Dear Heavenly Father,
I am okay today thanks to You. I am so grateful because maybe I should not say this but I am in a grateful mood. Maybe being grateful isn't a mood. Grateful is a state of being. I have much to be grateful for and that is all because of You. Thank You. I am a very content person. I would like to extend that joy and contentment. I feel like I have accomplished something in my life but I would like to accomplish more. I am just at peace right now and I don't feel like carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders. I realize that we all have our own sins and our own problems that we each have to deal with. Monday there is an episode that I am drawn to, but I don't want to watch. The solution? I won't watch the show. It will produce a trigger or not, but I have a feeling that it won't be a big deal. I will just live life as normal but unfortunately normal can mean a lot of things as I soon found out. I believe that all will be well and so I will just let the thoughts pass and get it over with. Other than that, I am problem free. I will live as if it is just something that is nothing more than a mere challenge to overcome. I know I changed subjects just like that but I have to admit that it has been on my mind. I have given too much thought to these obsessive thoughts over the years which has caused me heartache and confusion. I guess in this case, the best thing to do is to practice avoidance but not because of fear but because I don't want to get caught up in other people's mess. It is as if I am tempted to watch, which is a sign not to watch. Lord, remind me of this Monday. What I watch on television is not as important as the quality of my soul or the content of my character. I can't turn myself off but I can turn off the television. I believe that there is so much to do here and elsewhere and that will occupy my time. I am sure there are things I want to do to occupy my time other than what to watch on television. What makes it so confusing is the voice that says to do it as a way to face my fears. But I would only be feeding the obsession and that is not good. I realize that this may be the key, talking it out or writing it out which is what I am doing right now. I realize that the answer is all in my head as well. Thank You for giving me a sound enough mind to come up with that answer. Thank You for this day.
Letters to God