Thank You for saving me.  You have loved me since creation.  It took me a while to learn that You took part in creation.  After all, You and the Father are One.  You have given me the assurance of my salvation.  I wonder why You think I am so beautiful.  I am afraid of posting pictures up online.  Why do I do this to myself?  I don't think they are degrading.  No way.  I just feel like revealing too much of myself.  I just realize that I have a negative sense of who I am.  I feel like that others see me as a person who is hideous.  I have issues and they have all have an effect on me.  I don't want to wish anymore.  That is the problem.  I wish too much and don't do enough.  There is a song out that says that You love my flaws and that I am beautiful because of them.  I don't understand that verse.  Help me to  understand.  I ask You in this case for wisdom, for I lack it.  I don't know how I look outside of a reflection, and I always thought that it is scary.  How come we cannot see ourselves without a mirror or a selfie?  I feel that You have a purpose for doing so and I didn't mean to question You, but that question has driven me "crazy" from time to time.  I may be the OCD or the bipolar, but whatever it is, it can be annoying.  I know that there are more important things in the world that I need to consider, but those are questions that keep popping up from time to time.  Father, I ask that You would tell me why.  I ask for an answer since You are the only One who can do so.  I lift up my hands and I give You thanks.  I praise You, Lord.  Thank You.

Sunday, September 13, 2015

Healing what ails me

Lord,

Am I truly saved?  Am or have I been saved though faith?  I often lack faith at times and now I have no idea.  This scares me the most because eternity depends on whether one is truly saved or not.  I have had some fears today.  I want to have nothing to do with what ails me.  Too bad for me, fear and anxiety are what ails me.  I ask for healing and to overcome those fears that I have.  I thank You for healing me and strengthening me.

In Your name,


Amen

Saturday, September 12, 2015

I need wisdom

Lord,

Teach me Your ways.  Sometimes my prayers get jumbled or I stumble my words.  I am a person who is in constant need of help.  However, the style of prayer matter less than the heart of the person who is saying the prayer.  I ask for the wisdom to live as Your Word says.  I ask for guidance to be obedience.  Help me listen.  I talk a lot but I have only a small clue with how to listen.  I ask for the leading of the Holy Spirit in this matter.  I, Lord, give You thanks.

In Jesus' name,


Amen

Friday, September 11, 2015

Being wise and compassionate

Lord,

I think that I need to think about law school.  It is something that has been on my mind.  I now wonder if I were to have a good reason to go to law school.  I have limited skills, another degree, and a spotty job history.  I haven't had a steady job in years and I want to improve that.  I have options but I don't know where to go or who exactly to see.  I have no real transportation of my own and that is also a limit that I have.  I need help with opening those doors, and wisdom to carry out what I need to do.

Father, I ask for forgiveness of my sins.  I saw a man lifting up a small homeless sign this morning and I only saw that word, "homeless".  I realize that it was a way to avoid to be obligated to help a man who I did not know.  The guilt did not fall away.  In fact, it should not.  It is so sad that I did that and I regret it.  I can be judgmental and selfish, and today and other days, have taught me that.  Lord, I want to change that, but I don't know how.  Forgive me for this sin and have mercy upon me, Lord.
I am sorry that I have done this or better yet, have not.  I did not show the kind of compassion a Christian is supposed to show and I know that I can be forgiven, but I also ask for mercy.  I feel really bad for what I have done.  I am supposed to be kind and charitable.  My actions say otherwise.

Thank you, Lord, for answering this prayer.

