Thursday, October 1, 2015

In need of peace


I cannot take the anxieties anymore.  I cannot take the obsessive thoughts and the fears anymore. What is wrong with me?  Why do I allow these things to happen?  I have urges that I don't want.  I often feel alone because I don't know anyone in my immediate family who has these issues.  It was like that when I was first diagnosed.  It was quite difficult for me.  My prayer to You is that I don't have these same issues for the rest of my days and that I don't have to react to them.  I have such great insight into these thoughts so why do I still have them?  I also have these images in my mind that just won't go away.  They are often scary sometimes.  Maybe I should leave some books and the fiction alone.  My life has gotten shorter and my world has gotten smaller.  I hate having the avoidance issue and I don't know how to deal with it.  Forgive me of my sins.  Draw me back to You. Help me to grow and to focus on You.  Help me to see that there are bigger issues and more important things than what seems to be important in the moment.  Lord, give me peace of mind and give me spiritual rest for I am overwhelmed.  Thank You for Your peace and Your focus and Your rest.


Letters to God