Dear Heavenly Father,
Thank You. I sometimes wonder why I have these obsessive thoughts. Today however, I wonder if this cycle will ever end. I brought this on myself because I didn't shield my eyes from what I was watching online. It is said that curiosity killed the cat. I am alive but my curiosity got the best of me. I was watching disturbing footage of women being tortured and gang raped. I pray for rape victims in that they would not be alone and that they would be overcome with love and support. I don't wish to imagine being a rape victim. I am not sure I can bear it. I also pray for those rapists in that they would be forgiven by Jesus Christ and that they shall receive them. May the Holy Spirit convict them of their sins and may those who are rape victims get their justice and also closure. Rape is a abominable crime and no man, woman, or child deserves to be raped.
I also have reservations about my diet as it is poor. I guess I focus too much on it but I hope to lose weight and keep it off. However, my poor eating habits are hindering me from reaching my goals. I also at times overeat and eat mindlessly. I cannot just eat anything I want without consequences. I am a diabetic with PCOS who is approaching 40 and I am having health problems. Sure I feel like I brought my health on myself yet it could also be a genetic or hormonal thing as well. I don't like it when a fat person has to explain why they gain weight. A person gains weight for a number of reasons. It is not the healthiest thing to be, but it is not the worst thing to be. Character and spirituality are what counts, not how much one weighs. I live in a society in which people do discriminate, stereotype, mock, and judge fat people. What is wrong with the word fat?
The truth is, some people are fat. A fat person is not full figured, they are fat. Fat should not be an insult. It should be a descriptor and only a small part of who a person is. This isn't about politics. This is about a person being healthy. A person who is too fat or too skinny is at greater risk for health problems. This is true. It is up to the person who is too fat or too skinny to lose or gain weight, not other people, including the government. It isn't or should not be an issue of character or religious belief. A person who is skinny or "average" sized can be "unattractive", lack moral character, or be a glutton. It is one thing for a person to lose weight for their overall fitness and health. It is another thing to judge someone because of their weight and make assumptions. Why does fat shaming be considered okay in some circles including among Christians? Why is it anyone else's business why one is fat?
I am full-figured, or skinny, curvy, or plus-sized. I am fat, but that is only a part of who I am. I like to exercise, write, use the computer, pray, and listen to music. I need to lose weight because I am too fat. I am short and I am considered medically obese, so obesity is unhealthy. I have extra weight, but that doesn't make me less of a believer, less loving, less spiritual, or having low self-esteem. Should a fat person accept his or herself regardless of size? It is okay but I focus on health. I just think there is just too much fat shaming instead of focusing on health, fitness, and overall well-being. It isn't about special treatment. It is about being respectful of other people's right fat, curvy, obese, skinny, etc.
Lord, I wish that our world wouldn't be so cruel. I get my feelings hurt because of my weight. I feel like I am ostracized sometimes because I am fat. People can be cruel and judgmental. I live in such a society. I pray that our society would not treat a fat person as expecting special treatment but as a fellow human being with feelings, rights, and a human being who is intelligent, wise, and have moral character. Can a fat person be healthy and respect themselves as they are? In this society, many people would say no, but I guess it depends on the person, who is the one who makes the ultimate decision to lose weight. Obesity is a major health issue I agree.
I just don't like all of the fat shaming and judging. Having said all of that, I would like to lose weight and be healthy. That doesn't mean that I should be valued any less because I am fat. Fat should not be a curse word in our society. I don't want, need, or expect special treatment. No one should be mocked or be considered less than because of their size. I would like for that to happen to our society. This is supposed to be a society with many professing Christians, but what happened? I pray for our nation and our society in general that we in the Church would treat one another with decency and respect. Help us who are fat to lose weight but for ourselves and our own health. May we pray for one another brother or sister in Christ who is fat and wishes to lose weight. We have to make our own choices and we all have to remember that we will stand in front of You one day, fat or thin, and give an account of how we treat others, fat or thin. One doesn't to Hell because they are judgmental. They will end up taking their part in the Lake of Fire in the future because they are saved and have walked the narrow road or forever lost because they walked the broad road. That is all I have to say. Thank You for giving me the opportunity to express myself.
In Jesus' name,
Amen
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