In Jesus' name,


Amen

Thursday, September 10, 2015

Depression and law school

Lord,

Lift the depression off of me.  I cannot make a mistake or just correct my mistakes.  I feel trapped.  I hate it.  I have been treated like a child by people who I have thoughts about them not liking me.  I just feel like moving out, but I have no money and not enough credit.  I would like to do things that I have given up on.  Going to law school is one of those things.  I want to stay on the path of going to law school.  My goal is to study and take the LSAT.  However, I cannot take it because I have no money.  My desire is to go and money is holding me back.  I need a stipend, a scholarship, and a grant.  I think that law school is expensive, but a loan won't cut it, unless it is from a private source.
I have no idea what I need to do.  All I want to do is to go to law school.  I am a desperate person and my hope is that I have prayed according to Your will.  Give me the wisdom that I need to go to law school.  I am worried that things will never improve and that I will remain depressed.  Lord Jesus, help me.  I need to get out of this situation because the depression might worsen.  I just leave it in Your hands.

Thank You,

Amen

Wednesday, September 9, 2015

Taking charge of my health

Lord,

Help me to take charge of my health. I have had difficulty with doing such.  I am a binge eater and I know that I need help.  The problem is, well the real problem is, I expect others to help me while I have great difficulty doing it myself.  It has been a mere struggle.  It is a lot of pressure because I wish to lose weight and keep it off.  My worst fears have come true.  My goals are to exercise, eat healthy, and keep the weight off.  That has been a goal for a while now, but I wasn't sure what I should do and what my exact goals are.  I ask that You would guide me and take away my anxiety, especially when it comes to this issue.  I appreciate and give You thanks for the issue that You have given me.  I ask for wisdom for I have knowledge that I wouldn't know what to do with.  Thank You for that wisdom, Lord.  Thank You for strengthening my faith and encouraging me.

In Jesus' name,

Amen

Monday, September 7, 2015

Law School

Lord,

Now I feel like I am reconsidering my option to go to law school.  I don't have the qualifications or the job history to go to law school.  Right now, I have no clue why I wanted to go.  I feel so discouraged.  I want to do more than get out of the house.  I have no clue what I want to be, though I am a grown up.  I thought that it would be a good idea but now I am not so sure.  Lord, give me the guidance that I so need.  I do want to go back to school.  Now I have no idea what I want to do.  I am discouraged also because I don't trust myself.  I ask for encouragement and guidance.  Now I also need a sense of direction in my life.  Your help will be greatly appreciated as it always have been.

Sincerely,


Letters to God

Sunday, September 6, 2015

I thank You, and I'm sorry..

Father,

I thank You for answering my prayers.  You have healed me and given me hope in this world.  Not only that, but You have also given me a sense of direction in my life.  Thank You.  I put my trust in You, something I should have done before.  I am sorry.  I apologize and I ask for Your forgiveness. Everything I said in my prayer was true.  Everything that I am writing in my prayer is also true. Thank You from the bottom of my heart.

In Jesus' name,


Amen

Saturday, September 5, 2015

My goals in life and what is needed to start over, so to speak.

Lord,

Thank You for the gift and love of music.  I recall being a flute player when I was a child.  I was decent, but since then, I never got to play it much again.  I wish that I could still play.  Nowadays, there isn't much I can do.  I can barely make a mistake.  I have nothing to do it seems.  My days are the same, like groundhog day sort of speak.

 I want to go back to graduate school to study law, business, or some other major.  I know that I have much to offer.  I am not so sure what to do with myself, but I know that at my age, there is so much I want to do.  I know that it won't be easy, but I know I can do it.  I have had jobs, but limited experience, I admit.  I want to expand and have a career.  I tried to be a teacher, a chef, and a business, but I have either failed or given up.  The real issue is I don't have the money or a way to go.  I don't know where to go or what to do.  I want to do more than just clean house and stay isolated all day.  I want to network, go to church and fellowship with other believers, and lots of other things.  I haven't worked on or have done these things within the last ten years or so.

