Dear Heavenly Father,
Help me to let the past go. You have saved me so that I have been given the opportunity to not only let the past go but to learn from it and grow. Thank You for that opportunity. Right now I am listening to "Let it go" by Idina Menzel. God, thank You for giving her the gift of song. It is a wonderful version of the song. I can relate to this song.
I have lived a rather interesting life. It is time I must be honest. I have not let go of the past. You have made me a new creation in Christ. It is time for me to act and be that new creation You have made. I am just glad that I am being perfected just as I am typing this.
I was bullied when I was a child and I have felt and sometimes still feel guilty about not fighting back or saying a word. I wish I could go back and stood up for myself and fight back. But now I just wonder and I have been having obsessive thoughts and exaggerated thoughts about them. I don't remember life being that bad even though I had my share of ups and downs.
I sometimes don't realize how exaggerated my thoughts truly are until my mind "calms" down. I realize that there is a one in a million chance that the thoughts are true. It has taken me a while to accept that I have Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, yet I do pray for healing. I still do pray for healing but I also realize that I have to reconcile my thoughts with what Your word says.
These thoughts have made me feel lousy about myself because I felt I was weak, but I thank You for empowering me. I didn't realize that the OCD could be a blessing in disguise. I do wonder if there is a coincidence between having these obsessive thoughts and my drawing closer to You. Is there a spiritual link? Help me to see that regardless of any connection, that I should be thankful and grateful that I have this condition because it has drawn me closer to You. I have learned a lot due to these obsessive thoughts.
It took long enough to realize that. I feel so much better. Thank You.
Sincerely,
Letters to God
No comments:
Post a Comment