One big cycle of life

Dear Lord,

I feel like leaving this planet.  I don't want to give up, but that is how I feel.  Life is such a struggle right now. Help me.  Help me to get out of the rut that I am in.  I feel like I am going to lose it.  I feel like everything is a cycle.  I know about the cycle of life but I thought it was about good karma and bad karma.  Now I wonder if it is about karma less or about obsessive compulsive disorder even more so.  I feel like my life is one big loop and I am just living in that loop unable to get out of it.  Everything I think, feel, do, write, or say is just one big obsessive thought.  It is like I have an extra persona living in on the inside of me.  It is rather strange to say the least.  Help me and bring me out of this struggle.  I ask this in Jesus' name.

Amen

Help me, Lord prayer

Dear Heavenly Father,

I have been tongue tied, literally.  I often don't know what to say to You about things.  All I know is that writing would be best right now.  I am tired.  I am spent.  I am sad.  I need to be more honest with myself and the fact is, I need to change.  It is time I do something for myself.  But I am always fearful.  I sound like a broken record to You, I know it.  Help me, Lord.

I am frazzled right now.  I need You.  I have been told that I have been improving though I have my doubts. The more things change, the more things stay the same.  Help me, Lord.

Sincerely,


Letters to God

Health issues

Dear Lord,

Forgive me, but I was trying to talk to You.  I felt like I gave up hope.  I have given up hope yet at the same time I am hopeful.  Take control of my situation and change me.  I wished that I had asked You this earlier. That was exactly what I have tried to ask You earlier.  Sadly, I needed help with my health.  I thought it was the tea, so I don't know what happened.  It fell apart and I was actually tired and such.  My blood sugar was lower than I ever thought was lower.  I feel so much better though.  Thank You.  Thank You that You know of my situation before I even ask.

In Jesus' name,

Amen

Pouring out

Dear Heavenly Father,

There are times when I have difficulty expressing myself to You. All is not well with me.  Maybe that is the problem.  I cannot only call on You when things are not perfect.  As long as I am alive, things will never be 100 percent perfect, whatever that means.  I will always have problems.  I wish that I knew all of the answers sometimes, but the truth is, I don't.

I just would like to know if I could understand why I have so many uncertainties about myself and the world that we live in.  Is he a racist?  How long will I live?  How many affairs has she had so far and why?  Those are questions that I ask everyday.  It is amazing that I can live through it.  It is amazing how anyone can live through illness.  Some have AIDS, are HIV positive, have cancer, and have mental illness.

I do have psychological issues.  I have been told about the chemical imbalance.  But I wonder about that as well.  Do I really have those issues?  What has triggered those issues?  What if I have known about these issues beforehand?  I wonder about those things, especially about one of those issues.  I am not healthy and I get tired of taking medication and admitting that I am a young diabetic who takes a lot of meds is not a badge of honor.  I feel ashamed.

I wish I never had to take medication.  I realize that I have to, but it can be a lot and I feel a lot of guilt about things.  My issues are minor compared to others.  There are many who have worse medical conditions than I and it seems like they have so much more courage and so much more life than I do.  They don't take life for granted because of their illnesses.  They seem to be less guilt-ridden and more brave than I am.  They are to be admired in my book.

I wish I had more admiration for myself.  I only want what is best for me, no matter how selfish I sound.  I would like for my prayer to be answered.  I want to be thinner than I am.  I want to be stronger than I am.  I want to be richer than I am.  I feel like I work hard and try too hard but always fail.  It is a struggle for me at times and I wish that struggle was only a small part of life.  What I have to realize is that life is unfair, so suffering is a part of life.  Give me strength in times of suffering, for I am suffering.

I am suffering that seems to be all but broken.  My self esteem is quite low and I have too little understanding about what it is like to have high self-confidence.  I want to live a godly life.  I would like to be decisive, have good moral character, and be a good wife and mother.  Being like a Proverbs 31 wife doesn't look to be easy, but she is one great role model for women.  She is beautiful inside, confident, trustworthy, and most of all, godly.  I see myself and I don't like what I see.

I am 39 years old, which means that I am nearing middle age.  I have all of the signs of Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome, the facial hair and the obesity.  I am not rich, so I don't have enough money to save on and I feel guilty about that.  I would like to work or do anything moral or honest to earn money.  I hate the situation I am in and I am trying to get out of it.  I would like to say something good about myself but even being grateful is a struggle.  I know that I complain a lot, so I ask that You would help me to be more grateful.  I surrender myself over to You.

I need You, Lord.  I need You.  I do not know what I am doing on this planet.  I sometimes don't know how to make it on my own, though I would like to.  God, give me strength.

Sincerely,

Letters to God

Help

Dear God,

Help me.

Sincerely,

Letters to God

OCD_Weight Issues

Dear God,

Help me to be consistent.  Teach me rather, how to be consistent.  Help me.  I need to overcome and deal with the fact that I have compulsion and obsessive issues that I need to face.  The first issue I need to deal with is about my health.  I weigh over 300 lbs and it has become difficult to walk.  I want to do this for me.  I ask that You would show me what it is that I need to do.  I ask for Your wisdom, guidance, and healing.  I pray this in Jesus' name,

Amen

A call for help

Dear Lord,

Help me to be ready for Your return.  Help me to count it all joy in even the worst times.  Help me to be grateful and give thanks in everything.  Thank You, Lord, for Your help in doing those things.

In Jesus' name,


Amen