Friday, January 9, 2015

Jesus, I have issues to deal with

Lord Jesus Christ,

I thank You for saving me and giving me the assurance of my salvation.  I thank You for redeeming me.

I ask You for a few things, however.  I realized that losing weight is hard.  I am not doing well.  I am many points over the limit.  I am now worried about the weight gain that I may have to deal with.  I am disappointed and now I am also frustrated.  I don't want to quit.  I want to press toward the mark, whatever that may be.

I now wonder if I am losing weight for the right reasons.  I should lose weight because I have no business taking my health for granted.  I am not sure if that is the reason why I want to lose weight. I ask You for wisdom, guidance, and a sense of direction.  Guide me into all things.  I have a confession to make.  Everytime I ask You for wisdom, guidance, and a sense of wisdom, it is I am stuck.  I am having doubts about those things and I realize that that is a problem.  Forgive me for having those doubts.

I can ask for certain things and not for others.  I have doubts sometimes and at other times I don't know what to say.  I am not as strong as I would like or should like.  I know it is a spiritual issue. I also believe that my weight loss journey is also a spiritual issue.  I have been frustrated lately.  Give me the strength to overcome these issues that I have.

I have tried to plan things in advanced only to mess up.  I don't know how to change those issues. I don't know to apply things to me and my situation.  The situation is to lose weight through diet and exercise.  I have given up in the past and I have decided to do something about it, but what?  Where do I begin?  What do I need to do?

I don't wish to grow tired.  But the truth is I have.  How do I change this mindset?  I am not sure if what I am doing is the right thing for me.  I have all of the desire in the world to lose weight but I am worried that I won't do it.  I am self-conscious about my appearance and a change in my life would do the trick.

I can't even do the things or say things that I wish to do because of being made of and because of anxious thoughts that I have.  This has added to having low self-esteem.  I have no idea how to communicate with others.  Meetings and a support system would be hard for me no matter how beneficial they are to me.  I am in need of counsel and a support system but it requires transportation and learning how to communicate with others.  Where do I begin?  I have been told that other church members would be a good start, but would it be a good start for me?

I am not happy with myself and life hasn't been kind to me.  I have dealt with anxiety, scary thoughts, mood swings, and other health issues to deal with.  I realize that being non-compliant would not take me anywhere.  Also, it was a wake up call, being a non-compliant person.  I have been that way because I have procrastinating for a long time.  How do I change from someone who may been considered non-compliant to someone who is actually compliant?  My weight has gone up and down. I have had the same issues that I have dealt with for years and starting over or rather breaking a habit has been hard for me.  It doesn't help that I am not sure what I need to do and that I see myself as a lazy person who needs guidance.  I just need help.  I need Your help.  I ask further that You would strengthen my faith.  Help me, Jesus.  I ask that You would make me whole and wise.  I am filled with knowledge, but how do I apply that knowledge?  Where do I go from here?

In Jesus' name,