Dear Lord,
I didn't realize how strong or rather how weak my faith was, until today. How far am I willing to go as to give up my very life to You? I was watching this really awesome film about that very same topic and even though I would like to know more about You, I don't take the time to do so. I am sorry but that isn't enough. I need help. I need to repent but I don't know how. I need to change.
I was so caught up in the things in this world that sometimes I don't always think about the eternal world. As You can see, I want to go to Heaven when I die and spend eternity with You. I am afraid that I will not change. I am afraid that I will continue to be caught up in the world instead of just being in the world but not of the world. Then I wonder why things don't always work out for me.
It is my fault. It is all my fault. I think on the least necessary of things like a tv show that I don't really plan on watching. I ask and check and research for reassurance. It helps me temporarily but I realize that this too shall pass though it doesn't always feel or seem that way. I feel like I am alone in this world. I have to admit that I am not in strong in faith. Help me with my unbelief.
Sincerely,
Letters to God
Tuesday, July 8, 2014
Monday, July 7, 2014
Issue that is more of a bondage
Dear Heavenly Father,
I ask that You would draw me closer to You. I also ask that You will use me as a vessel to draw others closer to You. I don't believe that I have not done enough. However, can any believer do enough? I don't want to be told that You never knew me. That would be my greatest fear.
Give me a reason to not fear and have doubts. I didn't like what I did last night after I prayed. I am so sorry for my hypocrisy and my disobedience. Christianity is not a religion of hypocrisy but of truth, integrity, and justice. What I did last night didn't constitute not even one of these things.
I am obsessed with this very issue. I am in dire need of help. I want to be ready for Your return, but I don't trust myself or my motives. I know that I wrote this last nigh. Though I don't trust my motives or even myself, I trust You. I need help overcoming this issue. I realize that I need to let go if I could.
I also need to know if I could go ahead and just pray it away. I am not trying to be funny, crass, or disrespectful, but I am hopeless when it comes to this issue. It is somewhat of a compulsion but I always give in as well. I wish I could tell You that I tried to stop, but I didn't try hard enough. I know that I need to be set free from this for this is an issue that I have.
I have had this issue for years now and I believe that my obsessions, my crushes, and this issue all go hand in hand. I have the insight but I don't know how to deal with it. Such has been the story of my life, especially for the past seven or so years.
The root cause is not a lack of a healthy self-respect, though that would play a role. The issue is having an unhealthy fascination starting from when I was a child. I wonder if being isolated has something to do with it. I have issues that stem from childhood that have yet to be fixed. I wonder if that is what I am bonded to. How do I get set free from all of this bondage?
Sincerely,
Letters to God
I ask that You would draw me closer to You. I also ask that You will use me as a vessel to draw others closer to You. I don't believe that I have not done enough. However, can any believer do enough? I don't want to be told that You never knew me. That would be my greatest fear.
Give me a reason to not fear and have doubts. I didn't like what I did last night after I prayed. I am so sorry for my hypocrisy and my disobedience. Christianity is not a religion of hypocrisy but of truth, integrity, and justice. What I did last night didn't constitute not even one of these things.
I am obsessed with this very issue. I am in dire need of help. I want to be ready for Your return, but I don't trust myself or my motives. I know that I wrote this last nigh. Though I don't trust my motives or even myself, I trust You. I need help overcoming this issue. I realize that I need to let go if I could.
I also need to know if I could go ahead and just pray it away. I am not trying to be funny, crass, or disrespectful, but I am hopeless when it comes to this issue. It is somewhat of a compulsion but I always give in as well. I wish I could tell You that I tried to stop, but I didn't try hard enough. I know that I need to be set free from this for this is an issue that I have.
I have had this issue for years now and I believe that my obsessions, my crushes, and this issue all go hand in hand. I have the insight but I don't know how to deal with it. Such has been the story of my life, especially for the past seven or so years.
The root cause is not a lack of a healthy self-respect, though that would play a role. The issue is having an unhealthy fascination starting from when I was a child. I wonder if being isolated has something to do with it. I have issues that stem from childhood that have yet to be fixed. I wonder if that is what I am bonded to. How do I get set free from all of this bondage?
Sincerely,
Letters to God
Sunday, July 6, 2014
Pouring my heart out to the Lord
Dear God,
Draw me closer to You. Sometimes I feel like I am not close to You. I feel alone and disconnected. I don't understand what I am doing wrong. Is it the doubts that plague me on a daily basis? Am I saying the wrong things? Do I lack faith? Maybe that is the problem. I don't know what is going on. Help me, Lord.
