Monday, July 14, 2014

Spiritually in tune

Dear God,

Thank You for saving me and for giving me the assurance that I am one of Yours.  Yes, I will live for You and serve You all the days of my life.  I put all my trust in You for all things.  I have read through the Book of Judges 2-4 and I ask You to apply those chapters to my life.

It is hard to ask You to apply those words to my life when I know hardly anything because I failed to read it. How do I keep reading Your word and keep being faithful to You?  I ask for the Holy Spirit's leading and guidance in this manner.

I have been in need of wisdom and guidance for a long time.  All I had to do was read Your word daily and study it.  It is simple as that.  Give me the motivation to read daily, to get my eyes in the word and to never let go.  I also ask for the renewal of my mind that I may be transformed.

I just want to be a Christian.  Ever since I was a child I felt like I had some connection to the spiritual realm. I often felt guilty about something though I didn't understand it.  I took it seriously though I didn't like gospel music.  I used to believe that one wasn't going to make it because they didn't listen to gospel music because other people told me so. At least that was how I interpreted it.

I guess I was legalistic in that sense.  I am easily influenced by what others say and I don't want that anymore.  I don't want to tossed to and fro by every wind of doctrine.  I am guilty of sin because I have a conscience.  However, I wonder if it is a good or bad thing to remain in that guilt.  I have had spiritual doubts and feelings of guilt for years.  I am not sure if it is always the OCD or if it is that guilt that has been there and the enemy has used it against me.

For years I have been told that I am not truly saved.  It does make me wonder if I am saved or not.  I have prayed over and over and over to receive Jesus as my Lord and Savior.  I guess it is okay that I don't put full confidence in myself.  That means to me that I have put and am still put full confidence in You.  I am doing so much better today.

I believe that I have allowed myself to be deceived at times.  I believe that I have always been spiritually in tune but now it has taken me to a point where I am secure in who I am.  You have given me that security and no matter what goes on, I will put all my confidence and trust in You.

In Jesus' name,