I was writing about my entertainment choices and I have left something out. I have to see things from Your word and then make a judgment. I am sorry that I don't always make judgment calls based on Your word. I wonder what would You watch on TV that is currently out there? I know that I write a lot about my weight but I realize that there is a lot to me besides my being overweight. There is the fact that I used to be at least healthier in the past. I feel like I missed the point sometimes.
When I watch TV, I don't watch based on the fact that You watch TV like You watch everything else. Help me to continue to see that You are omnipotent and that You do care about every detail of our lives. Help me to realize that fact. Television watching like browsing on the internet seems like a small detail but when I think about the influences through mass media, I find that it is not a big deal. Help me abstain from even the appearance of evil.
I admit that I fail to do so whenever I am entertaining myself through the internet, television, movies, and through music. I go by judgments according to my obsessive thoughts. Everything is gone according to my obsessive thoughts, which I have gotten used to. The truth is, I want to change that, too. The best thing to do is to follow the schedule that I have laid out for myself. I admit that I have yet to follow that schedule. I honestly don't know what I am waiting for. Help me to see that exercise is not and should not be a chore, but something that is fun and good for my mind and body. I want to take care of myself, but only for me and for my health.
I failed to follow the schedule at hand and there are no excuses. I wish that I had. I don't want to say that things don't come easy for me, but the truth is, they don't. Show me how to apply myself and to apply all that I have learned and written to my life, then things will be easier. I have been feeling down lately because I more often than not fail to do so and sometimes fail miserably. I just would like to be able to be a healthy, whole young woman who knows how to follow instructions, whether it is from a schedule or from writings like recipes.
That is all I want for myself. I also ask to be a Christian who lives and behaves like a Christian. Things are so hard and nothing seems to be working. I don't know how much else I can say, but I need Your wisdom and guidance. Lord, thank You for taking the time to answer this long prayer . Help me to see that You created me as a valuable human being who doesn't need affirmations to apply to myself and tweet on Twitter daily. I have so much to ask You but I don't really know where or how to begin. Lord, where do I go from here?
Letters to God