Wednesday, January 21, 2015

Thank the Lord for conviction


Thank You, Father, for Your conviction.  Right now, I feel really guilty about something I have said. Please forgive me.  That is all I can ask.  I am sorry for my attitude.  I want to be holy, think holy, and act holy.  Holiness I know is required of believers and I admit that I have not always been faithful to You.  I am very sorry.  Many of my thoughts and motives have been and are not pure.  I cannot say or believe that I am saved and keep on doing the same wrong things over and over without consequence.  I need not only Your help and forgiveness but also strength.  Give me the strength to overcome those sins so that I will live in true freedom and overcome those sins.  I make a promise to You that I will be a Christian who will live in the spirit and to die in the spirit.  I guess what I am trying to say is that I would like to live for You and serve You all the days of my life and take up my cross.  The Christian walk has not always been easy.  I have not been grateful for what I have and I feel so bad about not being grateful and seeing what I really see.  I have so much yet grateful for so little.  I would like to not only be grateful, but also gracious and kind.

I am a person who wants to increase the number of redeeming qualities that I have and the strength, holiness, and resolve to deal with the things of this world no matter how evil.  Show me and give me strength to overcome sins and to remind me of those who are less grateful and more in need.  I have said and done things that I am and feel guilty for.  I wish that I could change all of those things, but I cannot go back.  All I know to do is to move forward and live for the present and realize that everything I do now will have an effect on the future.  I believe that that is a message that You have Christians believe.  All that we do now has an effect on what will happen in the future.  There are only one of two places all of us will end up.  I would like to walk that narrow road that sadly only a few people will find. My desire is to walk that narrow road and to live as if I am walking the narrow road.

 I realize and I have been convicted of the fact that I have not lived and behaved like someone who has walked a narrow road. I want to walk with You and that I want to change and surrender all.  Help me to understand also my walk with You and what salvation really means.  I would like to be more honest with You.  I am truly sorry that I haven't always been.  I was afraid and in a way, I do have fears.  Help me to overcome my fears.  As someone who does love You, I still have problems that I fear will never be solved.  I have heard that every problem has a solution, but does it really?  I feel like giving up sometimes.  I have been overwhelmed over the years.  Things have changed, but I wonder if I have.  Sometimes I feel like a coward.  I would like to be a person who has a positive outlook on things.  I don't know how and I would like to affirm myself.  I want to know and take in the fact that I am loved by You.

I have been told many not so nice things over the years and those hurt for example.  I felt guilty about gaining weight and allowing it to happen.  I have a condition that no one else seems to believe that I have because of poor eating habits.  My self esteem is still low and I care what others think, way too much.  It is as others in this world control me.  Because of that, I wonder if I have spent my life living for the world and thus be an enemy of the world.  My hair was very dry and I have wondered what people were to have thought about my hair.  I saw myself in the mirror and I don't like what I see.  I need help in changing that.  I have thoughts that just won't go away.  I have so many plans and so much advice it is no wonder that I am overwhelmed.  I wish that despite being overwhelmed, I was more grateful of the good things that I have.  It is a sad thing, but I need help in all of these areas.  I overeat because of this.  I would like to change my diet because of my health.  There is so much for me to be overwhelmed by that I forgot to take the time to be thankful, and for that, I am sorry.  I truly humble myself and apologize.  I surrender all of this over to You because You would know what to do. Thank You for all that You have done and will do for the rest of my days.  I thank You for giving this opportunity to present my prayer over to You.  I give You praise for blessing me and I give You for answered prayer.  Thank You.

In Jesus' name,