Sunday, May 17, 2015

Presence

Dear Jesus,

I was down.  Now I felt like I am out.  I am not suicidal or anything like that, but I am depressed in the way that I am blue.  Is this what my life has amounted to?  I am often medicated and fatigued.  Today I was down and depressed.  I can't take my life and surroundings anymore.  I want to move.  I want to be independent. I want to leave but I feel like something is holding me back.  For years, nothing has changed.  Even if I say or do something, will things change?  I am not holding my breath.  I feel like I am being controlled and so is everyone else in the house.  There is a presence that is holding us all back.  I need clarity and guidance in this situation.  I need Your help, for I am pouring my heart out.  I need to pour my heart out.  Lord, I need wisdom in this matter.  I know that I will receive wisdom and for that I am thankful.  I would like for this presence to just go away and never come back.  There is no peace in this home.  I am just not happy.  I need You.

In Your name,


Amen