Tuesday, September 1, 2015

Motivations and having OCD

Lord Jesus,

I ask that You will help me to be a salt and light to the world.  I know that I cannot save, only You can.  You died on the cross for us all.  Thank You.  I ask for guidance in this manner.  I would like to know how to be a witness to others.  As a matter of fact, I am not sure what I need to do.  One time, I even wanted to be a missionary.  Like everything else, it didn't pan out.  Maybe I wasn't cut to be a missionary.  Maybe my reasoning was genuine.  Whatever my goals, I want to do things for the right motives.  I want to serve You, Jesus, all the days of my life.  I don't trust myself at all because I don't want trust my motives.  I am sorry for not praying to You earlier.  I wish I had.  I realize that I should have prayed about any impure motives that I have.  Forgive me for all of my sins, including motives that were not genuine.  I want to be a genuine person, a genuine Christian, and a genuine child of Yours.  I put all of my trust and confidence in You.

I feel like the stress of living in this world is stressing me out, if that made any sense to me.  Stress is something that I cannot live with at times. One thing that is causing me stress is uncertainty.  I have OCD, as You obviously know.  I wish that I didn't have this problem.  This problem has made me question my motives.  It also makes me question quite a few things.  I have been having doubts that I am saved.  It is as if I have to say the right words to be saved.  I need assurance from You.  There are times when I don't even know who I am as a believer.  It is hard at times.  It can be and it is scary.  You are the God of Truth.  I thank You that You and the Father are one.  Who am I?  If I were to die tomorrow, where will I end up?  I sometimes worry about dying because of this, when things are severe.  I think of the end times, especially during the moments when I become aware.  Awareness, and You of course, have been wonderful for me.  I ask You for help and healing in all things.

I give You thanks.

In Your name, Jesus, Amen.

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