I find myself attracted to rape. I don't understand. It is rather a sick fantasy of mine to be raped by a man. I find gang rape disturbing, so why do I want to be raped? I don't want to be raped, nor do I understand why I have these thoughts. I also have images of being raped. It is because of what I watched on television and online. I am ashamed of myself. For that, I am sorry and I repent. Father, forgive me of all of my sins. Remind me that You are watching over me. You will judge us all, myself included. I realize that You not only love us, but give us wisdom and guidance. Give me the wisdom to be wise about what is happening to me. I cannot tell anyone but You. However, it is strange writing this online to You. I am just writing out these thoughts because it is true. Something is just wrong with me. Help me, Lord. Thank You for listening to me, watching over me, and for answering my prayer.
In Jesus' name,