Sunday, October 25, 2015

Honoring the Lord

Lord,

Help me to see and to understand that not everyone who calls on Your name is really a Christian. My prayer is that I am and will not end up being this way now or in the future.  Life is quite short and sometimes I don't realize that.  I often don't see the consequences of my actions as far as eternity. I have been so wrapped up in what is going on how to entertain myself and other things, I don't always take the time to be with You.  I apologize and I desire to change.  Help me not just to change my mindset but to renew my mind.  I don't want to honor You with my lips instead of just honoring You, but I am or have been with this.  I wonder if this is what I have been doing.  Forgive me for all of my sins.  I thank You in advanced for answering my prayer.

In Jesus' name,


Amen

Friday, October 23, 2015

So much to be thankful for

Lord,

I need to be reminded to do the things that I am supposed to do like exercise and dieting.  Today has been a day of revelations.  I thank You for those revelations that I had.  I am okay right now.  I am glad that despite whatever flaws I have, You see me as beautiful.  I wasn't sure about what Kierra Sheard's song was about until it was explained to me.  It now makes sense.  Everything seems to make sense.  I felt really guilty about things.  I guess in life one has to make small changes.  What is little is actually big.  Help me to keep that in mind.  I have much to be grateful for.  Thank You, Lord, that I get bored all day.  I am on a computer that I really depend on.  I thank You that I have people, including my mother, who care about me and who love me.  I feel that I have much to offer in this world.  I guess that is the reason I am on this planet.  My prayers have been answered and I thank You for those prayers being answered.  It finally dawned on me that the answers were really to work on myself by loving and respecting myself.  I would like to know it took so long for me to discover that fact.  The answers were right under my nose.  I have to admit that things will be harder because I have made them harder.  I will keep on going and I will keep on learning.  I have learned so much about myself in these past 24 hours, and for that, I am ever grateful to You.

In Jesus' name,


Amen

Thursday, October 22, 2015

Diabetic self-care

Dear Heavenly Father,

Thank You for answering my prayers.  I know I wrote a long prayer pouring my heart out.  It was honest and heartfelt.  I want to make changes when it comes to my health. Minutes ago, I was scared. I realize that I have a lot to be concerned about.  I realize that unhealthy eating does contribute to my fear.  I am a diabetic and my feet were burning.  Help me let that sink in.  I don't want to wait until things get worse for it to sink in.  It is hard for me to get it at times and that is what is bothering me. I need help in this matter.  I also ask for wisdom and guidance in this matter as well.  I don't want to have anything worse happen to me than what has happened tonight.  Right now, I am concerned about my eyes.  I am near-sighted and I don't want to suffer from glaucoma or blindness.  I am afraid that my health will be in decline if I don't eat better and exercise.  I am worried sometimes that things would worsen.  I need You; show me what more I need to do other than healthy eating, exercise, and taking pills all day.  It would be nice if I don't have to take so much medication.  I sometimes feel like I am hitting a brick wall.   I brought this on myself, so I know that I can do it as You show me how.

In Jesus' name,


Amen

Wednesday, October 21, 2015

Weight, holiness, and self image

Lord,

Even so, come, Lord Jesus.  I live in a sinful, dying world that does not care about me, much less anyone else.  Help me to keep that in mind daily.  I get fearful and anxious when I try to put my mind into something, such as living holy and losing weight.  Regardless,  I realize that I need to not stress out so much on my weight.  I do have an issue with body image and I do focus more on my appearance than on being healthy and living a healthy lifestyle.  I now know what living a healthy lifestyle entails.  I am scared.  I lose losing weight is a big undertaking as I want to lose exactly 125 pounds.  I sometimes feel guilty about allowing myself to become a 300+ pound woman.  I have become more self-conscious than ever.  How do I recognize what You and Your word says with my weight struggles and being self-conscious about my body?  I am not ashamed to be fat, but I would like to know about living a healthy lifestyle due to having PCOS.  I do not wish or want to use PCOS as an excuse, but it is a condition that I have.  I am relieved that I was diagnosed as such.  I can do something about it, and now I know where to begin.  I have made so many mistakes with my weight that I became anxious and frustrated.  I would like to change that even if it takes a long time.

