Dear Lord,
I am worried about my health. I have been worried about my health for quite some time. I admit that I don't always eat well and exercise much but I need help. I have mentioned earlier that I need to change. I am not just willing to change. I actually want to do so. I need Your health advice so to speak.
Lord, I ask for Your forgiveness for all of my sins. I ask for the Holy Spirit's leading in this area. Your word says that by Jesus' stripes, I am healed. I have diabetes and it is uncontrolled. Help me to control my diabetes. You are able to help me and give me guidance. I ask for wisdom and focus on how to consume healthy foods and drinks, and to actually enjoy exercise.
Sometimes I feel like I am too hard on myself. I have these set goals that I will never accomplish only to have to start over again. Help me to set realistic goals that I can set. Right now, I have set a small goal and that is to lose less than five pounds. I have a condition that makes it harder to lose weight, but it is not impossible. I know this.
As You well know, I am not just concerned about my health, but I am concerned about being self-conscious about my weight, especially my appearance. I have a large stomach, so I believe that I have a rather disproportionate body. I have an average face with a double chin and a toned body with a rather huge belly. I felt and still feel somewhat guilty about gaining the weight that I have gained.
I wonder if this is okay. I have become complacent with being overweight for so long, I am now scared to gain weight. Seeing other overweight people don't bother me, but I feel bad for those who are super obese. I don't like the phrase morbidly obese because the word morbid means something to be disgusted by in my opinion. I think that those who are very obese are marginalized and need to be prayed for. They have addictions, and emotional and health issues and I think that we as Christians should pray for them.
I myself have emotional and health issues. I am only 39 years old and I find myself feeling like I am literally falling apart with all of my health issues. I see a counselor, an endocrinologist, and in the past, a physical therapist. Also I see a nutritionist and diabetes, and not to mention an orthopedic, and eye doctor, and a general doctor. I feel like that is just too many doctors and I wonder if I am just a lab rat. That is how I now feel. I recall not having to have so many appointments. Yes, I was overweight, but I recall being less self-conscious about my health.
Then after 2007, I began to gain weight, yet rapidly. It took around 8 months or so to gain 60 pounds, which was highly unusual for me. I also have had itchy skin and pregnancy symptoms, but I wasn't pregnant. One of the worst things that happened was that I began to weigh more than I ever had before and I could no longer do some things that I once took for granted. I could barely walk and do other things. I felt slowed down. Father, I don't pray often enough about my health. So I am asking You for healing and wholeness. Jesus healed lepers and raised the dead. I believe that with You, all things are possible.
Thank You.
Sincerely,
Letters to God
Saturday, May 31, 2014
Friday, May 30, 2014
The same issues I had yesterday
Dear God,
Help me to see myself as You see me. I know that I wrote this yesterday and I thank You. I have eaten a bit mindlessly. The food is rather "addictive". I need to cut that food out or limit what I eat. So I brought some sandwich bags in order to portion out what I need to eat. I also purchased enough foods today so that I can lose the weight and keep it off. Show me what else I need to do.
Thank You.
Sincerely,
Letters to God
Help me to see myself as You see me. I know that I wrote this yesterday and I thank You. I have eaten a bit mindlessly. The food is rather "addictive". I need to cut that food out or limit what I eat. So I brought some sandwich bags in order to portion out what I need to eat. I also purchased enough foods today so that I can lose the weight and keep it off. Show me what else I need to do.
Thank You.
Sincerely,
Letters to God
Thursday, May 29, 2014
How I see myself
Dear Heavenly Father,
What should I do? How shall I live? How can I make it without You? The truth is, I cannot. You have revealed this to me this this morning. I put all of my trust in You. In a rather cruel world such as this, it is hard to trust humanity. Your word says that we cannot trust in the things of man, but to trust in the things of God. Of course, I am only paraphrasing it.