I am frustrated. I have fears in my life. I feel like I am walking on eggshells with everyone and I cannot take it anymore. I ask that You would renew my mind so that I may be transformed by this renewal. I am here to say that I need to be less fearful and be more of good courage. Fear has plagued me for a long time and it has gotten me nowhere.
I am trying to say that I just don't know how to live life anymore. I spent so much time on dealing with the wrong issues and not on doing the right things. To me, I don't know what the right things are. I do need to take better care of my body and my health, yes. However, I also need to take care of my heart. I also need to manage having OCD, not just to deal with it. It seems so cold to just deal with it. I feel like everything is about checking and asking for reassurance. It goes from being saved to infidelity to celebrities. Help me to take better care of my soul, my very core.
There are sins that are hidden from the rest of the world that only You and I know about. I am not proud of those sins. Cleanse me from my secret faults. Make me whole again. I am more than aware that You will hold me accountable for how I live my life. I don't trust myself, but I will put my trust in You. It is as if everything I do is being controlled by my obsessions and my thoughts. How do I embrace the obsessive compulsive disorder? How do I live life without obsessing about things that are really none of my business or should not even be my concern? I feel like my life is just one obsession after another. I also feel like I am living in an obsessive reality. I wonder if I am committing idolatry because I spend a lot of time with dealing with these thoughts more so than being a believer and living for Jesus.
I write and talk a good game, but I wonder if I am living it. Why me, Lord? I feel like a hypocrite sometimes. I spent a lot of my time thinking about a person who has since passed more so than I think of the things that are eternal. I am not a Catholic, but I wonder if he made it to Heaven or to Hell. I shudder to think what happened to his soul. I do think about these things whether or not I will spend eternity in Heaven though it will pass away and live in the New Jerusalem. It scares me to think that I may not be ready and that I won't spend eternity with You. Help me to understand that You love me and to test myself to see if I am one of Yours. I should hear Your voice but it seems as if I am too much into the world like tv more so than Your Word. I am sorry.
I am afraid that I will be one of those "Christians" that will not make it. I am scared of times that I will end up deceiving myself. When if I were to pass away right now? Where will I end up? I don't have enough confidence in myself as far where I will end up. I hope that I lived right, and hear Your voice in order to be raptured. I won't set any dates but I believe that You will return soon and I look forward to it. I look forward to life being over, but first I got to not have these doubts. I will also have to grow closer to You which I feel I have not. I feel like I am isolated and it makes things worse. I just want to grow in You and get to truly know You better.
I ask that You would purify my motives. I don't trust myself when it comes to why I want to be born-again, saved, repentant, and spirit filled. I also don't trust myself in pretty much anything. Are my motives pure? Am I being genuine? Lord, why am I here? What are my main goals? Nothing seems to work out for me as far as trying to lead others to You. I keep trying and learning only to fall on my face. Lord, provide for me opportunities to grow and to lead others to You. I truly do want to live for You and serve You all the days of my life.
What kind of Christian am I? What is my identity? Who am I really? Reveal to me these things, O Lord. I sometimes don't know who I am. I wonder sometimes if I am truly genuine or if I am a decent person. When if I am or have been deceived? What do I need to do? Give me the wisdom and guidance that I so need. I need a sense of direction in my life. What are Your plans for my life? All I know is that I have a low income, no job, and I need to update my skills. I ask for greater opportunities and open doors.
I am happy to be pouring my heart out to You like this. I feel better when I do. Thank You for blessing me to write, pray, and use my talents to not only serve You, but to write about how I feel.
In Jesus' name,
Amen
Draw me closer to You. Sometimes I feel like I am not close to You. I feel alone and disconnected. I don't understand what I am doing wrong. Is it the doubts that plague me on a daily basis? Am I saying the wrong things? Do I lack faith? Maybe that is the problem. I don't know what is going on. Help me, Lord.
I am frustrated. I have fears in my life. I feel like I am walking on eggshells with everyone and I cannot take it anymore. I ask that You would renew my mind so that I may be transformed by this renewal. I am here to say that I need to be less fearful and be more of good courage. Fear has plagued me for a long time and it has gotten me nowhere.
I am trying to say that I just don't know how to live life anymore. I spent so much time on dealing with the wrong issues and not on doing the right things. To me, I don't know what the right things are. I do need to take better care of my body and my health, yes. However, I also need to take care of my heart. I also need to manage having OCD, not just to deal with it. It seems so cold to just deal with it. I feel like everything is about checking and asking for reassurance. It goes from being saved to infidelity to celebrities. Help me to take better care of my soul, my very core.
