Thursday, May 28, 2015

Don't give up

Dear Heavenly Father,

Give me the strength to never give up.  Today's theme is to never give up.  Right now I feel like giving up.  I realize that it has never registered.  That is why losing weight is so hard for me.  I don't want to give up, but that is what I feel like doing.  I have overeaten in the past and I realize that I don't want to do that anymore. I pray about this, but it is like I have never been as honest as I hope to be now.  I weigh over 300 pounds and I have gotten used to weighing over 300 pounds.  The truth of the matter is, that is the least of my concerns. I have gotten happy with my weight and that is a problem.  I want to quit Weight Watchers, but I know I need help.  I cannot make it on my own when it comes to losing weight.  I have difficulty applying what I have learned.  Applying with I have learned worked for a while but I went back to my old habits.  The truth is, while the chocolate bars and the cupcakes and cookies were good, they are not helping me.  I am not doing a good job on trying to lose weight.  Well, the truth is, I have not tried.  Failure is my fault.  I know I need to lose weight and I know I need the support, but the real story is, I wonder if my heart is really in it.  There are periods when I have the desire to lose weight and there are other times when I just don't care any more.  I'd rather care.  I am spending money on a program that hasn't worked for me and the truth is, I want to quit.  I don't know what I am doing.  All I am really doing is playing the numbers game.  I don't know if I should stay on this program.  I have made a promise to stay on the program for a year.  Half the year is not over yet and I wish to give up.  If I were to give up, this would be my third time quitting and this would be the third time I would be wasting money.  I can't do that and I don't wish to do that anymore.  I realize that this is a decision I need to make for myself.  However, I ask for Your guidance.  I ask You to show me what I need to do.  I want to exercise and eat a healthy diet, but I don't know how to do those things.  I need immediate assistance in this manner.  Lord, I realize that I need a miracle.  I thank You for answering this prayer and I praise You that this prayer will be answered if it hasn't already.

In Jesus' name,