My life has been surrendered to You. You have given me the peace of mind that I so desperately needed, and still do. I have issues that go way back into childhood and my college years. I was teased and made fun of because I stuck out. I was different and it took me a while to realize that. I hardly and even more so, rarely see myself as a beautiful person, at least physically. Show me how to see myself as You see me, whatever that is.
Your word says that I am fearfully and wonderfully made and that is quite hard to apply to me. Show me how to apply Your word to my daily life. I have difficulty and even doubt believing that I am fearfully and wonderfully made. What does that mean? Help me to understand. How does this apply to me?
I have been self-conscious of my appearance for a long time. I have been made fun, and thus, rejected. I never got asked out. I have never been in a relationship. I wouldn't know what to do. I have never been kissed nor have I ever been truly in love. I have a hard time believing compliments about myself and I know that it has stemmed from having low self-esteem.
People saw one thing, but You see something else entirely. Your word says so, but it means that I have to affirm myself. I wish that I could believe it and have high self-esteem. My self-worth is often based on my appearance. I am down on myself not because I want to be, but because I have a hard time believing in what You say. I have doubts about things including my appearance.
I wish I could say with pride that I am beautiful, unique, and special, but that is difficult for me to believe. I have dreams of being a fat blob. I am short and overweight with a double chin and an average face. That is hardly someone who has a high self-esteem and self worth. I care too much what others think. I would like to change those things about myself.
I become even more self-conscious since I have been diagnosed as having Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome. I have compared myself to others for years and I have still been comparing myself to others. Most people would see a regular overweight woman. I have a large stomach and that has been a source of contention. I see my body as disproportionate and my face average. I wish I could see myself better than I do. I need Your help and Your wisdom. Teach me to affirm myself and to give me the tools that I need to better myself.
I have gained a lot of weight in a short period of time. Granted, I am struggling with a poor diet and a lack of motivation, but I have also emotional issues that have made things worse. I make no excuses, I am just telling You the truth. I am being honest about what is going on. I am struggling to take better care of my health. I feel like I am falling apart physically. I don't know if it is the PCOS or simply my weight. My weight and my age are of great concerns to me.
I need guidance when it comes to this. I have allowed others and have allowed the world to dictate how I should think and feel about myself. I give You total control of all I am and all that I have. Thank You for saving my soul, and I thank You for taking control of my life.
I need You. I need immediate assistance in this manner. While I learn something new everyday, it seems that I struggle to apply things to my life. Help me not to see things as complicated. Help me to keep things simple. All I have to do is this, that, and the other. However, I see this, that, and the other as something difficult because it doesn't register. Open the windows of Heaven and fill me with Your Holy Spirit. Open my eyes that I may see what I really going on with me. Help me to understand that I am a beautiful person who doesn't have to compare myself to other people.
In Jesus' name,
Amen
What should I do? How shall I live? How can I make it without You? The truth is, I cannot. You have revealed this to me this this morning. I put all of my trust in You. In a rather cruel world such as this, it is hard to trust humanity. Your word says that we cannot trust in the things of man, but to trust in the things of God. Of course, I am only paraphrasing it.
My life has been surrendered to You. You have given me the peace of mind that I so desperately needed, and still do. I have issues that go way back into childhood and my college years. I was teased and made fun of because I stuck out. I was different and it took me a while to realize that. I hardly and even more so, rarely see myself as a beautiful person, at least physically. Show me how to see myself as You see me, whatever that is.
Your word says that I am fearfully and wonderfully made and that is quite hard to apply to me. Show me how to apply Your word to my daily life. I have difficulty and even doubt believing that I am fearfully and wonderfully made. What does that mean? Help me to understand. How does this apply to me?
I have been self-conscious of my appearance for a long time. I have been made fun, and thus, rejected. I never got asked out. I have never been in a relationship. I wouldn't know what to do. I have never been kissed nor have I ever been truly in love. I have a hard time believing compliments about myself and I know that it has stemmed from having low self-esteem.
