Friday, June 20, 2014

Lonely feelings and nagging doubts

Dear Heavenly Father,

I felt alone and I feel like that I will never be set free from the infidelity.  I wonder if there is a way out.  Of course, there is You.  I don't know what to say or how to say it.  I feel like life is passing me by right now, or that is how it seems.

I know that I do complaints but my supplications are sad in nature.  I am thankful that You have given me this opportunity to pour out my complaints to You with thanksgiving.  What do You have me to do for You?  I want to have my prayers answered, but only in faith.

I want to lose weight and eat healthy,but I know that it would take a lot of diligence on my part.  I still have the same nagging doubts and lack of knowledge that I have had even in the recent past.  I lost almost 30 pounds and I blew it.  I would like to lose 100 lbs, which is my ultimate goal.  I am not sure about my highest weight so I have put it at or approximately this said number.

Having polycystic ovarian syndrome would make it even harder to lose weight.  Those nagging doubts have caused me to slip and slide and now it is effecting my health.  I have been, and still am, having doubts due to my weight and my age.  I know that it will be even harder to lose weight, so I guess strength exercises are required.  There is so much I need to do it seems.  All I know is that I don't wish to procrastinate anymore.

Even though I am sore, it felt good to actually exercise.  I would like to continue to do so.  I would like to purchase a pedometer and some more exercise equipment for myself.  I want to enjoy a healthy lifestyle and keep it off.  Also what is wrong with me is that I have unrealistic goals.  I set up these lofty goals that are too high for me to attain.  Meanwhile, I have made plans to fail due to the fact that I still have these doubts.

I ask for a renewal of my mindset as there are times when I wonder what would happen if I had lost all of the weight that I have gained in a long time.  How do I reconcile Your word with what I am going through now?  How can You help me to not only lose weight and keep it off, but not to focus on my outer man so much that I neglect other things?  Lord, I ask for wisdom in this situation.  Help me to face my fears and cast these cares over to You.  I no longer wish to say that without really applying it.  I ask therefore, for peace of mind.

In Jesus' name,


Amen