I am worried about my health. I have been worried about my health for quite some time. I admit that I don't always eat well and exercise much but I need help. I have mentioned earlier that I need to change. I am not just willing to change. I actually want to do so. I need Your health advice so to speak.
Lord, I ask for Your forgiveness for all of my sins. I ask for the Holy Spirit's leading in this area. Your word says that by Jesus' stripes, I am healed. I have diabetes and it is uncontrolled. Help me to control my diabetes. You are able to help me and give me guidance. I ask for wisdom and focus on how to consume healthy foods and drinks, and to actually enjoy exercise.
Sometimes I feel like I am too hard on myself. I have these set goals that I will never accomplish only to have to start over again. Help me to set realistic goals that I can set. Right now, I have set a small goal and that is to lose less than five pounds. I have a condition that makes it harder to lose weight, but it is not impossible. I know this.
As You well know, I am not just concerned about my health, but I am concerned about being self-conscious about my weight, especially my appearance. I have a large stomach, so I believe that I have a rather disproportionate body. I have an average face with a double chin and a toned body with a rather huge belly. I felt and still feel somewhat guilty about gaining the weight that I have gained.
I wonder if this is okay. I have become complacent with being overweight for so long, I am now scared to gain weight. Seeing other overweight people don't bother me, but I feel bad for those who are super obese. I don't like the phrase morbidly obese because the word morbid means something to be disgusted by in my opinion. I think that those who are very obese are marginalized and need to be prayed for. They have addictions, and emotional and health issues and I think that we as Christians should pray for them.
I myself have emotional and health issues. I am only 39 years old and I find myself feeling like I am literally falling apart with all of my health issues. I see a counselor, an endocrinologist, and in the past, a physical therapist. Also I see a nutritionist and diabetes, and not to mention an orthopedic, and eye doctor, and a general doctor. I feel like that is just too many doctors and I wonder if I am just a lab rat. That is how I now feel. I recall not having to have so many appointments. Yes, I was overweight, but I recall being less self-conscious about my health.
Then after 2007, I began to gain weight, yet rapidly. It took around 8 months or so to gain 60 pounds, which was highly unusual for me. I also have had itchy skin and pregnancy symptoms, but I wasn't pregnant. One of the worst things that happened was that I began to weigh more than I ever had before and I could no longer do some things that I once took for granted. I could barely walk and do other things. I felt slowed down. Father, I don't pray often enough about my health. So I am asking You for healing and wholeness. Jesus healed lepers and raised the dead. I believe that with You, all things are possible.
Letters to God