Saturday, January 10, 2015

How I really feel about myself

Dear Heavenly Father in name of Jesus Christ,

I have had difficulty communicating with other people. I wish that I were more honest in that area. I finally revealed that to God. I have low self-esteem and self-conscious of my weight. I know that I have to make small changes and be consistent with those small changes. I know that I need support and I wonder if getting support online would be just as good as going to the meetings? I have joined Weight Watchers recently and I realize now that a lack of communication is a problem. I have been bullied, gossiped about, talked down to, talked about, and rejection for years and I have no idea how to let the past go and forgive myself. I have forgiven others but I have not forgiven myself for allowing these things to happen.

I care so much what others think and I believe that it is quite a hurdle in losing weight. I have been insulted about my weight and it seems as if my feelings don't count. I know that I need to lose weight and I wish I didn't have to be reminded of that daily. I look in the mirror and I didn't like what I saw. I see nothing but physical limitations. I have PCOS and that makes it worse. I don't like having this problem, plus I am diabetic with high blood pressure, and high cholesterol.

How do I press forward in my weight loss journey by looking at things that are more positive, such as speaking better of myself for example? How do become less self-conscious? How can I be consistent in my weight loss journey? How do I forgive myself and communicate better with others? How do I no longer care what others think? How do I no longer see myself as an overweight, lazy person who have a series of bad thoughts because of my weight? What is your advice on what I need to do? I have been seeing a counselor and take my medication for years; should I change counselors and get a therapist instead?

Thank You for answering this prayer.

Amen