Because of You, I have learned to deal with anxiety.  I know that I have a limited income and a skill set that needs updating, but I know that I can do well given the chance.  I realize that I haven't laid much groundwork, but I will do that.  I am a person who still doesn't know exactly what she wants to be when she grows up.  I feel like at my age, I am still young, but I have felt like for years the world has passed me by since I have not gone to school.  I want and ask for, doors to be opened to me.  I believe that whenever I prayed this afternoon, You have listened.  I ask for advice and guidance as well.  I know that I need a resume and marketable skills.  There is a lot that I don't know, and I realize that I need a plan.  Lord, what should I do?  I ask for wisdom also in this matter, and I thank You for Your wisdom, guidance, and continued since of direction in my life. Thank You and continue to give You thanks and praise for answering my prayer or rather, prayers.

In Jesus' name, I pray, Amen.

Friday, September 4, 2015

Having doubts and little faith

Lord Jesus,

I am having doubts that even though You and the Father are one, that You are my Lord and Savior.  I have been having these doubts for years.  As a matter of fact, I have doubts about a few things.  I need to know about strengthening my faith.  I ask for forgiveness, for I have little faith.  I also lack wisdom.  I thank You that You give wisdom liberally and I ask for it as well.  I realize that I am struggling, but I have a hard time seeing that You are greater than.  I also need to realize that with You, all things are possible.  Lord, I also ask that You will help me to focus on what I have instead of what I don't have.  Help me to seek first Your kingdom and Your righteousness and to not be anxious, worried, or afraid.

In Your name, Jesus,


Amen

Thursday, September 3, 2015

Battles of my mind

Lord Jesus,

Your word says to be carnally minded is death.  I am not sure if that it is what I have been.  I realize that I will have to work extra hard to not be anxious and to be ever mindful of my actions.  To top it off, sometimes being aware of my settings is not easy either.  Lord, show me the difference between all of this and being carnally minded.  Sometimes I have been led by my anxieties and fears.  Other times, I know that You are speaking to me.  I want to know that difference.  Guide me into walking Your way free from all distractions.  My mind is in great need of calming down.  I realize that I can differentiate between reality and what is not real.  It is has been however, difficult to distinguish truth from falsehood, and fact or fiction.  That is what has been going on in my mind.  Is this a medical or a spiritual issue?  Regardless, I must fight for my sanity and most of all my soul?  Help me to use those tools that You have given me.  I sometimes feel weak and powerless and I have no clue.  Lord Jesus, help me.

In Your name,  Amen.

Tuesday, September 1, 2015

Motivations and having OCD

Lord Jesus,

I ask that You will help me to be a salt and light to the world.  I know that I cannot save, only You can.  You died on the cross for us all.  Thank You.  I ask for guidance in this manner.  I would like to know how to be a witness to others.  As a matter of fact, I am not sure what I need to do.  One time, I even wanted to be a missionary.  Like everything else, it didn't pan out.  Maybe I wasn't cut to be a missionary.  Maybe my reasoning was genuine.  Whatever my goals, I want to do things for the right motives.  I want to serve You, Jesus, all the days of my life.  I don't trust myself at all because I don't want trust my motives.  I am sorry for not praying to You earlier.  I wish I had.  I realize that I should have prayed about any impure motives that I have.  Forgive me for all of my sins, including motives that were not genuine.  I want to be a genuine person, a genuine Christian, and a genuine child of Yours.  I put all of my trust and confidence in You.

I feel like the stress of living in this world is stressing me out, if that made any sense to me.  Stress is something that I cannot live with at times. One thing that is causing me stress is uncertainty.  I have OCD, as You obviously know.  I wish that I didn't have this problem.  This problem has made me question my motives.  It also makes me question quite a few things.  I have been having doubts that I am saved.  It is as if I have to say the right words to be saved.  I need assurance from You.  There are times when I don't even know who I am as a believer.  It is hard at times.  It can be and it is scary.  You are the God of Truth.  I thank You that You and the Father are one.  Who am I?  If I were to die tomorrow, where will I end up?  I sometimes worry about dying because of this, when things are severe.  I think of the end times, especially during the moments when I become aware.  Awareness, and You of course, have been wonderful for me.  I ask You for help and healing in all things.

I give You thanks.

In Your name, Jesus, Amen.