There are sins that are hidden from the rest of the world that only You and I know about. I am not proud of those sins. Cleanse me from my secret faults. Make me whole again. I am more than aware that You will hold me accountable for how I live my life. I don't trust myself, but I will put my trust in You. It is as if everything I do is being controlled by my obsessions and my thoughts. How do I embrace the obsessive compulsive disorder? How do I live life without obsessing about things that are really none of my business or should not even be my concern? I feel like my life is just one obsession after another. I also feel like I am living in an obsessive reality. I wonder if I am committing idolatry because I spend a lot of time with dealing with these thoughts more so than being a believer and living for Jesus.
I write and talk a good game, but I wonder if I am living it. Why me, Lord? I feel like a hypocrite sometimes. I spent a lot of my time thinking about a person who has since passed more so than I think of the things that are eternal. I am not a Catholic, but I wonder if he made it to Heaven or to Hell. I shudder to think what happened to his soul. I do think about these things whether or not I will spend eternity in Heaven though it will pass away and live in the New Jerusalem. It scares me to think that I may not be ready and that I won't spend eternity with You. Help me to understand that You love me and to test myself to see if I am one of Yours. I should hear Your voice but it seems as if I am too much into the world like tv more so than Your Word. I am sorry.
I am afraid that I will be one of those "Christians" that will not make it. I am scared of times that I will end up deceiving myself. When if I were to pass away right now? Where will I end up? I don't have enough confidence in myself as far where I will end up. I hope that I lived right, and hear Your voice in order to be raptured. I won't set any dates but I believe that You will return soon and I look forward to it. I look forward to life being over, but first I got to not have these doubts. I will also have to grow closer to You which I feel I have not. I feel like I am isolated and it makes things worse. I just want to grow in You and get to truly know You better.
I ask that You would purify my motives. I don't trust myself when it comes to why I want to be born-again, saved, repentant, and spirit filled. I also don't trust myself in pretty much anything. Are my motives pure? Am I being genuine? Lord, why am I here? What are my main goals? Nothing seems to work out for me as far as trying to lead others to You. I keep trying and learning only to fall on my face. Lord, provide for me opportunities to grow and to lead others to You. I truly do want to live for You and serve You all the days of my life.
What kind of Christian am I? What is my identity? Who am I really? Reveal to me these things, O Lord. I sometimes don't know who I am. I wonder sometimes if I am truly genuine or if I am a decent person. When if I am or have been deceived? What do I need to do? Give me the wisdom and guidance that I so need. I need a sense of direction in my life. What are Your plans for my life? All I know is that I have a low income, no job, and I need to update my skills. I ask for greater opportunities and open doors.
I am happy to be pouring my heart out to You like this. I feel better when I do. Thank You for blessing me to write, pray, and use my talents to not only serve You, but to write about how I feel.
In Jesus' name,
Amen
Saturday, July 5, 2014
Psalm 150
Praise the LORD. Praise God in his sanctuary; praise him in his mighty heavens. 2 Praise him for his acts of power; praise him for his surpassing greatness. 3 Praise him with the sounding of the trumpet, praise him with the harp and lyre, 4 praise him with tambourine and dancing, praise him with the strings and flute, 5 praise him with the clash of cymbals, praise him with resounding cymbals. 6 Let everything that has breath praise the LORD. Praise the LORD.
Friday, July 4, 2014
Applying what I have learned
Dear God,
Help and show me how to apply what I have learned to my daily life. I realize now that I find myself being entertained instead of being informed. I also find myself worrying more at times about entertainment than I do at being studious about Your word. I am sorry for that and for my lack of knowledge. I need Your help and Your wisdom in this manner.
In Jesus' name,
Amen
Help and show me how to apply what I have learned to my daily life. I realize now that I find myself being entertained instead of being informed. I also find myself worrying more at times about entertainment than I do at being studious about Your word. I am sorry for that and for my lack of knowledge. I need Your help and Your wisdom in this manner.
In Jesus' name,
Amen
Thursday, July 3, 2014
Letting it go
Dear Heavenly Father,
Help me to let the past go. You have saved me so that I have been given the opportunity to not only let the past go but to learn from it and grow. Thank You for that opportunity. Right now I am listening to "Let it go" by Idina Menzel. God, thank You for giving her the gift of song. It is a wonderful version of the song. I can relate to this song.
