Tuesday, December 1, 2015

I am superior to negative thoughts and low actions.

Lord,

I ask that You would give me a fresh perspective on me.  Who am I as a person and who am I in Christ Jesus?  I don't know all about me as it seems.  Sadly, what I do know about me, physically, I don't like.  I don't like my body with its shorter, heavier body frame.  I see myself as fat and out of shape.  I wondered why I have allowed myself to get to be this fat and out of shape.  I don't like the way I look mostly in the mirror.  I also don't like the way I look in photos, including selfies.  Wow.
I don't just want to like myself.  I want to respect myself.  I need help in loving and respecting myself, no matter if I am over 300 lbs, or at 180-200 lbs. or at 120-130 lbs.  I need help in seeing myself and my life in a positive way.  In just need help with me.  My self worth is somewhat based on a number on a scale and on my measurements.  I sometimes have difficulty being kind to myself and positive thoughts about myself.  Change is hard for me, Lord.  I know it doesn't honor me. I cannot say that it honors You either.  I also ask that You would open my eyes and my ears so that I will gain wisdom from trustworthy council.  I ask that You would open my mind so that I can remember that You see me differently than I see myself.  I want to see myself as beautiful at over 300 lbs. with glasses and polycystic ovarian syndrome.  Confidence is supposed to be a beautiful thing, and I want to be confident.  I ask for forgiveness of my sins and I also ask for understanding that a challenge is an opportunity for change and success, not another opportunity to fail.  I want to be able to learn to do this and take the initiative.  No one else can do this for me.  It took me today and a long list of meds to see that.  I see and have seen that I need to take my health seriously and have a healthy relationship with You, food, myself, and with others.  I thank You that You answer prayer and I thank You that You are greater than all of these above issues.

In Jesus' name,


Amen

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