However, I am careful of what I say, think, or write because of my fear and anxiety.  Maybe I have approached things all wrong.  I jump into something only to falter or give up.  I don't want to live this way anymore.  I don't want to live.  I am anxious and frustrated because my weight goes up and down.  Part of this is because I give up on myself and I am lazy and just don't care.  I rather eat chocolate bars than eat an orange or broccoli sometimes.  In other words, healthy foods tend to at times be an acquired taste.  I am still anxious and scared as I write this and I have no idea how to overcome fear and anxiety.  I just want to change all of this because it seems that I am at the end of my rope.  I love the taste of food because it represents fun, party, and I enjoy the taste of food.  I realize that unhealthy food doesn't love me back anymore.  My desire and need is to see food in a healthy way.  Lord, I know Your word says that "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me"  Tonight, I ask for help and wisdom so that I can overcome my fear and anxiety.  I leave them in Your hands.  I need strength and help in this time because I want to be set free from them.  Help me to see my situation as You and Your Word see it.  I have prayed for years and years about this and I just no longer know how to overcome all of these things so that I can be healthy and reach my goals.

I have PCOS which may have been a cause of my having to deal with diabetes, high blood pressure, AND high cholesterol.  Right now, I am doing better and I think I am doing a better job of managing my diabetes.  My other real problem is that the consequences of unhealthy eating habits, poor body image, and a lack of exercise is that I have a hard time allowing things to sink in.  I don't really want to wait another few years in order to finally "get it".  That is what is going on.  I admit that I want for things to sink in immediately so that I can lose the weight and keep it off.  I want to have a better self image so that I want to be less self-conscious.  I often feel like I am too dumb to know what I am doing despite the fact that I have been given good advice.  The truth is, I have no idea how to follow even the simplest advice.  Sadly, I tend to make what is easy hard.  It was like this in college and it is like this now.  I have been advised to keep it simple.  That to me seems so easy, but it is hard.  I realize that I need a change of mindset so that it will finally sink in.  Help me and remind me to take better care of and have more respect for myself.

I don't want to diet and exercise, but I want to live a healthy lifestyle.  I am inspired to exercise and keep moving forward.  I don't feel so great about not exercising because of the motivation that I have to walk or do other exercises.  I wish that exercise doesn't have to be a chore.  Instead I want to know how to see exercise as not a chore.  Mentally I know the benefits of exercise but I admit to not taking the time to actually do it.  I just wish I could keep it simple.  I can not stay away from exercise and eating a large quantity of food and call it living a healthy lifestyle.  Help me to see, Father, that I am worth it, and have always been.  Help me to see that I sometimes have an unhealthy view of my body and of what is beautiful.  You see me as beautiful no matter if I see mostly "flaws".  Remind me. Father, that I can overcome any and everything if I leave things in Your hands.  I ask for forgiveness of my sins.  Make me a new creation in Jesus Christ and I ask You to further strengthen my faith and to remove all of those things that are stumbling blocks.  I wish change could be easy.  I wish I could ask You to make things easier, but is that something that You can answer?  Help me to allow advice to sink in.  I ask for a renewal of my mindset.

Thank You for answering my prayers and I ask for peace of mind.

In Jesus' name,   Amen.

Tuesday, October 20, 2015

Wanting God to know me

Lord,

One day You will either say, "Enter into the Joy" or "I never knew You".  I want to obviously live my life so that I will end up with You saying, "Enter into the Joy.."  Sadly very few will make it.  Very people will end up entering into the joy of the Lord.  The truth is, my hope is to be one of those people.  I realize that I have not lived as if I have a future with You lately.  I ask for forgiveness of those sins.  I feel as though I have honored You with my lips, but nothing else.  Help me to check and see if I am truly of the faith.  I ask for guidance and forgiveness.  I have forgiven and let go.  You have forgiven me and loved me so.  I shall follow Your example and do the same thing.  My petition is that I am set free in the world and I will receive wisdom so that I can live for You and serve soon I thank You for hearing my petition and for Your forgiveness.