I have lived a rather interesting life. It is time I must be honest. I have not let go of the past. You have made me a new creation in Christ. It is time for me to act and be that new creation You have made. I am just glad that I am being perfected just as I am typing this.
I was bullied when I was a child and I have felt and sometimes still feel guilty about not fighting back or saying a word. I wish I could go back and stood up for myself and fight back. But now I just wonder and I have been having obsessive thoughts and exaggerated thoughts about them. I don't remember life being that bad even though I had my share of ups and downs.
I sometimes don't realize how exaggerated my thoughts truly are until my mind "calms" down. I realize that there is a one in a million chance that the thoughts are true. It has taken me a while to accept that I have Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, yet I do pray for healing. I still do pray for healing but I also realize that I have to reconcile my thoughts with what Your word says.
These thoughts have made me feel lousy about myself because I felt I was weak, but I thank You for empowering me. I didn't realize that the OCD could be a blessing in disguise. I do wonder if there is a coincidence between having these obsessive thoughts and my drawing closer to You. Is there a spiritual link? Help me to see that regardless of any connection, that I should be thankful and grateful that I have this condition because it has drawn me closer to You. I have learned a lot due to these obsessive thoughts.
It took long enough to realize that. I feel so much better. Thank You.
Sincerely,
Letters to God
Help me to let the past go. You have saved me so that I have been given the opportunity to not only let the past go but to learn from it and grow. Thank You for that opportunity. Right now I am listening to "Let it go" by Idina Menzel. God, thank You for giving her the gift of song. It is a wonderful version of the song. I can relate to this song.
I have lived a rather interesting life. It is time I must be honest. I have not let go of the past. You have made me a new creation in Christ. It is time for me to act and be that new creation You have made. I am just glad that I am being perfected just as I am typing this.
I was bullied when I was a child and I have felt and sometimes still feel guilty about not fighting back or saying a word. I wish I could go back and stood up for myself and fight back. But now I just wonder and I have been having obsessive thoughts and exaggerated thoughts about them. I don't remember life being that bad even though I had my share of ups and downs.
I sometimes don't realize how exaggerated my thoughts truly are until my mind "calms" down. I realize that there is a one in a million chance that the thoughts are true. It has taken me a while to accept that I have Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, yet I do pray for healing. I still do pray for healing but I also realize that I have to reconcile my thoughts with what Your word says.
These thoughts have made me feel lousy about myself because I felt I was weak, but I thank You for empowering me. I didn't realize that the OCD could be a blessing in disguise. I do wonder if there is a coincidence between having these obsessive thoughts and my drawing closer to You. Is there a spiritual link? Help me to see that regardless of any connection, that I should be thankful and grateful that I have this condition because it has drawn me closer to You. I have learned a lot due to these obsessive thoughts.
It took long enough to realize that. I feel so much better. Thank You.
Sincerely,
Letters to God
Tuesday, July 1, 2014
Self love
Dear God,
Forgive me for all of my sins. I believe that my not loving myself is the root to all of my problems including my perceptions of myself and the world around me. I have been struggling with self-esteem issues for many years and now I realize why. I need help in that area. I need You, Lord.
I wanted to be loved and accepted. I however didn't realize until years ago that I had it all along. I realized who my true friends were. I wish I knew that then what I know now. I had a false perception of myself and the world around me.
I was always too thin, too mean, too nice, too fat, too this and too that. I can play a good game, but I don't think all that highly of me. But You do, and for that, I thank You. How do I apply what You say to my situation? I believe that if I showed more love to myself and be thankful to myself then my issues can be resolved.
The problem is, I do not know to begin. Give me wisdom and guidance as far as knowing where to begin.
In Jesus' name,
Letters to God
Forgive me for all of my sins. I believe that my not loving myself is the root to all of my problems including my perceptions of myself and the world around me. I have been struggling with self-esteem issues for many years and now I realize why. I need help in that area. I need You, Lord.
I wanted to be loved and accepted. I however didn't realize until years ago that I had it all along. I realized who my true friends were. I wish I knew that then what I know now. I had a false perception of myself and the world around me.
I was always too thin, too mean, too nice, too fat, too this and too that. I can play a good game, but I don't think all that highly of me. But You do, and for that, I thank You. How do I apply what You say to my situation? I believe that if I showed more love to myself and be thankful to myself then my issues can be resolved.
The problem is, I do not know to begin. Give me wisdom and guidance as far as knowing where to begin.
In Jesus' name,
Letters to God
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)