Monday, October 19, 2015

I feel like a failure at times


Sadly I have given You such little time.  I could have at least said "Thank You" but I have not done any of those things.  I have wondered why things are crazy at times.  I have made some poor choices lately and I don't know how to overcome those sins.  I am sorry that I have ever committed those sins. I have struggled with those sins for a long time.  I need and want to be a fully changed person, but I have no idea what to do or say.  I keep on falling.  I believe that You pick me up at times.  Why do I have doubts?  Why do I keep on falling?  I feel like I have failed the both of us.  I am also sorry for my failures.  I have literally sinned against You maybe even willfully.  That is wonder why I have doubts about being saved.  It could also be the OCD.  I also admit that I take You and being forgiven for granted.  I ask for change.  I ask for a change in motivation and drive.  I have stopped doing things I have done.  I ask for a miracle.  I want to know who I am and to live as if I am in Christ Jesus.  I am sorry that I have taken You for granted.  I know that You love me, but why?  I don't just slip up.  I mess up.  I want to be a different person, one who makes sound decisions.  I feel like a failure as a Christian.  Nothing seems to work out for me and I want to change that, but I don't know how.  I need help, Lord.  I need You right now, Lord.  I call on You for help and for guidance.

In Jesus' name,