People saw one thing, but You see something else entirely. Your word says so, but it means that I have to affirm myself. I wish that I could believe it and have high self-esteem. My self-worth is often based on my appearance. I am down on myself not because I want to be, but because I have a hard time believing in what You say. I have doubts about things including my appearance.
I wish I could say with pride that I am beautiful, unique, and special, but that is difficult for me to believe. I have dreams of being a fat blob. I am short and overweight with a double chin and an average face. That is hardly someone who has a high self-esteem and self worth. I care too much what others think. I would like to change those things about myself.
I become even more self-conscious since I have been diagnosed as having Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome. I have compared myself to others for years and I have still been comparing myself to others. Most people would see a regular overweight woman. I have a large stomach and that has been a source of contention. I see my body as disproportionate and my face average. I wish I could see myself better than I do. I need Your help and Your wisdom. Teach me to affirm myself and to give me the tools that I need to better myself.
I have gained a lot of weight in a short period of time. Granted, I am struggling with a poor diet and a lack of motivation, but I have also emotional issues that have made things worse. I make no excuses, I am just telling You the truth. I am being honest about what is going on. I am struggling to take better care of my health. I feel like I am falling apart physically. I don't know if it is the PCOS or simply my weight. My weight and my age are of great concerns to me.
I need guidance when it comes to this. I have allowed others and have allowed the world to dictate how I should think and feel about myself. I give You total control of all I am and all that I have. Thank You for saving my soul, and I thank You for taking control of my life.
I need You. I need immediate assistance in this manner. While I learn something new everyday, it seems that I struggle to apply things to my life. Help me not to see things as complicated. Help me to keep things simple. All I have to do is this, that, and the other. However, I see this, that, and the other as something difficult because it doesn't register. Open the windows of Heaven and fill me with Your Holy Spirit. Open my eyes that I may see what I really going on with me. Help me to understand that I am a beautiful person who doesn't have to compare myself to other people.
In Jesus' name,
Amen
Wednesday, May 28, 2014
The Ability to Change
Dear Heavenly Father,
I want to change. Give me the wisdom, strength, and motivation to change. I don't like things the way they are. I have grown lazy and complacent and I have grown tired. Sadly, that is the problem. I have grown tired, but I have failed to grow in other areas.
I have gained weight. I have been afraid for so long I feel like I didn't know of anything else. I have gone nowhere and experienced life in years. I don't do much and I would like to do more. I wish, hope,and keep on wishing.
I pour out my complaint before You. I feel like I will never grow. I feel like never change. I am just so unmotivated yet hopeful. I am so good at procrastinating. I don't know how I change. I want to just eat the right kind of foods and exercise. I want to be thinner and not be so self-conscious. What is wrong with me?
Help me, Lord. Help me to change. I ask for a renewal of my mind. I ask for a change of heart. Help me to be the person that I mean, You want me to be. I felt like giving up sometimes. However, knowing that giving up will hurt me.
I want to know more about You. I don't want to be so anxiety-ridden anymore. I finally see myself differently from the persona that has bothered me for years now. I want to make it without her. I have gotten better but I realize that there is some ways to go. Lord, I ask for Your healing touch. I ask that You would make me whole.
Thank You.
In Jesus' name,
Amen
I want to change. Give me the wisdom, strength, and motivation to change. I don't like things the way they are. I have grown lazy and complacent and I have grown tired. Sadly, that is the problem. I have grown tired, but I have failed to grow in other areas.
I have gained weight. I have been afraid for so long I feel like I didn't know of anything else. I have gone nowhere and experienced life in years. I don't do much and I would like to do more. I wish, hope,and keep on wishing.
I pour out my complaint before You. I feel like I will never grow. I feel like never change. I am just so unmotivated yet hopeful. I am so good at procrastinating. I don't know how I change. I want to just eat the right kind of foods and exercise. I want to be thinner and not be so self-conscious. What is wrong with me?
