Thursday, November 14, 2013

The weight of the world

Dear God,

I have noticed that the less I eat, the more stressful I am.  I do have an urge to eat much or rather more than I desire to eat.  For the time being, I am comfortable with eating a 1400 calorie diet.  It hasn't been much of a struggle so far.  In fact, food doesn't consume my every thought.  I guess it is because of my food intake.  I have been wiser in my food choices as a result.  I don't have any headaches or anything like that.  In fact I feel great.  I can breathe a little easier.

Mickey Rourke doesn't bother me...or at least the image and obsession.  I am learning to see things clearer now than I have even a couple of days ago.  I am opening my eyes to the fact that it is all an image, a mirage.  The image is crafted by handlers.  I wonder if he is a miserable, lonely, down-to-earth guy like he comes across or if he is not a nice person.  I don't go by gossip...okay, yes I did.  Forgive me, Father.  Mickey Rourke is not a nice person judging from gossip, but I don't know the guy and I go by the sayings of others.  The fact is, I will never know this man, and I mean, never.

I focus so much and sweat the small stuff I don't always see the big picture.  Yes, I know gossip is wrong, but I tend to be gullible when I hear or read things.  I am a curious person I guess.  Gullible is too strong a word.  I admit I am sheltered and naive about a lot of things, but I am not dumb.  Lord, I am sorry for all of the wrongs I have committed.  I put my total trust in You and acknowledge You in all my ways.  I ask that You would direct my paths and forgive me of my doubts and my lack of faith.
It was as if I was kidding myself.  I had to convince myself almost.  Thank You for giving me such great insight.

Today, You gave me the courage to write about this and not worry what the rest of the world would think.  I feel like a weight has lifted off of me.  I give You all of the praise.  Thank You.

Sincerely,

Letters to God