Friday, June 27, 2014

Health scares


Give me the strength, energy, and wisdom to lose weight.  I would like to confront my fears but I don't know how.  I have many fears judging from the obsessive compulsive disorder.  I wonder if it is a spiritual problem as well.  The exercise has done me some good and I would like to keep it up.  I know that life is a journey of choices.  I am afraid that I will make the wrong choices when it comes to my health.  Like I mentioned earlier, I would like to lose 100 pounds and this is something that is of great concern.  I surrender what is ailing me over to You.

I am filled with anxiety over this issue and I want more than anything to be a Christian.  I also would like to lose weight.  I am not just learning or trying anymore.  I am actually doing it and that makes me smile.  I am just so worried that I will fail on my end because I failed many times before.  I am more than motivated to lose weight and keep it off.  One hundred pounds is such a hard undertaking and I know it will take a while. I am nervous about this issue.

I know that there are other things that I should be worried about like hunger, starvation, budgeting, and what else is going on in the world.  However, it is hard to overcome fear and I am scared that I will never lose weight.  What I am afraid of is that I will be comfortable with my weight only in another few years to gain even more weight only it will be even harder to lose.  I am approaching 40 and I would like to know why it is harder for a woman to gain weight only to have an even harder time to make things harder.

I feel like it is my own fault.  I guess it is.  I don't like being overweight because I am no longer comfortable with myself.  There are things I cannot do that others take for granted.  I feel like a failure because I have allowed myself to gain weight and not take care of myself.  I fear what lies ahead down the road such as early death, amputation, and even insulin.  It is not easy having diabetes, though it is manageable.  I am just fearful all the way around.  I feel like sometimes I don't know what to do.  I need guidance in this area.  I ask You to guide me with Your Eye.

In Jesus' name,