Sunday, October 6, 2013

More on Mickey Rourke

Dear God,

Yesterday I wrote about Mickey Rourke and his ex-wife Carre Otis.  My "feelings" toward her are not true feelings but what the obsession says I should feel.  It is wrong and for that, I apologize to You and to myself.

I also wrote about Mickey and I wonder if it is time for me to tell someone else, like my mother.  I just want to know how to go about doing so.  I have an obsession with Mickey Rourke that just won't go away, even in my dreams.

I have tried to let it go, but to no avail.  Help me in this matter, Lord.  I feel like a failure for not working hard enough or for not resisting temptation enough.  I am confused in my feelings about him.  One minute I hate having this obsession.  And the next minute, I just love it because it takes time away from any other obsessive thought that I may have.

I am just a wreck.  Does my obsession with Mickey Rourke take time away from You?  Is it idolatry if I am obsessed?  I no longer have a crush on Mickey Rourke, but it is an obsession.  I feel like I am going crazy and my obsession is taking me places where I don't want to go.

I feel like I want to be friends with him.  I am even obsessed with one of his other friends and co-stars, especially from the Expendables.  It has become one of my favorite movies.  I just love that movie, but I believe that maybe I shouldn't watch it too much.  Mickey is just a gorgeous and sexy man to me, depending on what he is wearing or not wearing.  Oops.

How do I overcome this lust with Mickey Rourke?  I have a habit of being obsessed and stalking men I find attractive.  I wish I had a real relationship with someone I can call my own.  However, how do I strike up a conversation with someone when I have no place to go?  I feel lonely sometimes and I admit that I do need someone to talk to.

Forgive me for my sins.  I have been struggling with lust for quite some time now and I need help.  I have been in a struggle to stop, but I always give in.  I need Your strength to overcome temptation.  What should I do and how should I go about it?  I need Your help, obvious help for my obsession.  I have been obsessed with others for years and I am concerned that I will have another one I have a hard time controlling.  I wish that it was easy, but it is not.  Help me to be wise and stand strong in this.  Maybe I am approaching it all wrong.  However, I need guidance in my life.  I pray for guidance. 

Guide me with Your eye, Lord.  Help me to see Mickey as You see him.  Mickey is not You at all and I hope that I don't see him as such.  However, I do have lustful thoughts about him and I would like to know what it would be like to sleep with someone.  I am a virgin after all.  How do I begin a new chapter in my life?  I want to be healthier, happier, and whole.  Lord, guide me in that direction.  Thy will be done.

Sincerely,

Letters to God

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