In Jesus' name,


Amen

Monday, October 19, 2015

I feel like a failure at times

Lord,

Sadly I have given You such little time.  I could have at least said "Thank You" but I have not done any of those things.  I have wondered why things are crazy at times.  I have made some poor choices lately and I don't know how to overcome those sins.  I am sorry that I have ever committed those sins. I have struggled with those sins for a long time.  I need and want to be a fully changed person, but I have no idea what to do or say.  I keep on falling.  I believe that You pick me up at times.  Why do I have doubts?  Why do I keep on falling?  I feel like I have failed the both of us.  I am also sorry for my failures.  I have literally sinned against You maybe even willfully.  That is wonder why I have doubts about being saved.  It could also be the OCD.  I also admit that I take You and being forgiven for granted.  I ask for change.  I ask for a change in motivation and drive.  I have stopped doing things I have done.  I ask for a miracle.  I want to know who I am and to live as if I am in Christ Jesus.  I am sorry that I have taken You for granted.  I know that You love me, but why?  I don't just slip up.  I mess up.  I want to be a different person, one who makes sound decisions.  I feel like a failure as a Christian.  Nothing seems to work out for me and I want to change that, but I don't know how.  I need help, Lord.  I need You right now, Lord.  I call on You for help and for guidance.

In Jesus' name,


Amen

Sunday, October 18, 2015

I need You

Father,

Forgive me. I am falling and failing.  I need Your help in that area.  I am doing things that I have no business doing what I have done.  Help me to repent of my sins.  I am struggling in those areas and for one, I have no excuse for what I did.  Forgive me and help me to overcome my wrongs.

In Your name,


Amen

Saturday, October 17, 2015

Forgiveness

Lord Jesus,

Forgive me for whenever I say and think things I ought not to.  Thank You for Your love and forgiveness.  Help me to understand forgiveness and how to forgive.  It is sad that there are people who won't forgive.  There are people who have done or had some horrible things done to them who have forgiven.  I realize that my views can at times be a bit short-sighted.  You called on us to forgive for we have been forgiven by You.  My hope is that I have not taken advantage of Your forgiveness. Thank You for saving me and dying on the cross for me.  You are the God of love and forgiveness.
Thank You.

In Jesus' name,


Amen

Friday, October 16, 2015

Lamar Odom's condition

Lord,

Thank You.  Lamar Odom is getting out of his coma as it seems slowly.  At least his eyes are opening, which is a good sign.  Thank You.

In Jesus' name,

Amen

Thursday, October 15, 2015

Lamar Odom

Lord,

I am saddened by what is going on with Lamar Odom.  This is a sad story that I hope won't turn into a tragedy.  I pray that he will recover fully and that he will be drug-free.  I am one of those well wishers and I hope that he will recover.  Lord, may You do a mighty work in this young man's life.

In Your name, Jesus,

Amen



Wednesday, October 14, 2015

Being dependent on the Lord

Lord,

I am happy that I am writing to You.  I ask that You would draw me closer to You.  I cannot make it as a Christian without You.  I am sorry to have realized how shallow my faith seems to be.  I am glad that I am okay.  I have learned a valuable lesson.  Reading a book, particularly Your word, is really beneficial in more ways than one.  Doing what is necessary is doing what is good for me.  It also took yesterday to realize that too.  I am tired right now but the one thing is, I am alive and truly okay.  I thank You for everything and I ask You to forgive me of all of my sins.  Help me to differentiate between what is real and what is not and also, help me to differentiate what to really pray about and what not to put as my first priority.  I realize that prioritizing my life is something that I should have done earlier.  For now on, I am finally at peace.  Thank You for everything.

Sincerely,


Letters to God

Thursday, October 8, 2015

The right words

Lord Jesus,

Help me.  I need Your help.  Help me to pray.  Help me to find the right words.