Help me, Lord. Help me to change. I ask for a renewal of my mind. I ask for a change of heart. Help me to be the person that I mean, You want me to be. I felt like giving up sometimes. However, knowing that giving up will hurt me.
I want to know more about You. I don't want to be so anxiety-ridden anymore. I finally see myself differently from the persona that has bothered me for years now. I want to make it without her. I have gotten better but I realize that there is some ways to go. Lord, I ask for Your healing touch. I ask that You would make me whole.
Thank You.
In Jesus' name,
Amen
Tuesday, May 27, 2014
Dealing with fears
Dear God,
I am afraid. I am filled with fear, doubt, and uncertainty. I am surprised that I am not afraid of my own shadow. I spent my whole life beset by fears and doubts. The problem is that I have allowed myself to be caught up in the things of the world. How do I overcome the world like Your word says Jesus did? How do I follow Jesus when it is so hard?
I ask You for strength. Having OCD is so annoying and it can be harder to deal with even more so than the bipolar. I am afraid that I will never get over the OCD, that I will never move on. I finally realize that I am caught up in sin and especially the sins of others. I don't like the "OCD Persona". My fear is that I will become like her, someone who is neurotic, anxiety-ridden, judgmental, and hypocritical. I fear that I will be a hateful person who judges others, especially those women who commit infidelity.
I am also fearful of the fact that I am diabetic. Being diabetic is not easy. I fear that every time I have a dry mouth or even gain a pound, my diabetic symptoms are worsening. I have so many fears and needs. I am scared that I have no idea how to change. Why do I feel so clueless and unable to change? I don't like being diabetic but having PCOS is hopefully something that I have not used as an excuse. I am just afraid and I need your healing. I just hope and pray that I am not getting worse.
I don't know how to overcome fear. I know the answer, but I have no understanding of how to deal with the torment that I am going through? These fears I am surprised have not paralyzed me, but I admit that they have made my world smaller. I often avoid having things and I hate it. I just feel so alone and I need Your help. It will be greatly appreciated.
Sincerely,
Letters to God
Saturday, May 24, 2014
Taking better care of myself
Dear God,
Lord, help me to take better care of myself. I do need to take my health more seriously. Sometimes, I feel like I am just "falling apart". I ask to be healed and thus, made whole. I have prayed for healing before but I am still suffering. I guess it was because I came across as selfish before. Maybe my faith was lacking, I don't know. Maybe You have another reason why I have not been healed. I am constantly reminded of those who have cancer or AIDS and it also makes me feel so much like I am so selfish.
There are many who are going through worse diseases that have no cures and also those who have genetic disorders. Those who are suffering are to be respected. Like our soldiers, they are unsung heroes. I ask that You would heel them for I wonder how they manage to deal with having more life-threatening diseases.
Help me, rather warn me about diabetes and what could happen if I am not taking care of myself. I am just beside myself. Why can't I get it together? I have diabetes and I know of the risks or rather, "dangers", so why is it not registering? It seems like a minor form of diabetes, but is it really? I have been diagnosed a few years ago and life has changed pretty much for the better, yet I admit that I am taking life for granted.
I give good answers as to why I want to control my diabetes and lose weight, yet I have had difficulty putting it into practice. I know of the insulin, the amputations, and the early deaths from complications, yet I am scared that it has yet to register with me. Yesterday, I suffered from one of the effects: having trouble producing saliva. My mother said that it either may be or it is from the diabetes. That concerned me a little bit. I don't like having diabetes, but I am at peace with it because I have been at peace with taking the medication for it.
I still have my doubts and questions about how to take care of myself. Recall I said that I feel like I am falling apart. I do feel that way. I am an overweight diabetic who has PCOS, back problems, OCD, and bipolar disorder, not to mention I am 39 years old. Life was an even bigger struggle and has been so in the last few years. Lord, give me the strength that I need to make it through the day. I go to this doctor and that doctor and this therapist and it can be a little bit much. On the bright side, at least I am getting help. I am thankful for that help but going to all of those individuals can be a bit daunting.
