Thursday, January 7, 2016

Telling the truth...


I ask that You would further convict me as I know You are there for me.  Thank You, for I am grateful for the peace of mind that I have.  I confess that I am a glutton and that I eat too much. I need to be held accountable for not only my eating habits, but also how I live my life.  Help me to keep my mind stayed on You, Lord.  I have been too comfortable and I am doing things that I have a hard time overcoming.  Lord, teach me Your ways and forgive me for all of my sins, including gluttony.  There are things that are difficult for me to do or to confess.  I can no longer take these things for granted for some of those things are embarrassing.  There are things that I have trouble doing that most other people take for granted.  They live life as if it is easier for them.  I don't know how they live, however.  I don't know their entire lives but they are thinner and by the looks of things, they seem to be less conscious about their size.  I may be wrong on this for maybe everyone has something they would like to change despite the fact that they may have shiny hair, a pretty face, or an enviable body.

I often don't see myself as beautiful physically because I am overweight.  Even if someone tells me about my looks and my personality, I have difficulty believing it.  I couldn't get a date for I was the overweight nerd who was made fun of.  That has been stuck to me.  I was never the girlfriend or the wife.  I have had crushes on other people and what has happened to me has been that is why. Father, I want to make changes not only in my life, but also in myself and how I see things.  I know that I am a sinner who is imperfect just like everyone else.  I want to see myself as a beautiful creation who is beautiful both inside and out.  Right now, I just don't have the confidence to see myself as beautiful, which has been a struggle.

I would like to know that I need to have a different relationship not only with food, but with the world at large, You, and myself.  I fail to continually have that relationship despite my prayer. Despite my prayer, I ask that You would produce a change in me.  I don't want to have this all-or-nothing mindset anymore.  I want and need to lose weight.  That has been my desire but I never saw weight loss in that way.  I have this goal and I am afraid that with the way I am currently eating, I will never reach this goal.  I am not sure that the route and the plan that I am going in is the one that You want for me.  If not, what do I need to do to go a different route and follow Your plan?  Cleanse me of my fear and my wrong relationship about food.  I would like to start over.  Without asking amiss, I thank You for listening to me.  Give me the faith that I so need to overcome all of the things that need to be overcome.  Also, I ask that You would make me even wiser when it comes to my health and I ask for guidance in how I life my entire life.  Give me a sense of direction.  Help me to see things as You have me to see them.  I give You thanks that You have allowed me to share and express my feelings through this petition.  Thank You.

In Jesus' name,