Monday, April 11, 2016

Not to ask amiss


I am not sure where I am really going in this world.  I no longer feel like the world has passed me by. I give You all credit and all praise for doing such for me.  I have to see that there are things that I need to and supposed to do.  The problem is, I don't know what to do and where to go.  I have received so much help that I feel bad about not knowing what help I am supposed to take.  None of it has sunk in except for the fact that I have made little progress, especially when it comes to losing weight.  I now feel like maybe unleashing would be a good thing.  Teach me how to pray without asking amiss.  I had trouble with finding the right words to say.  Maybe I should not focus on the words, but to focus on You.  I ask for forgiveness of my sins and I thank You in advance for answering this and all other prayers.

I realize that I am putting too much pressure on myself.  I am listening to a song about stress and wanting to live for You.  Living like and being a believer hasn't always been easy however.  It is worth it.  I wouldn't have it any other way.  I thank You for saving me and for convicting me daily. I am not perfected but I thank You for peace of mind.  Forgive me for all of my sins including the sin of gluttony.  I really can't explain in detail why I engage in such mindless eating.  I ask that You would help me with my weight, which I am concerned about.  I am worried that I will never lose the weight nor keep it off.  I am over 300 pounds and have health problems.  I have been told that I need to take my health more seriously and they are right.  I need to be held accountable for how I take care of myself.  Help me to see myself for who I really am and what I need to do.

What seems small or big to me is even larger to You.  It took me a while to actually allow that to sink in.  I need some change period, including when it comes to my spiritual, mental, emotional, and physical health. I get out of control and I don't know how to stop.  Lord, give me wisdom and control of my habits.  Give me and guide my understanding of what is most important in life.  I realize that I may be asking amiss and I am truly sorry.  I realize also that my prayers can be selfish.  Without asking amiss, I ask for forgiveness of sins, peace of mind, wisdom, and accountability.  I live in a world that is larger than myself and I ask that You would help me to see that my view of myself, You, and the world could be what is holding me back.  Life is about more than food and drink.  Forgive me, Father, for I have been living as if I had little faith especially in You.  I ask for conviction from the Holy Spirit, for I thank You, Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, for giving me peace of mind and again, for forgiveness.

I have grown tired of the same thing over and over again.  I would like to be able and strong enough to make different, and better choices as You show me how.  I ask that You would show me how. I realize that I am not of this world despite my living in it.  Help me to die to self daily, for I realize that I have not done so.  I also ask for wise counsel from You and for those who have wisdom.  Bless those who give counsel without providing ungodly counsel and an ungodly attitude in mind.  I have lived according to the flesh and I ask for forgiveness.  I repent of my sins.  I also ask that You would teach me that there are things that are more important to You than a change in my physical self, but also a change in my emotions, health, understanding, and spiritual matters.  Help me to see this world, and I give You thanks for thus far answering my prayers.  I give You praise for giving me clarity on things that are most important to me.