I feel like I have so many decisions to make. Why can't others be friends? How do I get over the fear? What is all wrong with me? I have been living in a cycle for many years and while much of them have gone away, the obsessive thoughts that remain annoy me and the compulsions I have difficulty controlling. My thoughts are similar but I fear that I will become like the OCD Persona. I will become what I don't like. The OCD Persona is either a busybody, judgmental, or anxiety-ridden. I have no idea how to break the cycle of obsessive thoughts and compulsions though I am learning. What do I need to do?
I also have PCOS but should I try to lose weight according to the PCOS since diabetes is one of the main complications to having PCOS? Should I lose weight according to the diabetes which has its own complications? It seems like a chicken and egg philosophy, but is it? My strategy to lose weight is flawed. Should I even have a strategy? What should I do?
I am just in a cycle of endless, bothersome thoughts, even more compulsions, and health issues. Should I be overly concerned about my age and the amount of medications that I take for my age? I am just tired of always struggling. I am tired of the mindless eating. I am just tired of the thoughts and the compulsions. I just need Your wisdom and guidance. I ask You also for peace of mind, something that I need right now. I am having thoughts about a possible celebrity feud and while I don't care, the OCD Persona does. I, Letters to God, don't care, but the OCD Persona is strong and wants me to care. God, what should I do?
I don't want to give in to what the OCD Persona has in store for me. Like I said, I don't like her, but I cannot seem to live without her. I also have unrepentant sin in my life. How do I repent of that sin and just not do it again? I don't want to live this way. I am not depressed but I just am tired. I am a bit weary and my whole life is a cycle. Lord, what should I do?
Letters to God