It hasn't always been such a rough experience for me whereas things can be a lot worse. I am surprised by the fact that I have gotten used to all of that yet it makes me tired. I want to do more, Lord. Show me what I need to do in order for me to "get it". I am serious about this but how do I prove to myself that I am taking it more seriously? Lord Jesus, I touch the hem of your garment. I ask that You would make me whole. Thank you for making me whole and for healing me.
In Jesus' name,
Amen
Lord, help me to take better care of myself. I do need to take my health more seriously. Sometimes, I feel like I am just "falling apart". I ask to be healed and thus, made whole. I have prayed for healing before but I am still suffering. I guess it was because I came across as selfish before. Maybe my faith was lacking, I don't know. Maybe You have another reason why I have not been healed. I am constantly reminded of those who have cancer or AIDS and it also makes me feel so much like I am so selfish.
There are many who are going through worse diseases that have no cures and also those who have genetic disorders. Those who are suffering are to be respected. Like our soldiers, they are unsung heroes. I ask that You would heel them for I wonder how they manage to deal with having more life-threatening diseases.
Help me, rather warn me about diabetes and what could happen if I am not taking care of myself. I am just beside myself. Why can't I get it together? I have diabetes and I know of the risks or rather, "dangers", so why is it not registering? It seems like a minor form of diabetes, but is it really? I have been diagnosed a few years ago and life has changed pretty much for the better, yet I admit that I am taking life for granted.
I give good answers as to why I want to control my diabetes and lose weight, yet I have had difficulty putting it into practice. I know of the insulin, the amputations, and the early deaths from complications, yet I am scared that it has yet to register with me. Yesterday, I suffered from one of the effects: having trouble producing saliva. My mother said that it either may be or it is from the diabetes. That concerned me a little bit. I don't like having diabetes, but I am at peace with it because I have been at peace with taking the medication for it.
I still have my doubts and questions about how to take care of myself. Recall I said that I feel like I am falling apart. I do feel that way. I am an overweight diabetic who has PCOS, back problems, OCD, and bipolar disorder, not to mention I am 39 years old. Life was an even bigger struggle and has been so in the last few years. Lord, give me the strength that I need to make it through the day. I go to this doctor and that doctor and this therapist and it can be a little bit much. On the bright side, at least I am getting help. I am thankful for that help but going to all of those individuals can be a bit daunting.
It hasn't always been such a rough experience for me whereas things can be a lot worse. I am surprised by the fact that I have gotten used to all of that yet it makes me tired. I want to do more, Lord. Show me what I need to do in order for me to "get it". I am serious about this but how do I prove to myself that I am taking it more seriously? Lord Jesus, I touch the hem of your garment. I ask that You would make me whole. Thank you for making me whole and for healing me.
In Jesus' name,
Amen
Thursday, May 22, 2014
Having PCOS
Dear Heavenly Father,
Show me how to deal with having PCOS. It hasn't been easy but I thank You that I have handled things better than I thought I have. However, my diet is poor and I have a rather spotty exercise regimen. I am proud of neither. I would like to be healthy and to take better care of myself. Show me how to work towards both and to not be too hard on myself when I make even the littlest mistake. I admit that I am too hard on myself because I don't start off slow. Forgive me of all of my sins. Help me to focus on You and the eternal while living in this world. Give me the guidance that I truly need, and I thank You for doing so.
In Jesus' name,
Amen
Show me how to deal with having PCOS. It hasn't been easy but I thank You that I have handled things better than I thought I have. However, my diet is poor and I have a rather spotty exercise regimen. I am proud of neither. I would like to be healthy and to take better care of myself. Show me how to work towards both and to not be too hard on myself when I make even the littlest mistake. I admit that I am too hard on myself because I don't start off slow. Forgive me of all of my sins. Help me to focus on You and the eternal while living in this world. Give me the guidance that I truly need, and I thank You for doing so.
In Jesus' name,
Amen
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