Nigeria and race obsession

Dear Heavenly Father,

I pray for the girls in Nigeria that are missing.  I cannot imagine being a parent of a missing child.  I pray for a miracle.  I pray that the girls will return home safely so that the parents no longer worry.  I am concerned about this issue because I am concerned that the children may be hurt.  I pray that You would do a mighty work in Nigeria today.  I am asking for this, In Jesus' name.

I admit that I am race-obsessed and that is why I was concerned about Nigeria.  It seems to me that the rest of the world pays less attention to Africa, at least Sub Saharan Africa than they do the rest of the world. Like everywhere there is war, poverty, crime, and conflict.  I pray for the continent of Africa.  I am concerned also that if they were European, we would have heard about it a long time ago in the mainstream media.

I am concerned also about myself.  I may actually be too obsessed about the issue of race and racism.  As a person of color, I realize that there are things that I care too much about.  It all boils down with wondering how others really feel about me.  It is as if others are in control instead of us and You of course, being in control.  I would like to change that.  I am fearful of what other groups believe about me and I wonder sometimes if others who are black think less of me.

I need help.  I wondered this for a while especially with whites and Asians.  I never lived in a white neighborhood but have been to church with white people.  I felt uncomfortable because I wasn't sure if they would accept me as just another church member.  I have read and heard negative things about blacks not being allowed in mostly white churches.  There is certainly racism in the Body of Christ and it is a shame. Help me to look unto things that are above and not here.  I admit that there are things more important than race but that does not mean that it doesn't exist.

I have my own views of the issue of race and racism.  I often wonder what other groups think of black people and I am saddened by the fact that I get different answers.  I feel like maybe I am a racist or at least prejudiced.  I wonder if that really is the case.  I am concerned about that.  I hope that I am not.  Forgive me for the sins I know that I have not repented of, but I do still wonder about racism.  Will it end?  Why do I feel this way?  Would I feel more comfortable around black people only?  How do others really feel about me and would they feel uncomfortable around me?  Do they care or would they hold me in contempt?  Is it OCD or is it me?

Your help would be greatly appreciated and I thank You advance for answering my prayer.  I am very concerned about this issue and I thank You that You are here to read and listen to my point of view.

Amen