Sincerely,


Letters to God

Wednesday, October 7, 2015

Thanks and praise

Lord,

What are the goals that You have for me?  I also ask that You would increase my faith.  I realize that my faith hasn't been strong, and I am sorry for this, but my faith has gotten stronger right now.  You know all of my deeds and all of my needs.  I thank You for saving me and for forgiving me.  You have listened to me and You have heard my prayers.  I believe that with all of my heart.  I give You my thanks and my praise.

In Jesus' name,


Amen

Tuesday, October 6, 2015

I confess that I am dishonest.

Lord,

I am a liar.  I am so sorry for lying.  I hope that I have never tried You or ever lied to You.  I wonder if I have reaped what I have sewn.  I realize that I am also a coward.  I am afraid that something bad will happen to me.  That is the problem.  I am always afraid.  How do I overcome fear and lying? I know that liars will one day have their part in the Lake of Fire.  I ask for forgiveness for lying.  I want to live holy as You are holy.  I feel bad about lying period.  I have told You that I have lied this morning.  I have told a lie about my health, but I am fine.  I come to You.  I come to the cross. Cleanse me from my sin.  Forgive me, O Lord, for all of my sins.  I confess my lying to You and I repent of all of my sins including.  Help me to overcome the sins that I have struggled with.  Help me, Lord.   I thank You for hearing me and for all else that You have done for me.  Thank You.

In Jesus' name,


Amen

Monday, October 5, 2015

How my day was

Father,

I thank You that today was a good day.  I have felt better today than I have in a long time.  I know that taking action is the order of the day.  Complaining is not the answer, not even in prayer.  I finally realize that just giving it all to You is what is the answer is.  Thank You.  You are worthy of praise and thanks.


Sincerely,


Letters to God

Sunday, October 4, 2015

Thankfully Yours

Heavenly Father,

I thank You.  You have answered my prayers.  Today was a decent day because I realize that I can take action and that You do love me.  I can learn to respect and love myself.  It took long enough but it is not too late.  I was concerned about that.  I realize that all I had to do is to take action, even if it is the simplest action.  Thank You.  Thank You.  I give You the highest praise for You are worthy and deserving.  All I had to do was to tell You what was hard for me to tell You.  I like certain things about my life but not all of it.  The problem was me and only me.  I spend so much time on the computer that I have neglected other things and slowed down on accomplishing tasks.  My internet usage is not healthy and I don't know what to do about it since I have place my whole life on the computer.  I am not sure or not if I am addicted to the internet but I find it to be a safe place in the midst of troubling obsessive thoughts.  They were a shield.  They were a way to keep me busy when there was so much else to do around here and elsewhere.  I am no longer overwhelmed and I give You all praise.  I am so sorry for my lack of faith and I thank You for forgiving me of all of my sins.

In Jesus' name,


Amen

Saturday, October 3, 2015

Order my steps

Lord,

I ask that You would order my steps.  Today is a day of where do I begin.  I have been lazy today.  I am tired of my life.  Lord, just help me.  I wish all of this was over.  Help me.

Sincerely,



Letters to God

Thursday, October 1, 2015

In need of peace

Lord,

I cannot take the anxieties anymore.  I cannot take the obsessive thoughts and the fears anymore. What is wrong with me?  Why do I allow these things to happen?  I have urges that I don't want.  I often feel alone because I don't know anyone in my immediate family who has these issues.  It was like that when I was first diagnosed.  It was quite difficult for me.  My prayer to You is that I don't have these same issues for the rest of my days and that I don't have to react to them.  I have such great insight into these thoughts so why do I still have them?  I also have these images in my mind that just won't go away.  They are often scary sometimes.  Maybe I should leave some books and the fiction alone.  My life has gotten shorter and my world has gotten smaller.  I hate having the avoidance issue and I don't know how to deal with it.  Forgive me of my sins.  Draw me back to You. Help me to grow and to focus on You.  Help me to see that there are bigger issues and more important things than what seems to be important in the moment.  Lord, give me peace of mind and give me spiritual rest for I am overwhelmed.  Thank You for Your peace and Your focus and Your rest.

Sincerely,


Letters to God