So far, all is well. I feel like there is something that I need to do. I am still having to deal with the obsession with this actor. I want the images of this actor erased from my mind. I am bipolar with OCD symptoms. I can allow it to get too far which is what I don't want. I am saddened that I am even afraid to mention his name even though I have no need to fear. He has done nothing to me. I am trying to move on which isn't easy. I am committing idolatry and I am so sorry. I repent of my sins and I want more than anything to move on and move forward. This actor is quite talented yes, but he is a human, a sinful human being just like the rest of us. He is in need of You, Lord, and I prayed for him.
I realize that it doesn't matter when it happened, why it is happening, and who he is.
My obsession is just that...an obsession. I want to get rid of this obsession. Take this off of my mind. I want to move forward and do things that are good for me. I want to learn things. I want to expand my social circle. There is so much that I don't want to do. Where do I begin? Guide me, Lord with Your eye. Help me to see that there is so much for me to do and that I have so much to offer. Open doors for me so that I can serve You better.
This obsession with this actor is a sign that there is something missing in my life. I am missing a social life. I don't have any transportation so I cannot just go and come as I play. That has been an issue of mine for a while now. I need help in this area and I know that You are bigger than all of my issues. Lord, I ask that You do a mighty work in my life. Where do I begin? I need to tear down strongholds which means that I have to end this idolatrous fascination with this man. He is an image and another human and that is how I have to see it. It would be hard, but at the same time, with a little work, it will be easier. I am thankful that with You, all things are possible.
Letters to God