I need a miracle from You right now. I don't what to do or how to do it. The topic is exercise. Create me in Your image. Wipe the slate clean. Make me a blank canvas. Use me, Lord. I will follow You always. I feel a little bit confused. I know that I need a change of mindset. Right now, my left foot, well, my toe has a burning sensation. My weight has gone up. I am responsible for this. I wanted it to be this way, I confess. I am here to write that there are changes that I need to make. I wish to accept that my heart wasn't always into it. My goal is to lose 108 pounds and to keep it off. I would be happy if I were to lose 60 pounds. I wish I had not given up on myself. I weighed less than 250 pounds. I remember the worst thing I had to deal with were fitting in my clothes. I had gotten used to my weight and I became okay with it.
Now, I am not. I am not that happy with my current weight. I am not that happy period. I need to lose weight. My toe has a burning sensation and my stomach is hanging down to a point where it is on my lap. I never thought that would happen. I never thought that I would weigh 300 pounds or have hormonal issues either. The problem I have been having is that I have hormonal issues that I need to address. I also realize that I am in need of guidance and support which I ask that You would provide for me. I am so scared. I am fearful. I wonder if there were other people who feel that way too.
I am in a period where I am afraid to eat the wrong kind of food and even eat breakfast. I am scared since I have been dealing with pain and burning sensations in my feet as of late. I would like to be cured of diabetes and I want and need to deal with being obese. There. I said it. I am not happy with myself. The truth is, I want to be ashamed of myself, but strangely I am not. I am not proud of myself and I would like to know how I allowed myself to be overweight like I am. I have gotten so fat that it would be nice if I were to weigh 270 pounds. It has been a while since that has happened. I am not so sure what to do and where to begin. I do not want to quit. Not at all do I desire to quit. I want to be happy and made whole. That is all I want from You. I ask this in Your name, Jesus. Amen.