Dear Jesus,
Give me the faith that I so desperately need. In this life, all of us will have to give account in the next world. Your word says that not everyone who says "Lord, Lord" shall enter the Kingdom of God. I don't want one of these people and that scares me. I wonder if that is why prayers don't get answered, that because I have doubts about being truly saved. Am I truly saved or am I lost? Is it the obsessive compulsive disorder? The obsessive thoughts about being saved does add up when I do wrong or when I read something that I have no business reading. I realize that that every thing that what I watch on television is about being obsessed. If it doesn't bother me, then I will watch. I avoid things not because I love and honor You. I avoid and ask for Your salvation because I am scared of another trigger. I ask that You will purify my motives and purify my heart. My desire is to be holy and live a righteous life. That is my desire. I don't trust myself. I wish to put my trust in You and die to myself daily. Most of all, I want to be saved because of my love for You and for my faith. There are times when my faith is not strong and I doubt Your answer to my prayers and this is one of those times. I pray out of fear of going to Hell not because the Holy Spirit has convicted me of my sins. I am a sinner and I pray for Your mercy. I am in need of guidance but I don't trust myself to be saved and born again. I don't like myself for that. I ask for pure motives and to love You with a pure heart but even that is out of fear. I just don't trust myself when it comes to anything. I need help to learn about repentance because I don't believe I have truly repented. I know that we all including myself are in need of You. Help me, dear Lord.
In Jesus' name,
Amen
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