Mickey Rourke is my obsession. I think that he has been abused as a child and that child abuse had made him damaged. I pray that he overcomes what has happened to him. I admire the fact that he has survived that and that he is a good actor who has a love for dogs. I however am more of a cat person. Anyways, my crush is more of a lust obsession and it just feels so wrong. I need to treat it like an obsessive thought. I just wish I could deal with an obsession and removing myself the way I removed myself from Darren Neal. I had the biggest crush on him, or so I thought. His feelings were not mutual since he has or had a girlfriend. I just felt like I will never find true love sometimes and that I will always have a crush on some guy who will never meet me or love me back. It is as if I am the one who is all wrong for the guy. I have had this problem for many years.
I am not married and needless to say, I am a virgin. I realize that that isn't something that I have been telling no one. I am a virgin who is almost 39 with no kids. How sad is that? Maybe it isn't so sad after all. I guess that is why I have all of these crushes until my adulthood. They are safer. Too bad the oobsessive thoughts are not. I am just unleashing because You will understand. As a matter of fact, You knew what I have been dealing with and what I am thinking at the moment. Forgive me for allowing my obsession with Mickey Rourke take over my prayer time with You. Maybe if I expose myself and Mickey Rourke to You, then I can let this obsession go. I thank You that it has gotten weaker. I would like to no longer feed those thoughts with facebook pages, twitter feeds, putting up pics, endless searches, watching videos, and anything else that feeds the obsession. I have taken steps to overcome the obsession but it seems as if I am more annoyed than bothered by this. Should I be more bothered than I am? Is is idolatry that I am committing? God, open my eyes and allow me to plead the blood of Jesus Christ over my obsession with Mickey Rourke. Open doors for me that no man can close. Take care of me and allow me to meditate and "obsess" about Something or Someone else. Help me to see that I don't have to spend my day obsessing over Mickey, his friends, or his ex-wife. I realize that I don't really know any of these people except by name and their work. I will never meet them as far as I know. But no manner of reasoning is going to solve those issues. How do I end this? Help me, Lord.
Letters to God