Wednesday, July 15, 2015

I want to be respected.

Heavenly Father,

I wish I could say "no" sometimes.  My mother was right.  I am too much of a "yes" person.  No one respects a "yes" person.  I feel like I am being used and walked on.  I want to remove myself from all of that. I know that with You all things are possible, for if I were to do that all alone, even with counsel, it will not work.  Things will not change, much.  I have found myself anxious and down today because I am a "yes" person.  I care what others think and I want to do the right thing.  I felt incompetent today because of a "problem" it seems I could have solved.  I am afraid.  I am always afraid.  I can pray all I want, but I have always heard that You help those who help themselves, but is that biblical?  I really don't know.  I feel like there is a weight upon me and as a result I ate food that I know that I had no business eating.  I should have exercised today, but I did not.  I should have consumed healthy foods, but I had no desire to.  It is of no use to buy things and write out thoughts and not try to change.  I have tried that and I feel like I have failed.  It is as if my motivation to change or to exercise or to do what I planned to do has fallen by the wayside.  I have finally learned to look fear face to face, for the most part.  Why cannot I conquer this particular "yes" person fear?  I need guidance.  I have no idea what to do.  Help me to be the conqueror Your word says that I am. I don't say "no" enough, nor do I stand up for myself as if I have no value.  I know I have to no longer allow fear to take over.  I know I am not being made perfect in love.  I don't have that love or sound mind to conquer fear.  I am tormented by fear  I just want for things to change.  I want for me to change.  I have no idea how to change my situation.  Your help would be greatly appreciated.

In Jesus' name,