Sunday, December 22, 2013

I am doing so much better

Dear God,

Thank You.  I feel better than I did this morning.  I am glad that things went well today.  I feel like I have been addicted to MR.  I was obsessed.  I had to do well.  I was afraid of anything triggering another thought. I know that the thoughts are not supposed to hurt me.  However, I am afraid of them hurting me.  I get nervous and anxious and scared at the very same time something triggers a thought.  I have had thoughts this morning about MR. I didn't know what else to do but to ruminate over them.  Show me how to not be anxious, yet embrace the fact that I have thoughts.  I guess thoughts will always arrive.  I am here to write that I have drawn closer to You.  Help me to live a holy and righteous life.

Thank You also for taking away my thoughts.  It was quite lonely and flat.  It was dreadful and I hope to never doubt You again.  Forgive me, Father.  I am happier now.  Help me to be patient and kind.  Help me live a holy and righteous life that I so need.  Help me to make the right choices because of my love and reverence for You and Your commands. My thoughts and my fear of triggers have controlled my life and have made my world smaller.  I want to expand my world and experience new things.  I want to do wholesome things like gardening and writing again.  I want to watch wholesome shows and movies.  I just feel like the world is anything but a wholesome place and I look forward to Your return.  Even so, come Lord Jesus.  May Your grace be with us all.


Letters to God