I thank You. This day has been a little dull and I don't like dull and boring days. I realize that I rather have dull and boring days sometimes. I try not to let my mind get the best of me. I overcame my idolatry with my crush/obsession at least for today. I am sorry that I let it get the best of me yesterday.
Images and thoughts keep coming back. I wonder sometimes why I have those thoughts, even about crushes and obsessions. I feel like I have degraded myself long enough with these crushes and obsessions. Sometimes I wish I could truly fall in love, get married, and have a family.
I want to live a normal life. I am 38 years old and sometimes I feel like I have nothing to show for it. I do realize that I need to be grateful. There are people who don't get to live, period. My issues are so minor compared to what many others go through. I have a computer and other things that I take for granted. I just am so grateful that I get a chance to walk daily because there are some people who cannot walk. There are others who have no feet and no legs.
I have a home to go to each and every day. There are those who have no home, much less a family. I have food to eat daily and I can calculate the amount of calories and carbs I eat per day. There are people who die of malnutrition because they have less than enough or rather, no food to eat.
I am just thankful. Help me to be mindful of those who are in need. Help me to be mindful of those who are less fortunate than I. I have You and others who love and respect me. I am sorry for not always be thankful for what I have. I rather have the dull, boring, groundhog days that I have than other days. I am prayerful and I can find something to do.
I thank You, Lord, that I am alive and that I have made it through another day.
Letters to God