Tuesday, June 16, 2015

Not in a fog


I thank You, for my mind is no longer in a fog.  I have been depressed for a while and today You have revealed what I did not care to admit.  There are people who I simply don't like.  I love them, but I don't like them.  I don't harbor any hatred, mind You.  I wonder if it is okay to not like a person, period.  I usually don't feel this way about someone, but I have to be honest.  You brought out the honesty in me.  I am just so tired of living the same days over and over and over again.  It is as if I bring nothing else to the table.  I have tried, but I don't know what else to do.  I need to change my situation.  I guess it continues to begin with me. I have a hard time living one day at a time, so I need Your help.  I also have fears that I have to face plus I have those same fears to be overcome.  I do have a capacity to overcome things, but I need Your help. Lord, I cannot make it on my own.  I need Your help.  I have gone the wrong route or two and it has made it worse instead of better and instead of opening my eyes, it also made me desperate and deceived.  I ask You for a miracle.  I have no idea how to turn things around.  I feel so powerless and I also feel that I also prove things right.  I don't want that for my life anymore.  I have to do things that are uncomfortable I know this, but I realize that it is the world that we live in.  Give me strength and wisdom in these times.  I rely on You each and every day. I have allowed myself to be allowed to let depression and lies to enter my mind. Forgive me, Father, for my sins.  I am really, sincerely, sorry.  I realize that I do have sin in me, but I don't want to continually sin, which I have done.  My desire is not only change my situation, but to change myself and how I see other people and the world.  I do need Your help so I am asking for a miracle in these times. I am asking for a miracle because of what has been going wrong in my life. I would like to be healthier, and become wiser, stable, and more godly.  I ask for these things in Your name, Jesus.  Amen.